How to Talk to Parents So They'll Understand

Step-by-Step Guide

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   Step 1: Find a time to talk when your parent is not doing something else

   Otherwise, their mind will be elsewhere and they will either get irritated or not give you their undivided attention.
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   Step 2: like dishes

   "Dad, I want to talk to you about something.
   
   When would be a good time for us to talk?" They will be thrilled that you (1) recognize the importance of scheduling time to discuss an issue with them and (2) your maturity and initiative in coming to them to discuss something.
   
   They want you to talk to them, are terrified you won't so they'll jump at the chance. , Let's start with what are the issues? Put them on a piece of paper.
   
   Now walk through them by yourself, what would you do if you were the parent? Have you done something to cause them to say no? Did you break a rule? Did you break their trust? Then, figure out a way to earn that trust back.
   
   Let's say for example, that you came home at 11:00 and your were supposed to be home at 9:00.
   
   Your punishment is you are grounded.
   
   Offer to do something else so you can earn the right to attend this event.
   
   Got it? Maybe you do the dishes, wash clothes, babysit your brother, massage your mother's feet! You have to figure out a strategy before your meeting. , Try not to say, "You did" etc.
   
   Calmly, open your meeting with a statement such as, "I feel that it's unfair that I couldn't go to the party Friday night." This statement explains the issue you want to address--stay focused and very crucial! , "Can you help me understand why I can't go out? If I don't understand the why, then you can't address what you need to change."
   
   "What are your concerns, Dad? Help me understand what your issues or concerns are?" Maybe they know something you don't.
   
   You need to develop communication between the two of you and not just assume that it's for one reason or another.
   
   Keep your voice steady, not raised or excited.
   
   Maybe they don't understand why this is important to you. , You hate hearing it; so do they.
   
   It's not going to get you anywhere--it will only make the situation worse. , "Dad, I feel really sad that you don't trust me and I want to know what to do to make you trust me," works a million times better than, "You never let me do what I want!" Be careful not to go overboard- being too smarmy will result in a quick "No!"
   
   Even if they annoy you, they are your parents.
   
   And they'll respect you if you respect them. , Understand that you need to earn their trust.
   
   Tell them you understand how important trust is.
   
   If you have broken their trust in the past, then you need to earn it moving forward.
   
   Ask them what you can do to earn their trust back. ,
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   Step 3: working in their home office

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   Step 4: talking on the phone

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   Step 5: putting other kids to bed etc.

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   Step 6: Schedule time to speak with your parents.

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   Step 7: Plan your strategy.

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   Step 8: Start with a statement.

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   Step 9: Ask them why.

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    Step 10: Ask them what their concerns are.

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    Step 11: Do not complain or whine.

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    Step 12: Keep the focus on what you want and what you feel

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    Step 13: and be honest.

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    Step 14: Be respectful.

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    Step 15: Earn their trust.

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    Step 16: Be helpful and nice so they will be nice and helpful to you!

Detailed Guide

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