How to Handle Conversations About Dieting when You Cannot Relate
Validate their thoughts and feelings., Focus on how the person feels on not the diet itself. , Ask questions., Respond honestly., Support their goals., Bring diet-friendly food to functions., Speak sensitively., Use “I” statements., Remain neutral...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Validate their thoughts and feelings.
You may not be able to relate to dieting, but you might relate to how the person feels.
Show your understanding and care by validating a person’s thoughts, feelings, or struggles.
Reflect your understanding of what the person said.
For example, say, “I can tell you feel passionate about being vegetarian."
, If dieting is a common topic of discussion, use these conversations as a way to learn more about other people’s eating habits.
If someone always tracks proteins, ask them about it.
Ask about the person’s diet, why they follow it, and what benefits they notice.
Often, it’s easier to join a discussion if you become curious about the subject.Ask why they chose their specific diet.
For example, are they eating for ethical reasons, for the health benefits, or is it for weight loss? Even if you don’t start out interested in the diet, you may learn more and become interested. , If people are talking about dieting, counting calories, or other eating habits, contribute to your own preference.
If people are talking about the paleo diet, say, “I’m not familiar with that diet, but I’m vegan, so I know it can be hard.” If someone is talking about counting calories, say, “I don’t know much about that.”Remember that it is alright to not know much about a topic.
Ask the person with whom you're speaking to explain it to you, and try to listen carefully so that you can better understand them.
If people are talking about their approaches to food and eating, include yours.
For example, you can say, “I don’t restrict my calories, but I do follow a vegetarian diet.” , Even if you are not interested in changing your diet, support the person in their own diet changes.
For example, if someone you know has to transition to a diabetic diet, support them in their transition.
Encourage them if they’re struggling to feel normal at potlucks or if they want to eat food they cannot.
Support their choices to avoid pitfalls and encourage them to stay the course.Say, “I know this transition has been hard for you, but I’ve noticed you’ve really kept up with your food substitutions.
I can tell you’re putting a lot of effort into this.” You can also show support by sticking up for someone when others give them a hard time about their diet.
Let the person know, "I think it takes a lot of dedication and strength to commit to your personal health and well-being like this."
Whether it’s a work function or a family get-together, be mindful of those who have different diets than your own.
While this can become overwhelming when one person is gluten-free, another avoids fat, and still another has food allergies, do the best that you can.
Bringing foods specially made shows that you care and are thinking about someone who might feel different when eating in a group.
Talk about the food with those on a diet.
Say, “I know you talk about being gluten-free, so I made sure not to include anything with gluten in what I brought to the picnic.” , Many people struggle with disordered eating.
If you suspect you’re speaking with someone with an eating disorder, be respectful and sensitive.
For example, you might avoid speaking about weight loss or how great someone looks now that they’ve lost weight.
Avoid evaluations of foods or bodies and focus on food nutrition or taste.
If a friend is struggling with an eating disorder, show your concern and care for them.
If the person is in denial, restate your concerns and leave yourself open to being a supportive listener.Stay away from simple solutions such as, “You should just eat more” or, “You’ll feel better once you start being more healthy.” Instead, the most helpful thing to do is to encourage them to get professional help. , If someone loves to talk about how extreme their diet is and how hard it is to follow, you may begin to feel concerned for them.
If you’re concerned for their health and you want to say something, stay away from blaming or judging them.
Keep things from your perspective only by using “I” statements instead of “you” statements.
Instead of saying, “You shouldn’t do that, it sounds like it’s harming your body” say, “I’m concerned about that diet since it doesn’t appear to leave you feeling well.” Say, “Seeing you so exhausted makes me feel sad and nervous for you” or, “I’m concerned about you.”Stay clear from giving advice.
Instead, encourage the person to seek treatment.
Ask them, "Have you ever thought about talking to someone just to make sure you're doing things in the healthiest way for you?"
Some people may try to convert you to their latest diet craze or may be so enthusiastic about whatever they’re trying that they want to share it with you.
Recognize that some people approach dieting enthusiastically, and neither they nor you will convert the other.You might disagree with their choices, but remain neutral in your interactions.
If they get pushy, say, “I’m glad that works for you, but I’m not choosing to follow that diet.” If you feel like someone is trying to “convert” you, respond neutrally.
Say, “That’s interesting” or, “I can tell you feel really passionately about this.” , Whether someone brings up losing weight, gaining weight, or staying the same weight, don’t include yourself in this conversation if you feel uncomfortable.
Even if the person is proud of the pounds they have lost, refrain from any congratulatory talk.
After all, this can hurt much more if the weight comes back on.Compliment something other than their weight.
For example, compliment their outfit or their group presentation or their musical abilities.
You can also compliment their ability to set and pursue goals related to living a healthier lifestyle -
Step 2: Focus on how the person feels on not the diet itself.
-
Step 3: Ask questions.
