How to Talk to Kids About Alcohol
Set a goal for the conversation., Remain calm., Ask what they already know., Stick to the facts., Answer their questions honestly., Make use of teachable moments., Keep it age-appropriate.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Set a goal for the conversation.
Before you start speaking with your child, establish what you hope your child will get from the conversation.
Do you simply want to educate them, or are you concerned that they may be experimenting with alcohol? Knowing what you want to communicate to your kid will make it easier to set the tone and pick your topics., It can be easy to get nervous or even upset when you’re talking to kids about alcohol.
You may feel anxious about what to say and how to say it without making them defensive.
You might also feel angry, scared, or disappointed if you’re having the conversation in response to an alcohol-related event.
But, getting upset will make it hard for you to communicate effectively.
If you remain calm, the conversation will go much more smoothly.Take a few deep breaths to calm yourself before the conversation.
Keep your voice calm, confident, and relaxed.
There’s no need to raise your voice , Kids can surprise you with what they know that you didn’t know they knew.
In order to make your talks about alcohol as effective as possible, find out what they already know before you get too far into the conversation.
It doesn’t have to be an interrogation, but getting this information can help you decide what you need to talk about in particular.For instance, you could tell a group of middle schoolers something like, “I’d like to talk to you about alcohol, but I don’t know where to start.
Could you help me by telling me what you already know?” Or, for example, you might ask a group of teenagers, “What issues do you all talk about when you discuss alcohol?” This helps make your talk seem more like a conversation and can help facilitate a respectful back-and-forth. , Although you want to express the seriousness of alcohol use and abuse to kids, you don’t need to exaggerate or embellish to get your point across.
Research statistics and other information about alcohol and share this information with the kids.
Presenting the facts about alcohol will make your conversation have more credibility.
For example, you can refer to resources like the CDC webpage on underage drinking at https://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/fact-sheets/underage-drinking.htm or HelpGuide.org’s website at https://www.helpguide.org/harvard/the-dangers-of-teenage-drinking.htm.
Avoid statements like, “Alcohol ruins your life.” This isn’t always the case.
Instead try, “Alcohol can lead you to make decisions that you may regret.” , Kids are naturally curious and may have questions about alcohol use and abuse.
They may also want to know your opinion (not just the facts) or about your experiences with alcohol.
Kids are also great at telling when adults aren’t being completely honest with them.
This can cause the kids to lose respect for you and, as a result, ignore what you’re trying to tell them about alcohol.
Keeping in mind the ages and maturity of the kids you’re talking to, be as honest as you can when answering their questions.For example, if your four-year-old asks if you drink alcohol, you might say, “Yes, every now and then I do.” However, you might answer your 14 year-old, “Yes, I have a glass of wine with dinner and on very special occasions I may have a bit more.” Or, for instance, if a child of an alcoholic parent asks you about their parent’s drinking, you might say, “Yes, your mom does have some issues she’s working on.
She loves you very much and doesn’t want alcohol to get in the way of that.” Having an open, honest discussion about your experiences helps make what you're saying more real and relatable for your child, rather than coming off as an encyclopedia of negative facts. , Not every conversation about alcohol has to be a long discussion, nor does it even have to be planned.
You can have effective talks with kids about alcohol when the topic naturally arises because of the situation.These teachable moments are a great way to have multiple, natural-feeling talks about alcohol.
For example, if you’re watching the news with your kids and a report comes on about a drunk driver, you might say, “Drinking can slow your reaction time.
Do you understand how alcohol affects your body?” Or, for instance, if you’re driving your kids somewhere and pass a billboard for an alcohol treatment facility, you could say, “There are lots of places and ways that people can get help for problems with alcohol.
Do you know some of the ways?” , An effective conversation about alcohol with kids of any age will be factual, honest, calm, and balanced.
However, your approach to the conversation should change depending on the age and maturity of the kids you’re talking to.For example, if you’re talking to high school kids about alcohol abuse you might mention effects like cirrhosis of the liver.
But with elementary kids you might just say that it can damage your body.
You may also want to have more frequent conversations about alcohol as the kids get older and their exposure to it increases. -
Step 2: Remain calm.
-
Step 3: Ask what they already know.
