How to Talk to Your Teen About Sex
Plan ahead., Be prepared for questions., Talk about facts versus beliefs., Discuss physical aspects of sex., Talk about emotional consequences., Be prepared to provide accurate information.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Plan ahead.
Some people find it very difficult to talk to their teenager about sex.
It can feel uncomfortable and awkward.
If you are well-prepared for this important talk, you'll feel more confident and comfortable.Write down your main points.
Spend some time thinking about what you really want to convey during this talk.
Do you want to include information about safe sex? Write it down.
Do you want to make sure your teen knows where to get birth control? Write it down.
Take time to practice.
Go over your notes with a friend or in front of your bathroom mirror.
It's up to you when to talk to your teen about sex.
If they start asking questions at an early age, go ahead and answer.
If your teen doesn't seem interested, you can wait until they are a little older.
Going through puberty is generally a good indicator that they are ready to learn. -
Step 2: Be prepared for questions.
It's definitely helpful to plan ahead for this important discussion.
While you can't know exactly how your teen will respond, you can try to anticipate certain reactions.
Be ready to answer questions, as your teen might have several.Your teen might ask, "How will I know if I'm ready to have sex?" You can explain that there is no rush, and that there are lots of other ways to be intimate.
Another common question is, "What if I'm being pressured to have sex?" You might want to say something like, "No one has the right to pressure you.
You are in charge of your own body and you can make your own choices." Many teens will use this opportunity to discuss sexuality.
It is common for a teen to ask, "What if I think I'm gay?" In this case, let your teen know that you love them unconditionally and offer to help them sort through their feelings. , For many people, sex is intertwined with religion or other personal values.
When you talk to your child about sex, you should include a discussion of both facts and beliefs.
Talk about each, and differentiate between the two.Make your personal values clear.
For example, if you believe in waiting until marriage for sex, say that clearly to your teen.
You should also be pragmatic and realize your teen might have different values.
You can say, "I would prefer that you wait until you are married.
But if you have other ideas, please know that I am always willing to listen to you." You can explain that many people have certain beliefs about sex.
Be clear that there are differences between community beliefs, such as those at church, and scientific facts.
For example, maybe your faith prohibits the use of birth control.
You can still explain the facts behind the science.
Try not to preach.
You can make your point of view clear, but still say, "I'm happy to listen to you and answer questions."
When you are figuring out what you want to say, make sure to include some facts about the physical aspects of sex.
For example, depending on your teen's age and knowledge, you might want to explain the mechanics of intercourse.
It's okay to start by saying, "Can you tell me what you already know?"Discuss the male and female reproductive systems.
You can say, "Do you mind if I take a few minutes to make sure you understand how pregnancy occurs?" Be frank.
Use the proper names for body parts, and don't try to shy away from discussing bodily functions.
Talk about STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections).
Make sure that your teen is aware of the physical risks of unprotected sex, such as HIV and chlamydia. , When you talk to your teen about sex, it's a good idea to discuss the emotional aspects of having sex.
Becoming sexually active can cause a lot of new feelings for your teen.
Plan to discuss emotional changes.You can explain to your teen that sex is a very intimate experience.
They might start to feel deeper feelings for their partner.
Make sure your teen understands the important aspects of a healthy relationship.
For example, the person they date should make them feel good about themselves and show them respect and kindness.
Discuss unintended emotional consequences.
Make sure your teen understands rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse. , You want your teen to come away from this talk with a clear understanding of sex.
Make sure that the facts you provide are accurate.
If you don't know something, take time to look it up before your talk.It's okay if you don't know every possible form of birth control.
But you want your teen to have as much information as possible, right? Take some time to explore the Planned Parenthood website and learn something new.Your teen might ask a question that you don't know the answer to.
That's fine, you can't possibly know everything.
If that happens, just say, "I don't know, but I'm happy to help you find the answer." -
Step 3: Talk about facts versus beliefs.