-
Step 4: Respond honestly.
-
Step 5: Support their goals.
-
Step 6: Bring diet-friendly food to functions.
-
Step 7: Speak sensitively.
-
Step 8: Use “I” statements.
-
Step 9: Remain neutral on diets you don’t agree with.
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Step 10: Avoid talks about weight.
Detailed Guide
You may not be able to relate to dieting, but you might relate to how the person feels.
Show your understanding and care by validating a person’s thoughts, feelings, or struggles.
Reflect your understanding of what the person said.
For example, say, “I can tell you feel passionate about being vegetarian."
, If dieting is a common topic of discussion, use these conversations as a way to learn more about other people’s eating habits.
If someone always tracks proteins, ask them about it.
Ask about the person’s diet, why they follow it, and what benefits they notice.
Often, it’s easier to join a discussion if you become curious about the subject.Ask why they chose their specific diet.
For example, are they eating for ethical reasons, for the health benefits, or is it for weight loss? Even if you don’t start out interested in the diet, you may learn more and become interested. , If people are talking about dieting, counting calories, or other eating habits, contribute to your own preference.
If people are talking about the paleo diet, say, “I’m not familiar with that diet, but I’m vegan, so I know it can be hard.” If someone is talking about counting calories, say, “I don’t know much about that.”Remember that it is alright to not know much about a topic.
Ask the person with whom you're speaking to explain it to you, and try to listen carefully so that you can better understand them.
If people are talking about their approaches to food and eating, include yours.
For example, you can say, “I don’t restrict my calories, but I do follow a vegetarian diet.” , Even if you are not interested in changing your diet, support the person in their own diet changes.
For example, if someone you know has to transition to a diabetic diet, support them in their transition.
Encourage them if they’re struggling to feel normal at potlucks or if they want to eat food they cannot.
Support their choices to avoid pitfalls and encourage them to stay the course.Say, “I know this transition has been hard for you, but I’ve noticed you’ve really kept up with your food substitutions.
I can tell you’re putting a lot of effort into this.” You can also show support by sticking up for someone when others give them a hard time about their diet.
Let the person know, "I think it takes a lot of dedication and strength to commit to your personal health and well-being like this."
Whether it’s a work function or a family get-together, be mindful of those who have different diets than your own.
While this can become overwhelming when one person is gluten-free, another avoids fat, and still another has food allergies, do the best that you can.
Bringing foods specially made shows that you care and are thinking about someone who might feel different when eating in a group.
Talk about the food with those on a diet.
Say, “I know you talk about being gluten-free, so I made sure not to include anything with gluten in what I brought to the picnic.” , Many people struggle with disordered eating.
If you suspect you’re speaking with someone with an eating disorder, be respectful and sensitive.
For example, you might avoid speaking about weight loss or how great someone looks now that they’ve lost weight.
Avoid evaluations of foods or bodies and focus on food nutrition or taste.
If a friend is struggling with an eating disorder, show your concern and care for them.
If the person is in denial, restate your concerns and leave yourself open to being a supportive listener.Stay away from simple solutions such as, “You should just eat more” or, “You’ll feel better once you start being more healthy.” Instead, the most helpful thing to do is to encourage them to get professional help. , If someone loves to talk about how extreme their diet is and how hard it is to follow, you may begin to feel concerned for them.
If you’re concerned for their health and you want to say something, stay away from blaming or judging them.
Keep things from your perspective only by using “I” statements instead of “you” statements.
Instead of saying, “You shouldn’t do that, it sounds like it’s harming your body” say, “I’m concerned about that diet since it doesn’t appear to leave you feeling well.” Say, “Seeing you so exhausted makes me feel sad and nervous for you” or, “I’m concerned about you.”Stay clear from giving advice.
Instead, encourage the person to seek treatment.
Ask them, "Have you ever thought about talking to someone just to make sure you're doing things in the healthiest way for you?"
Some people may try to convert you to their latest diet craze or may be so enthusiastic about whatever they’re trying that they want to share it with you.
Recognize that some people approach dieting enthusiastically, and neither they nor you will convert the other.You might disagree with their choices, but remain neutral in your interactions.
If they get pushy, say, “I’m glad that works for you, but I’m not choosing to follow that diet.” If you feel like someone is trying to “convert” you, respond neutrally.
Say, “That’s interesting” or, “I can tell you feel really passionately about this.” , Whether someone brings up losing weight, gaining weight, or staying the same weight, don’t include yourself in this conversation if you feel uncomfortable.
Even if the person is proud of the pounds they have lost, refrain from any congratulatory talk.
After all, this can hurt much more if the weight comes back on.Compliment something other than their weight.
For example, compliment their outfit or their group presentation or their musical abilities.
You can also compliment their ability to set and pursue goals related to living a healthier lifestyle
About the Author
Laura Armstrong
Specializes in breaking down complex lifestyle topics into simple steps.
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