-
Step 4: Stick to the facts.
-
Step 5: Answer their questions honestly.
-
Step 6: Make use of teachable moments.
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Step 7: Keep it age-appropriate.
Detailed Guide
Before you start speaking with your child, establish what you hope your child will get from the conversation.
Do you simply want to educate them, or are you concerned that they may be experimenting with alcohol? Knowing what you want to communicate to your kid will make it easier to set the tone and pick your topics., It can be easy to get nervous or even upset when you’re talking to kids about alcohol.
You may feel anxious about what to say and how to say it without making them defensive.
You might also feel angry, scared, or disappointed if you’re having the conversation in response to an alcohol-related event.
But, getting upset will make it hard for you to communicate effectively.
If you remain calm, the conversation will go much more smoothly.Take a few deep breaths to calm yourself before the conversation.
Keep your voice calm, confident, and relaxed.
There’s no need to raise your voice , Kids can surprise you with what they know that you didn’t know they knew.
In order to make your talks about alcohol as effective as possible, find out what they already know before you get too far into the conversation.
It doesn’t have to be an interrogation, but getting this information can help you decide what you need to talk about in particular.For instance, you could tell a group of middle schoolers something like, “I’d like to talk to you about alcohol, but I don’t know where to start.
Could you help me by telling me what you already know?” Or, for example, you might ask a group of teenagers, “What issues do you all talk about when you discuss alcohol?” This helps make your talk seem more like a conversation and can help facilitate a respectful back-and-forth. , Although you want to express the seriousness of alcohol use and abuse to kids, you don’t need to exaggerate or embellish to get your point across.
Research statistics and other information about alcohol and share this information with the kids.
Presenting the facts about alcohol will make your conversation have more credibility.
For example, you can refer to resources like the CDC webpage on underage drinking at https://www.cdc.gov/alcohol/fact-sheets/underage-drinking.htm or HelpGuide.org’s website at https://www.helpguide.org/harvard/the-dangers-of-teenage-drinking.htm.
Avoid statements like, “Alcohol ruins your life.” This isn’t always the case.
Instead try, “Alcohol can lead you to make decisions that you may regret.” , Kids are naturally curious and may have questions about alcohol use and abuse.
They may also want to know your opinion (not just the facts) or about your experiences with alcohol.
Kids are also great at telling when adults aren’t being completely honest with them.
This can cause the kids to lose respect for you and, as a result, ignore what you’re trying to tell them about alcohol.
Keeping in mind the ages and maturity of the kids you’re talking to, be as honest as you can when answering their questions.For example, if your four-year-old asks if you drink alcohol, you might say, “Yes, every now and then I do.” However, you might answer your 14 year-old, “Yes, I have a glass of wine with dinner and on very special occasions I may have a bit more.” Or, for instance, if a child of an alcoholic parent asks you about their parent’s drinking, you might say, “Yes, your mom does have some issues she’s working on.
She loves you very much and doesn’t want alcohol to get in the way of that.” Having an open, honest discussion about your experiences helps make what you're saying more real and relatable for your child, rather than coming off as an encyclopedia of negative facts. , Not every conversation about alcohol has to be a long discussion, nor does it even have to be planned.
You can have effective talks with kids about alcohol when the topic naturally arises because of the situation.These teachable moments are a great way to have multiple, natural-feeling talks about alcohol.
For example, if you’re watching the news with your kids and a report comes on about a drunk driver, you might say, “Drinking can slow your reaction time.
Do you understand how alcohol affects your body?” Or, for instance, if you’re driving your kids somewhere and pass a billboard for an alcohol treatment facility, you could say, “There are lots of places and ways that people can get help for problems with alcohol.
Do you know some of the ways?” , An effective conversation about alcohol with kids of any age will be factual, honest, calm, and balanced.
However, your approach to the conversation should change depending on the age and maturity of the kids you’re talking to.For example, if you’re talking to high school kids about alcohol abuse you might mention effects like cirrhosis of the liver.
But with elementary kids you might just say that it can damage your body.
You may also want to have more frequent conversations about alcohol as the kids get older and their exposure to it increases.
About the Author
Brenda Ellis
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in organization and beyond.
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