How to Tell Your Siblings You Are Bisexual
Tell them in person if you can., Consider letting them know non-verbally., Speak slowly and calmly., Ask for your siblings’ support., Be patient., Anticipate questions that might come up.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Tell them in person if you can.
There are plenty of ways you can go about sharing the information you’re hoping to convey to your siblings.
Your relationship with them, as well as any potential qualms on their part will factor into this decision.It may seem hard to bring up the conversation.
You can ease into a more serious conversation by saying something like, “There’s something important that I want to tell you because you mean a lot to me.” Also include some reassurance with a statement that indicates your comfort with you own bisexuality.
Say something like, “I’m happy and healthy!” Consider telling your siblings one at a time.
This route offers you the chance to take a different approach with each of the people you hope to share the news with.
For instance, you may have a sibling with whom a conversation in the car may work best, so as to facilitate a conversational dynamic in which eye contact isn’t as frequent as it may be face-to-face.
Be straightforward.
If your siblings may be unsure what you mean when you tell them you’re bisexual, follow up with “I’m attracted to both men and women.” Go for a walk.
Walking may be the very best way to have any sort of conversation with anyone.
The fresh air, the mobility, the privacy, and more all provide a comfortable context in which to share a meaningful, heartfelt conversation.
However you choose to tell your siblings, be sure to include something along the lines of “I love you, and I want us to have an honest, positive relationship.” -
Step 2: Consider letting them know non-verbally.
A face-to-face conversation may be too intense for either you or your siblings.
Some people will benefit from the distance and time allowed to digest the news, whereas a face-to-face conversation may lead to rash or overly emotional reactions.
Especially if you came from a home that was aggressively religious, culturally one-dimensional, or generally lacking in conversations about sex, notifying your siblings of your sexual orientation might initially upset them.
While texts and phone calls could work, writing a letter might be the best way to tell somehow who might need a while to come to terms with the news.
Calls risk putting someone in a situation where they feel like they need to respond, and may not know how.
Texts are a rather impersonal way to communicate, unless you’ve developed a communication style with one of your siblings that would facilitate the use of texts to convey something meaningful.
Letters, on the other hand, allow you to express your thoughts openly, slowly, and clearly.
You can also express your love for your siblings and share everything you would want to in a face-to-face conversation, and allow them the chance to read it at their pace and contact you when they are ready to speak with you.Start the letter by sharing how important your family is to you, and that you always want their support.
Include statements like, “I’m writing to share a part of myself with you, because I value our relationship” and “More than anything, I always want to have your love your support, and you always have mine.” , If you’re with your siblings when you tell them, you want to be sure everyone understands what you’re saying.
More importantly, you want to convey a comfortable calmness.
Even if you feel understandably nervous, remaining calm will help your siblings stay calm as well.One option is to gather all of those you hope to speak with in a private place and explain that you want them to know something that means a great deal to you.
Explain simply that you feel your sexuality is a significant aspect of who you are and that you want to talk about it with them.
Again, be clear that you’re comfortable and content with your sexuality, as this may assuage some concerns that they may otherwise have.
Try something like, “I’m comfortable with my sexual orientation and I’m happier and more confident than I ever have been.
Of course, I still want you all to be a part of my life, and to maintain the love we share.” , We all need support in our lives, especially when we’re going through periods of increasing self-awareness and transformation.
Support from our siblings in particular is an incredibly significant source of our internal strength, our ability to connect with others, and our well-being in general.Tell your siblings you value the relationships you have with them, that they have your support, and that you hope to have their support as well.
Share any experiences of isolation you’ve felt, particularly on account of any of your family members’ behavior.
If your siblings are unable to provide you with emotional and other forms of support quite yet, find a community in which you can get the support you need. , You don’t know how the conversation will go ahead of time.
It may go better than expected, and you may wind up feeling relieved and ecstatic to have spoken with your siblings about something so important to you.
But some of your siblings may seem worried, angry, or even responsible.
They may need time and space to come to terms with what you’re telling them.As much as you’ve thought about your own sexuality, recognize that they may not have given it too much thought.
Know that feelings of shock, denial, and even guilt are common among family members encountering this sort of news.
While this is unfortunate, don’t be surprised if your siblings seem surprised at first.
Allow them to express their own feelings, and listen calmly and patiently to their responses.
Know that you may have to repeat yourself.
Sometimes people will deny, resist, or ignore your bisexuality.
You may even need to have a similar conversation again, perhaps after they’ve have a while to come to terms with what you already told them. , These may include some personal, and potentially even intimate questions.
Know that you don’t have to answer any question that makes you uncomfortable, but that your answers may help them come to terms with your bisexuality.
Your siblings may be curious or even confused about what your telling them.
They may have all sorts of questions about how you can be sure and what bisexuality is and more.
Be open and honest with them, but know that short, simple answers will usually suffice.
They may object to what you’re telling them.
Don’t try to reason them into accepting your identity.
If they’re resistant to the idea, you will not be able to reason with them.
It may be best to answer questions you aren’t sure how to answer by re-iterating that you only want their love.
Be explicit by saying things like “All I need from you is your love and support.”They may even be skeptical.
If you get the all-to-common “How do you know?”, feel free to answer simply by saying, “I just know!” -
Step 3: Speak slowly and calmly.
