How to Tell Your Mom You Don’t Want Her in the Delivery Room
Think about the decision., Even though you must stand strong about your convictions, prepare yourself for the reaction., Create an action plan that will make mom still feel part of the birth., Consider areas where you could compromise.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Think about the decision.
Why don’t you want mom in the delivery room? There may be several reasons why having your mom parked in the delivery room sounds like a terrible idea.
She’s hysterical.
If your mom reacts to emergency situations like Shirley MacLaine in the film “Terms of Endearment” you will really need her to wait outside.
Having her demand that the doctor make you comfortable or running around in a panic will only make you feel worse and possibly scar you for life.
She’s too nosy.
The last thing you need is for your mom to be parked at the end of the bed, texting the gory details to Aunt Bea and her Bunco group while you push.
She’s too bossy.
You want to be in charge of the birth, but you know that mom will take over and start ordering people around.
It’s all about mom.
Somehow this glowing moment will end up being about how it impacts her life--or she’ll faint and the doctors and nurses will be more concerned with her wellbeing than the emerging child.
She’s too rough.
If mom likes to tell you to “suck it up” when you are in pain or upset, having her tell you to get over labor pains may not help your situation. -
Step 2: Even though you must stand strong about your convictions
Of course you should skew your presentation about why she should wait outside based on previous experience, but you should still be prepared to take on whatever will come your way.
Crying.
Will she go for the pity party and start weeping, talking about how she’ll be dead soon and only wanted to witness the birth of her grandchild? The silent treatment.
Will she be so mad that she won’t speak to you until you give in or the child is ready to take college entrance exams? Outright anger.
Are you going to be facing a hurricane of wrath complete with screaming and yelling? Passive aggressive.
She seems to be taking it fine, but then there’s that dig during your baby shower about how chubby you’ve gotten or how you are making bad decisions with regard to your birthing plan. , With her potential reaction in mind, craft a strategy that allows you to save face but still get your way.
Make something up.
Tell her that the hospital only will allow your significant other in the room (but if it were up to you, you’d totally have her in the room).
Confirm with the hospital that either this is true or if they will help to perpetuate your lie.
Ask her for a big favor.
If you make mom feel as if you have an important job for her during delivery, perhaps she can get past not being in the room.
Ask her to be in charge of taking post-delivery photos, taking care of your significant other during the process or even request that she handle the family pet.
Tell her how you feel.
Only go with this strategy if you think you can get away with it unscathed.
However, sugar coat how you feel.
If mom is totally annoying and hysterical during intense situations, tell her that you just want to have the doctor and your man in the room so you can focus and concentrate. , If she is completely heartbroken, consider if there are ways where you could include her.
Perhaps allow her to stay in the room with you while you go through labor but maybe not during the actual delivery.
Or allow her to come back into the room immediately after the baby’s cord is cut and is being checked by doctors.
Think of what may happen during delivery and consider if there is any room to include her. -
Step 3: prepare yourself for the reaction.
-
Step 4: Create an action plan that will make mom still feel part of the birth.
-
Step 5: Consider areas where you could compromise.
Detailed Guide
Why don’t you want mom in the delivery room? There may be several reasons why having your mom parked in the delivery room sounds like a terrible idea.
She’s hysterical.
If your mom reacts to emergency situations like Shirley MacLaine in the film “Terms of Endearment” you will really need her to wait outside.
Having her demand that the doctor make you comfortable or running around in a panic will only make you feel worse and possibly scar you for life.
She’s too nosy.
The last thing you need is for your mom to be parked at the end of the bed, texting the gory details to Aunt Bea and her Bunco group while you push.
She’s too bossy.
You want to be in charge of the birth, but you know that mom will take over and start ordering people around.
It’s all about mom.
Somehow this glowing moment will end up being about how it impacts her life--or she’ll faint and the doctors and nurses will be more concerned with her wellbeing than the emerging child.
She’s too rough.
If mom likes to tell you to “suck it up” when you are in pain or upset, having her tell you to get over labor pains may not help your situation.
Of course you should skew your presentation about why she should wait outside based on previous experience, but you should still be prepared to take on whatever will come your way.
Crying.
Will she go for the pity party and start weeping, talking about how she’ll be dead soon and only wanted to witness the birth of her grandchild? The silent treatment.
Will she be so mad that she won’t speak to you until you give in or the child is ready to take college entrance exams? Outright anger.
Are you going to be facing a hurricane of wrath complete with screaming and yelling? Passive aggressive.
She seems to be taking it fine, but then there’s that dig during your baby shower about how chubby you’ve gotten or how you are making bad decisions with regard to your birthing plan. , With her potential reaction in mind, craft a strategy that allows you to save face but still get your way.
Make something up.
Tell her that the hospital only will allow your significant other in the room (but if it were up to you, you’d totally have her in the room).
Confirm with the hospital that either this is true or if they will help to perpetuate your lie.
Ask her for a big favor.
If you make mom feel as if you have an important job for her during delivery, perhaps she can get past not being in the room.
Ask her to be in charge of taking post-delivery photos, taking care of your significant other during the process or even request that she handle the family pet.
Tell her how you feel.
Only go with this strategy if you think you can get away with it unscathed.
However, sugar coat how you feel.
If mom is totally annoying and hysterical during intense situations, tell her that you just want to have the doctor and your man in the room so you can focus and concentrate. , If she is completely heartbroken, consider if there are ways where you could include her.
Perhaps allow her to stay in the room with you while you go through labor but maybe not during the actual delivery.
Or allow her to come back into the room immediately after the baby’s cord is cut and is being checked by doctors.
Think of what may happen during delivery and consider if there is any room to include her.
About the Author
Marie Fisher
Marie Fisher specializes in arts and creative design and has been creating helpful content for over 2 years. Marie is committed to helping readers learn new skills and improve their lives.
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