How to Avoid Getting Beat Up by a Bully
Watch your back., Avoid the bully., Make eye contact., Speak confidently with intimidating people., Change the subject., Persuade with words., Attempt to leave., Tell a responsible adult., Get into a fighting stance., Don't lie about your prowess...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Watch your back.
Be aware of your surroundings and the people you are with.
Bullies typically have friends following them or rely on bystanders (people who do not tell the bully to stop).
Place yourself around friends who care about you and support you.
If necessary, ask them to protect you.
If you ever feel unsafe you should tell a responsible adult about it. -
Step 2: Avoid the bully.
If you are not near the bully, you will not become a victim.
Many bullies rely on setting up their victims for embarrassment.
Be mindful of what you are doing when near a bully so the behavior does not repeat itself.
If a bully seeks you out, you should tell a responsible adult like parents or teachers about it. , Eye contact is more powerful than any speech or stance.
Don't shift your gaze down or look around as if afraid. (Looking away is like an invitation to get hit.) Look straight at a bully or—if it's too difficult—focus on their eyebrows.
Make the bully see you as an equal by communicating to the soul of the bully what is happening is not fun, not good, not acceptable.
It is natural to feel fear or have tears.
Most bullies respect the real courage that comes with eye contact. , Don't be timid or whiny.
Speak assertively or with assurance.
Practice this skill in the mirror.
Sometimes it helps to be loud and firm.
Use assertive body language, looking them in the eyes.
If you can't shake the bully, you might be able to convince the people watching not to be bystanders. , Discharge and redirect the tension that's feeding a potential fight by changing the subject to something else.
You might crack a non-threatening joke.
The best thing is to ask a question.
Try to keep it relevant to your interactions; you don’t want your tactic to appear too obvious.
Afterwards, tell a responsible adult what happened. , Some bullies can be talked down from a fight.
Say something that might make them think that you're not worth the effort, like “Why are you picking on me?” You might appeal to their ego to avoid fisticuffs: “Everyone knows you’ll beat me easily if we fight.” If all else fails ask "What do you want?" and finish with "I don't want to fight you." Remember to be assertive and make lots of eye contact.
If they don't seem to listen, you need to walk away. (Be prepared to defend yourself if necessary.) Make sure to tell a responsible adult about it. , Walk away from the situation with as much calm as you can muster.
Most bullies are playing to an audience and it is in your best interests to get them to sympathize for you.
If the bully pushes or corners you in an attempt to provoke you to fight, then make escape your top priority.
Sometimes it helps to back away so you are always facing the bully.
Don’t let a crowd keep you confined; tell them assertively (the louder the better) to let you leave.
Be sure to tell a responsible adult about the situation. , After ANY experience with a bully you should tell a trustworthy adult like a parent or teacher.
It is their job to make sure you are safe.
Most of the time it will be your role to stand up for yourself, and responsible adults will give you good advice or help you strategize about your problem.
It is important that you establish early on what is happening in case it escalates into something serious.
A bully has to answer to someone in authority over them.
You'll come to know how different teachers or other people in authority react to bullying situations.
Their attitudes vary, so don't look to just one in particular, especially if they seem too busy.
Of course, make sure your situation is genuine.
It is natural for people in authority to be fair and impartial at first.
If after two serious events (such as a fight, real threat, or severe humiliation) they do nothing to prevent or reconcile the bullying, explain everything to another responsible adult. , When a fight seems imminent, body language is your best weapon! Don’t overact the role and appear silly.
Tell the bully you are not joking or playing.
If you appear serious in defending yourself, the bully will think twice about fighting or physically harassing you.
More importantly, at this point bystanders should be watching and hopefully realize the bully is being mean.
Look the bully in the face.
Focus on how the bully moves and adjust your position confidently.
You are essentially committing yourself to fighting so be prepared to give one! Even if you don’t exchange blows, tell a responsible adult afterwards. , Exaggerating how strong or fast or tough you are is an invitation to fight for any bully.
Stand your ground, face the bully, and let them make the first move.
Sometimes the unknown is just enough to shake a bully's confidence.
Maybe just enough. , Act like you are going to enjoy what is about to happen, though more than likely it will be the opposite.
Usually, if you look at a bully and smile, s/he will think something is up.
It is an easy way to start to psyche him/her out and may be that little extra nudge to dissuade.
And if the bully asks why you are smiling don't say anything; keep smiling and just relish in the thought that the bully is now a little scared. , If you are forced into a confrontation and feel that a fight is going to happen, as a last resort there are several things you can do to protect yourself:
Put your hands up by your face, like a boxer.
This will protect you, especially the nose and eyes.
Good sight is important in a fight, obviously.
Always return to this “ready” position.
Tighten your stomach in case the bully tries to punch you there.
Turn a little sideways so your body is not as big a target. , Your life is not set in a movie.
Fighting will undoubtedly get you into trouble with parents or the authorities.
You should also think about how the bully’s friends will react to you afterwards.
Fighting people in real life has consequences.
Don't get involved in something you aren't ready to justify adequately.
You might be expected to apologize later to the jerk. , If fighting is imminent with a bully, act and fight like you've got nothing to lose! You do this only to prevent future bullying, not for revenge.
A few fast and hard punches to the stomach or the face should be plenty to stop a bully.
Sometimes all you have to do is knock a bully down to the ground.
Be sure to do it in a public place with witnesses.
Even if you get embarrassed or beat up, in the end you’ll have proof you need for the bully to eventually get punished and your problem solved.
Don’t dare to forget to tell your parents you were in a fight. -
Step 3: Make eye contact.
-
Step 4: Speak confidently with intimidating people.
-
Step 5: Change the subject.