-
Step 4: Ask for your siblings’ support.
-
Step 5: Be patient.
-
Step 6: Anticipate questions that might come up.
Detailed Guide
There are plenty of ways you can go about sharing the information you’re hoping to convey to your siblings.
Your relationship with them, as well as any potential qualms on their part will factor into this decision.It may seem hard to bring up the conversation.
You can ease into a more serious conversation by saying something like, “There’s something important that I want to tell you because you mean a lot to me.” Also include some reassurance with a statement that indicates your comfort with you own bisexuality.
Say something like, “I’m happy and healthy!” Consider telling your siblings one at a time.
This route offers you the chance to take a different approach with each of the people you hope to share the news with.
For instance, you may have a sibling with whom a conversation in the car may work best, so as to facilitate a conversational dynamic in which eye contact isn’t as frequent as it may be face-to-face.
Be straightforward.
If your siblings may be unsure what you mean when you tell them you’re bisexual, follow up with “I’m attracted to both men and women.” Go for a walk.
Walking may be the very best way to have any sort of conversation with anyone.
The fresh air, the mobility, the privacy, and more all provide a comfortable context in which to share a meaningful, heartfelt conversation.
However you choose to tell your siblings, be sure to include something along the lines of “I love you, and I want us to have an honest, positive relationship.”
A face-to-face conversation may be too intense for either you or your siblings.
Some people will benefit from the distance and time allowed to digest the news, whereas a face-to-face conversation may lead to rash or overly emotional reactions.
Especially if you came from a home that was aggressively religious, culturally one-dimensional, or generally lacking in conversations about sex, notifying your siblings of your sexual orientation might initially upset them.
While texts and phone calls could work, writing a letter might be the best way to tell somehow who might need a while to come to terms with the news.
Calls risk putting someone in a situation where they feel like they need to respond, and may not know how.
Texts are a rather impersonal way to communicate, unless you’ve developed a communication style with one of your siblings that would facilitate the use of texts to convey something meaningful.
Letters, on the other hand, allow you to express your thoughts openly, slowly, and clearly.
You can also express your love for your siblings and share everything you would want to in a face-to-face conversation, and allow them the chance to read it at their pace and contact you when they are ready to speak with you.Start the letter by sharing how important your family is to you, and that you always want their support.
Include statements like, “I’m writing to share a part of myself with you, because I value our relationship” and “More than anything, I always want to have your love your support, and you always have mine.” , If you’re with your siblings when you tell them, you want to be sure everyone understands what you’re saying.
More importantly, you want to convey a comfortable calmness.
Even if you feel understandably nervous, remaining calm will help your siblings stay calm as well.One option is to gather all of those you hope to speak with in a private place and explain that you want them to know something that means a great deal to you.
Explain simply that you feel your sexuality is a significant aspect of who you are and that you want to talk about it with them.
Again, be clear that you’re comfortable and content with your sexuality, as this may assuage some concerns that they may otherwise have.
Try something like, “I’m comfortable with my sexual orientation and I’m happier and more confident than I ever have been.
Of course, I still want you all to be a part of my life, and to maintain the love we share.” , We all need support in our lives, especially when we’re going through periods of increasing self-awareness and transformation.
Support from our siblings in particular is an incredibly significant source of our internal strength, our ability to connect with others, and our well-being in general.Tell your siblings you value the relationships you have with them, that they have your support, and that you hope to have their support as well.
Share any experiences of isolation you’ve felt, particularly on account of any of your family members’ behavior.
If your siblings are unable to provide you with emotional and other forms of support quite yet, find a community in which you can get the support you need. , You don’t know how the conversation will go ahead of time.
It may go better than expected, and you may wind up feeling relieved and ecstatic to have spoken with your siblings about something so important to you.
But some of your siblings may seem worried, angry, or even responsible.
They may need time and space to come to terms with what you’re telling them.As much as you’ve thought about your own sexuality, recognize that they may not have given it too much thought.
Know that feelings of shock, denial, and even guilt are common among family members encountering this sort of news.
While this is unfortunate, don’t be surprised if your siblings seem surprised at first.
Allow them to express their own feelings, and listen calmly and patiently to their responses.
Know that you may have to repeat yourself.
Sometimes people will deny, resist, or ignore your bisexuality.
You may even need to have a similar conversation again, perhaps after they’ve have a while to come to terms with what you already told them. , These may include some personal, and potentially even intimate questions.
Know that you don’t have to answer any question that makes you uncomfortable, but that your answers may help them come to terms with your bisexuality.
Your siblings may be curious or even confused about what your telling them.
They may have all sorts of questions about how you can be sure and what bisexuality is and more.
Be open and honest with them, but know that short, simple answers will usually suffice.
They may object to what you’re telling them.
Don’t try to reason them into accepting your identity.
If they’re resistant to the idea, you will not be able to reason with them.
It may be best to answer questions you aren’t sure how to answer by re-iterating that you only want their love.
Be explicit by saying things like “All I need from you is your love and support.”They may even be skeptical.
If you get the all-to-common “How do you know?”, feel free to answer simply by saying, “I just know!”
About the Author
Shirley Jenkins
With a background in realestate, Shirley Jenkins brings 5 years of hands-on experience to every article. Shirley believes in making complex topics accessible to everyone.
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