How to Tell a Child They Are Autistic
Tell them soon., Choose a good time to talk to your child., Approach your child and gently introduce the conversation., Be positive and straightforward while giving them this news., Explain autism., Ask if they have any questions., Help your child...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Tell them soon.
Some parents avoid telling their children about their autism because they don't want their child to feel different.
However, hiding the word will not stop this.
If your child is around other children, then they already can tell that they aren't like everyone else.If you explain autism, you can give them an explanation for this, and make it clear that this isn't their fault and they aren't bad or wrong. , This conversation will have a big impact on your child's life, so it carries quite a bit of emotion in and of itself.
Find a time when your child is calm, content, and not busy.
A good time might be after they've come home from school, finished their homework, and had a snack.
If issues such as hunger, thirst, stress, and restlessness are on the child's mind, they might not be able to process this new piece of information well.
Give them some time think about it; don't tell them just before school or bedtime, as it may occupy their minds in class or when they're trying to sleep. , Use any of the following ideas ideas, and add in things that you think your child will be receptive to. Some possible conversation starters include: "Would you like to hear the results of the tests with Dr.
Smith?" "I have something important to talk to you about." "I want to tell you what your teachers have found out about you."
Autism does not have to be a bad thing, and your attitude about it will influence how your child feels about themself.
Even if your child seems unemotional about it, they could be in emotional turmoil on the inside.
Do not say that you're sorry or present it as a tragic or sad situation.
Autism is part of who your child is, and if you're negative about it, then the child will begin to feel guilt, resentment, even hatred in regards to their autism.
Being autistic in a non-autistic world is hard in and of itself.
Don't make the label yet another burden for your child to bear, , Be sure to emphasize that it's natural and they were born with it, just like they were born with blue eyes or black hair.
Explain it in terms of their experiences, so that they understand how it affects them, and let them know they aren't alone.
Describe how around 1% of the population is thought to be autistic, including many geniuses and very successful people, such as Bill Gates and Albert Einstein, are speculated to be or have been autistic as well.
Mention the good parts as well as the hard parts.
This will help your child recognize that it isn't a tragedy.
For example, "Autism is why you didn't learn to speak until you were older, and why it can be hard for you to understand other kids sometimes.
It's also why you're so passionate about drawing and good at recognizing patterns in math." Make it clear that different isn't bad.
When you tell your child they're autistic, make sure to emphasize their strengths, and explain that just because they aren't like their classmates doesn't mean that they're bad or that they did something wrong. , This is a lot for a child to take in, and if they are particularly young, they might not know anything about autism.
Whether they ask anything or not, don't worry.
You can have more than one conversation about autism, so the first one doesn't need to cover everything., Your child needs to learn and understand autism on their own terms.
Help them get involved with autistic culture.
If your child wants to ask you questions directly, learn about autism on your own and admit when you need to look up something.
If your child likes other learning methods like podcasts, comics, videos, or anything else, search the web for appropriate information.
Here are some useful things they can read:
AuKids Asperkids Welcome packets from autism organizations such as ASAN and Autism Acceptance MonthLifeGuide Hub articles, including Accept Your Autism and Be a Sweet Autistic Girl Articles written by Autistic adults about how they handle being autistic , Since it takes time to process, your child may need some time to think, and may come back days or weeks later with new questions.
Accept and encourage curiosity, and tell them the answers or look for answers together., This is the most important part.
Remember that your child's world is shaped by autism, and look for ways to help make it easier.
Remind yourself and your child that people don't suffer from autism, they only suffer from people who don't understand autism.
With family and friends who try their best to understand autism, it is just another way of looking at the world that is no worse than anyone else's way.
Your positive support of your child can make all the difference in helping them to cope with the diagnosis and thrive in life. -
Step 2: Choose a good time to talk to your child.
-
Step 3: Approach your child and gently introduce the conversation.
-
Step 4: Be positive and straightforward while giving them this news.
-
Step 5: Explain autism.
-
Step 6: Ask if they have any questions.
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Step 7: Help your child learn what autism means to them.
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Step 8: Be prepared for more questions later.
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Step 9: Support your child!
Detailed Guide
Some parents avoid telling their children about their autism because they don't want their child to feel different.
However, hiding the word will not stop this.
If your child is around other children, then they already can tell that they aren't like everyone else.If you explain autism, you can give them an explanation for this, and make it clear that this isn't their fault and they aren't bad or wrong. , This conversation will have a big impact on your child's life, so it carries quite a bit of emotion in and of itself.
Find a time when your child is calm, content, and not busy.
A good time might be after they've come home from school, finished their homework, and had a snack.
If issues such as hunger, thirst, stress, and restlessness are on the child's mind, they might not be able to process this new piece of information well.
Give them some time think about it; don't tell them just before school or bedtime, as it may occupy their minds in class or when they're trying to sleep. , Use any of the following ideas ideas, and add in things that you think your child will be receptive to. Some possible conversation starters include: "Would you like to hear the results of the tests with Dr.
Smith?" "I have something important to talk to you about." "I want to tell you what your teachers have found out about you."
Autism does not have to be a bad thing, and your attitude about it will influence how your child feels about themself.
Even if your child seems unemotional about it, they could be in emotional turmoil on the inside.
Do not say that you're sorry or present it as a tragic or sad situation.
Autism is part of who your child is, and if you're negative about it, then the child will begin to feel guilt, resentment, even hatred in regards to their autism.
Being autistic in a non-autistic world is hard in and of itself.
Don't make the label yet another burden for your child to bear, , Be sure to emphasize that it's natural and they were born with it, just like they were born with blue eyes or black hair.
Explain it in terms of their experiences, so that they understand how it affects them, and let them know they aren't alone.
Describe how around 1% of the population is thought to be autistic, including many geniuses and very successful people, such as Bill Gates and Albert Einstein, are speculated to be or have been autistic as well.
Mention the good parts as well as the hard parts.
This will help your child recognize that it isn't a tragedy.
For example, "Autism is why you didn't learn to speak until you were older, and why it can be hard for you to understand other kids sometimes.
It's also why you're so passionate about drawing and good at recognizing patterns in math." Make it clear that different isn't bad.
When you tell your child they're autistic, make sure to emphasize their strengths, and explain that just because they aren't like their classmates doesn't mean that they're bad or that they did something wrong. , This is a lot for a child to take in, and if they are particularly young, they might not know anything about autism.
Whether they ask anything or not, don't worry.
You can have more than one conversation about autism, so the first one doesn't need to cover everything., Your child needs to learn and understand autism on their own terms.
Help them get involved with autistic culture.
If your child wants to ask you questions directly, learn about autism on your own and admit when you need to look up something.
If your child likes other learning methods like podcasts, comics, videos, or anything else, search the web for appropriate information.
Here are some useful things they can read:
AuKids Asperkids Welcome packets from autism organizations such as ASAN and Autism Acceptance MonthLifeGuide Hub articles, including Accept Your Autism and Be a Sweet Autistic Girl Articles written by Autistic adults about how they handle being autistic , Since it takes time to process, your child may need some time to think, and may come back days or weeks later with new questions.
Accept and encourage curiosity, and tell them the answers or look for answers together., This is the most important part.
Remember that your child's world is shaped by autism, and look for ways to help make it easier.
Remind yourself and your child that people don't suffer from autism, they only suffer from people who don't understand autism.
With family and friends who try their best to understand autism, it is just another way of looking at the world that is no worse than anyone else's way.
Your positive support of your child can make all the difference in helping them to cope with the diagnosis and thrive in life.
About the Author
Mary Hall
Brings years of experience writing about creative arts and related subjects.
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