-
Step 6: Persuade with words.
-
Step 7: Attempt to leave.
-
Step 8: Tell a responsible adult.
-
Step 9: Get into a fighting stance.
-
Step 10: Don't lie about your prowess.
-
Step 11: Smile.
-
Step 12: Brace yourself.
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Step 13: Think about consequences.
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Step 14: Defend yourself.
Detailed Guide
Be aware of your surroundings and the people you are with.
Bullies typically have friends following them or rely on bystanders (people who do not tell the bully to stop).
Place yourself around friends who care about you and support you.
If necessary, ask them to protect you.
If you ever feel unsafe you should tell a responsible adult about it.
If you are not near the bully, you will not become a victim.
Many bullies rely on setting up their victims for embarrassment.
Be mindful of what you are doing when near a bully so the behavior does not repeat itself.
If a bully seeks you out, you should tell a responsible adult like parents or teachers about it. , Eye contact is more powerful than any speech or stance.
Don't shift your gaze down or look around as if afraid. (Looking away is like an invitation to get hit.) Look straight at a bully or—if it's too difficult—focus on their eyebrows.
Make the bully see you as an equal by communicating to the soul of the bully what is happening is not fun, not good, not acceptable.
It is natural to feel fear or have tears.
Most bullies respect the real courage that comes with eye contact. , Don't be timid or whiny.
Speak assertively or with assurance.
Practice this skill in the mirror.
Sometimes it helps to be loud and firm.
Use assertive body language, looking them in the eyes.
If you can't shake the bully, you might be able to convince the people watching not to be bystanders. , Discharge and redirect the tension that's feeding a potential fight by changing the subject to something else.
You might crack a non-threatening joke.
The best thing is to ask a question.
Try to keep it relevant to your interactions; you don’t want your tactic to appear too obvious.
Afterwards, tell a responsible adult what happened. , Some bullies can be talked down from a fight.
Say something that might make them think that you're not worth the effort, like “Why are you picking on me?” You might appeal to their ego to avoid fisticuffs: “Everyone knows you’ll beat me easily if we fight.” If all else fails ask "What do you want?" and finish with "I don't want to fight you." Remember to be assertive and make lots of eye contact.
If they don't seem to listen, you need to walk away. (Be prepared to defend yourself if necessary.) Make sure to tell a responsible adult about it. , Walk away from the situation with as much calm as you can muster.
Most bullies are playing to an audience and it is in your best interests to get them to sympathize for you.
If the bully pushes or corners you in an attempt to provoke you to fight, then make escape your top priority.
Sometimes it helps to back away so you are always facing the bully.
Don’t let a crowd keep you confined; tell them assertively (the louder the better) to let you leave.
Be sure to tell a responsible adult about the situation. , After ANY experience with a bully you should tell a trustworthy adult like a parent or teacher.
It is their job to make sure you are safe.
Most of the time it will be your role to stand up for yourself, and responsible adults will give you good advice or help you strategize about your problem.
It is important that you establish early on what is happening in case it escalates into something serious.
A bully has to answer to someone in authority over them.
You'll come to know how different teachers or other people in authority react to bullying situations.
Their attitudes vary, so don't look to just one in particular, especially if they seem too busy.
Of course, make sure your situation is genuine.
It is natural for people in authority to be fair and impartial at first.
If after two serious events (such as a fight, real threat, or severe humiliation) they do nothing to prevent or reconcile the bullying, explain everything to another responsible adult. , When a fight seems imminent, body language is your best weapon! Don’t overact the role and appear silly.
Tell the bully you are not joking or playing.
If you appear serious in defending yourself, the bully will think twice about fighting or physically harassing you.
More importantly, at this point bystanders should be watching and hopefully realize the bully is being mean.
Look the bully in the face.
Focus on how the bully moves and adjust your position confidently.
You are essentially committing yourself to fighting so be prepared to give one! Even if you don’t exchange blows, tell a responsible adult afterwards. , Exaggerating how strong or fast or tough you are is an invitation to fight for any bully.
Stand your ground, face the bully, and let them make the first move.
Sometimes the unknown is just enough to shake a bully's confidence.
Maybe just enough. , Act like you are going to enjoy what is about to happen, though more than likely it will be the opposite.
Usually, if you look at a bully and smile, s/he will think something is up.
It is an easy way to start to psyche him/her out and may be that little extra nudge to dissuade.
And if the bully asks why you are smiling don't say anything; keep smiling and just relish in the thought that the bully is now a little scared. , If you are forced into a confrontation and feel that a fight is going to happen, as a last resort there are several things you can do to protect yourself:
Put your hands up by your face, like a boxer.
This will protect you, especially the nose and eyes.
Good sight is important in a fight, obviously.
Always return to this “ready” position.
Tighten your stomach in case the bully tries to punch you there.
Turn a little sideways so your body is not as big a target. , Your life is not set in a movie.
Fighting will undoubtedly get you into trouble with parents or the authorities.
You should also think about how the bully’s friends will react to you afterwards.
Fighting people in real life has consequences.
Don't get involved in something you aren't ready to justify adequately.
You might be expected to apologize later to the jerk. , If fighting is imminent with a bully, act and fight like you've got nothing to lose! You do this only to prevent future bullying, not for revenge.
A few fast and hard punches to the stomach or the face should be plenty to stop a bully.
Sometimes all you have to do is knock a bully down to the ground.
Be sure to do it in a public place with witnesses.
Even if you get embarrassed or beat up, in the end you’ll have proof you need for the bully to eventually get punished and your problem solved.
Don’t dare to forget to tell your parents you were in a fight.
About the Author
Judith Moore
Writer and educator with a focus on practical DIY projects knowledge.
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