-
Step 4: Discuss physical aspects of sex.
-
Step 5: Talk about emotional consequences.
-
Step 6: Be prepared to provide accurate information.
Detailed Guide
Some people find it very difficult to talk to their teenager about sex.
It can feel uncomfortable and awkward.
If you are well-prepared for this important talk, you'll feel more confident and comfortable.Write down your main points.
Spend some time thinking about what you really want to convey during this talk.
Do you want to include information about safe sex? Write it down.
Do you want to make sure your teen knows where to get birth control? Write it down.
Take time to practice.
Go over your notes with a friend or in front of your bathroom mirror.
It's up to you when to talk to your teen about sex.
If they start asking questions at an early age, go ahead and answer.
If your teen doesn't seem interested, you can wait until they are a little older.
Going through puberty is generally a good indicator that they are ready to learn.
It's definitely helpful to plan ahead for this important discussion.
While you can't know exactly how your teen will respond, you can try to anticipate certain reactions.
Be ready to answer questions, as your teen might have several.Your teen might ask, "How will I know if I'm ready to have sex?" You can explain that there is no rush, and that there are lots of other ways to be intimate.
Another common question is, "What if I'm being pressured to have sex?" You might want to say something like, "No one has the right to pressure you.
You are in charge of your own body and you can make your own choices." Many teens will use this opportunity to discuss sexuality.
It is common for a teen to ask, "What if I think I'm gay?" In this case, let your teen know that you love them unconditionally and offer to help them sort through their feelings. , For many people, sex is intertwined with religion or other personal values.
When you talk to your child about sex, you should include a discussion of both facts and beliefs.
Talk about each, and differentiate between the two.Make your personal values clear.
For example, if you believe in waiting until marriage for sex, say that clearly to your teen.
You should also be pragmatic and realize your teen might have different values.
You can say, "I would prefer that you wait until you are married.
But if you have other ideas, please know that I am always willing to listen to you." You can explain that many people have certain beliefs about sex.
Be clear that there are differences between community beliefs, such as those at church, and scientific facts.
For example, maybe your faith prohibits the use of birth control.
You can still explain the facts behind the science.
Try not to preach.
You can make your point of view clear, but still say, "I'm happy to listen to you and answer questions."
When you are figuring out what you want to say, make sure to include some facts about the physical aspects of sex.
For example, depending on your teen's age and knowledge, you might want to explain the mechanics of intercourse.
It's okay to start by saying, "Can you tell me what you already know?"Discuss the male and female reproductive systems.
You can say, "Do you mind if I take a few minutes to make sure you understand how pregnancy occurs?" Be frank.
Use the proper names for body parts, and don't try to shy away from discussing bodily functions.
Talk about STIs (Sexually Transmitted Infections).
Make sure that your teen is aware of the physical risks of unprotected sex, such as HIV and chlamydia. , When you talk to your teen about sex, it's a good idea to discuss the emotional aspects of having sex.
Becoming sexually active can cause a lot of new feelings for your teen.
Plan to discuss emotional changes.You can explain to your teen that sex is a very intimate experience.
They might start to feel deeper feelings for their partner.
Make sure your teen understands the important aspects of a healthy relationship.
For example, the person they date should make them feel good about themselves and show them respect and kindness.
Discuss unintended emotional consequences.
Make sure your teen understands rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse. , You want your teen to come away from this talk with a clear understanding of sex.
Make sure that the facts you provide are accurate.
If you don't know something, take time to look it up before your talk.It's okay if you don't know every possible form of birth control.
But you want your teen to have as much information as possible, right? Take some time to explore the Planned Parenthood website and learn something new.Your teen might ask a question that you don't know the answer to.
That's fine, you can't possibly know everything.
If that happens, just say, "I don't know, but I'm happy to help you find the answer."
About the Author
Cynthia Sanchez
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in pet care and beyond.
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