How to Teach Children to Become Resilient
Build a relationship with your child., Set firm boundaries., Encourage patience., Teach specific skills., Teach appropriate emotion control., Encourage a positive outlook.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Build a relationship with your child.
Creating a strong relationship with your child helps them develop resilience.
Children are more confident and independent when they feel secure in their relationships with the adults in their lives.
They feel loved, accepted, and protected, which helps them to deal with adversity.To build a relationship with your child, interact with them in a positive way each day.
Avoid constant criticism, yelling, or ignoring them.
Even if you are busy, take half an hour out of your day to talk, spend time with, or interact with each of your children.
Give physical affection, such as hugs and kisses.
Smile and laugh with them.
Comfort your children when they are experiencing negative feelings.
Listen to what your children have to say. -
Step 2: Set firm boundaries.
Understanding that there are boundaries in life that you must adhere to helps build resiliency.
Set rules and boundaries for your children.
The most important thing is to hold to those boundaries, even when your child is begging that you break them.For example, if you set a limit on the amount of television your child can watch every day, then don’t allow them to watch more if they ask for it.
If your child wants candy or ice cream before dinner, say no.
If they throw a tantrum, don’t give in and reward the negative behavior.
Say, "No.
You know that there are no sugar snacks before dinner" or "You have watched your two hours of television.
You cannot watch anymore tonight."
Another way to teach resilience is to help your child learn patience.
Many kids are used to getting what they want, when they want it.
When this does not happen, they throw tantrums.
Getting what they want as soon as they want it can extend into adulthood, which may cause problems in jobs or when trying to achieve a goal.
Instead, try to help your child learn patience.For example, don’t always entertain or distract your children.
When you are on a long car ride, encourage them to be patient and find ways to amuse themselves.
As you wait at a restaurant, don’t give them a cell phone, tablet, or handheld game.
Instead, encourage them to wait with the family and participate in conversation. , Your children will need various skills to get through life.
They will need certain skills to help them in situations where they are struggling or weaker than others.
One specific skill they need is to learn how to make friends and interact socially with others.Look at your child and help them develop specific skills in their weak areas that they can use to overcome their challenges.Children should be taught how to think about others and understand where they are coming from.
They need to be taught how to be friends so they can be a friend to someone else.
For example, a child who has trouble talking to others may be taught how to introduce themselves, start a conversation, or talk to someone.
A child who is quiet in class may be taught how to ask questions about their homework or make a point about something covered in class. , Part of resilience is learning to embrace and experience your emotions in a proper way.
Children should be encouraged to express and feel their emotions.
However, they should be taught that emotions are just emotions and not an excuse for a tantrum.
When your child experiences emotions, help them learn what they should do in response to those emotions.For example, if your child gets angry because you cannot go to the park today, you should let them know that is okay.
You may say, “I understand how you feel.
It is okay to feel upset when you really wanted to do something.” If your child’s emotions turn into a tantrum, you need to explain that the behavior is not appropriate.
For example, “I understand that you are upset we are not going to the park.
It is okay to be upset.
However, it is not acceptable to throw a tantrum.” , Teaching your children how to remain positive even when facing challenges helps teach resilience.
When facing a tough situation, help your child avoid feeling hopeless or like this situation is the end of the world.
Remind them that they will move past this and this situation is only temporary.
Help them learn how to stay positive even through the bad times.For example, you may say, “I know things are hard right now and you feel things will never get better.
However, remember that every day is a new day.
Soon it will be months from now, and this will be a memory.
Stay positive that you can get through this.” It might help to remind them of a past challenging situation that they got through.
This can show that they have gotten through this before, and they can do it again. -
Step 3: Encourage patience.
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Step 4: Teach specific skills.
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Step 5: Teach appropriate emotion control.
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Step 6: Encourage a positive outlook.
Detailed Guide
Creating a strong relationship with your child helps them develop resilience.
Children are more confident and independent when they feel secure in their relationships with the adults in their lives.
They feel loved, accepted, and protected, which helps them to deal with adversity.To build a relationship with your child, interact with them in a positive way each day.
Avoid constant criticism, yelling, or ignoring them.
Even if you are busy, take half an hour out of your day to talk, spend time with, or interact with each of your children.
Give physical affection, such as hugs and kisses.
Smile and laugh with them.
Comfort your children when they are experiencing negative feelings.
Listen to what your children have to say.
Understanding that there are boundaries in life that you must adhere to helps build resiliency.
Set rules and boundaries for your children.
The most important thing is to hold to those boundaries, even when your child is begging that you break them.For example, if you set a limit on the amount of television your child can watch every day, then don’t allow them to watch more if they ask for it.
If your child wants candy or ice cream before dinner, say no.
If they throw a tantrum, don’t give in and reward the negative behavior.
Say, "No.
You know that there are no sugar snacks before dinner" or "You have watched your two hours of television.
You cannot watch anymore tonight."
Another way to teach resilience is to help your child learn patience.
Many kids are used to getting what they want, when they want it.
When this does not happen, they throw tantrums.
Getting what they want as soon as they want it can extend into adulthood, which may cause problems in jobs or when trying to achieve a goal.
Instead, try to help your child learn patience.For example, don’t always entertain or distract your children.
When you are on a long car ride, encourage them to be patient and find ways to amuse themselves.
As you wait at a restaurant, don’t give them a cell phone, tablet, or handheld game.
Instead, encourage them to wait with the family and participate in conversation. , Your children will need various skills to get through life.
They will need certain skills to help them in situations where they are struggling or weaker than others.
One specific skill they need is to learn how to make friends and interact socially with others.Look at your child and help them develop specific skills in their weak areas that they can use to overcome their challenges.Children should be taught how to think about others and understand where they are coming from.
They need to be taught how to be friends so they can be a friend to someone else.
For example, a child who has trouble talking to others may be taught how to introduce themselves, start a conversation, or talk to someone.
A child who is quiet in class may be taught how to ask questions about their homework or make a point about something covered in class. , Part of resilience is learning to embrace and experience your emotions in a proper way.
Children should be encouraged to express and feel their emotions.
However, they should be taught that emotions are just emotions and not an excuse for a tantrum.
When your child experiences emotions, help them learn what they should do in response to those emotions.For example, if your child gets angry because you cannot go to the park today, you should let them know that is okay.
You may say, “I understand how you feel.
It is okay to feel upset when you really wanted to do something.” If your child’s emotions turn into a tantrum, you need to explain that the behavior is not appropriate.
For example, “I understand that you are upset we are not going to the park.
It is okay to be upset.
However, it is not acceptable to throw a tantrum.” , Teaching your children how to remain positive even when facing challenges helps teach resilience.
When facing a tough situation, help your child avoid feeling hopeless or like this situation is the end of the world.
Remind them that they will move past this and this situation is only temporary.
Help them learn how to stay positive even through the bad times.For example, you may say, “I know things are hard right now and you feel things will never get better.
However, remember that every day is a new day.
Soon it will be months from now, and this will be a memory.
Stay positive that you can get through this.” It might help to remind them of a past challenging situation that they got through.
This can show that they have gotten through this before, and they can do it again.
About the Author
Stephanie Gibson
Brings years of experience writing about practical skills and related subjects.
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