How to Act Around Someone You Do Not Like
Evaluate your dislike., Take a breath., Disconnect yourself., Stay neutral., Resolve your dislike.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Evaluate your dislike.
Understanding where your dislike of the person comes from can help you avoid specific situations that may exacerbate your feelings.
Ask yourself both, “What do I dislike about this person?” and “Why do those traits or behaviors bother me?”Consider whether those traits truly impact you.
For example, if you find a coworker or peer to be arrogant, think about whether their attitude truly has a negative impact on you.
Do they take credit for your work, for example? Or do they simply have trait you do not like? Make a concerted effort to not focus on traits that do not have a direct impact on you.
Remind yourself, “This person’s actions do not have any impact on me and it is not worth my time to negatively focus on them.” -
Step 2: Take a breath.
Calm yourself by taking a deep breath and refocusing your attention away from that individual.
Breathe in slowly for a count of three, hold your breath for two seconds, and breathe out for another three count.As you breathe, focus your attention back on your own goals and challenges for the day, and let that other person slip from your thoughts.
Repeat the cycle as necessary throughout the day to help you keep calm. , Do not sacrifice professional or academic priorities to avoid this person.
However when the situation doesn’t necessitate interaction, keep calm by simply disconnecting from the conversation.
You may opt to not pick up the phone or respond to that person’s email or text message at that time.
Do make an effort to respond eventually when you have a clear head.
If you must interact with this person on occasion, it is best to be polite.
Do not lie or make excuses about why you waited to respond.
Simply say, “I apologize that it took me so long to respond,” and continue with your message. , When you dislike someone, it can be easy to further upset yourself by trying to find things to dislike about the person.
Remind yourself that you have the option to stay neutral regarding that person’s actions or decisions.
Do not let your dislike turn into a grudge.
When you find yourself looking for more reasons to dislike this person, remind yourself that it is alright to not connect with someone, but it only hurts you to find other things that bother you. , Keep your calm in the long term by simply addressing what you dislike directly if you think it can be resolved.
If you dislike someone because they treated you poorly at some point, for example, let them know, "I would like to talk about this situation so that we can put it behind us." When you speak with this person, try to avoid accusing them or casting blame.
Instead, stick to statements regarding facts and your own feelings.
Rather than saying, "You tried to hurt me down by asking me to leave," let them know, "It was hurtful when you asked me to leave because I was excited about this activity, as well." Allow the other person to share their thoughts and feelings on the situation as well.
Understand that your perception of the situation might not reflect their perception or intentions.
Leave your mind open to hearing their side of the story, as well.
Agree upon a resolution.
Perhaps you want to be friends now.
Perhaps you don't want to socialize, but you will agree to stop saying hurtful things about one another.
Find a solution that works for you and the other person, and agree on it once you feel you have addressed the underlying issue. -
Step 3: Disconnect yourself.
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Step 4: Stay neutral.
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Step 5: Resolve your dislike.
Detailed Guide
Understanding where your dislike of the person comes from can help you avoid specific situations that may exacerbate your feelings.
Ask yourself both, “What do I dislike about this person?” and “Why do those traits or behaviors bother me?”Consider whether those traits truly impact you.
For example, if you find a coworker or peer to be arrogant, think about whether their attitude truly has a negative impact on you.
Do they take credit for your work, for example? Or do they simply have trait you do not like? Make a concerted effort to not focus on traits that do not have a direct impact on you.
Remind yourself, “This person’s actions do not have any impact on me and it is not worth my time to negatively focus on them.”
Calm yourself by taking a deep breath and refocusing your attention away from that individual.
Breathe in slowly for a count of three, hold your breath for two seconds, and breathe out for another three count.As you breathe, focus your attention back on your own goals and challenges for the day, and let that other person slip from your thoughts.
Repeat the cycle as necessary throughout the day to help you keep calm. , Do not sacrifice professional or academic priorities to avoid this person.
However when the situation doesn’t necessitate interaction, keep calm by simply disconnecting from the conversation.
You may opt to not pick up the phone or respond to that person’s email or text message at that time.
Do make an effort to respond eventually when you have a clear head.
If you must interact with this person on occasion, it is best to be polite.
Do not lie or make excuses about why you waited to respond.
Simply say, “I apologize that it took me so long to respond,” and continue with your message. , When you dislike someone, it can be easy to further upset yourself by trying to find things to dislike about the person.
Remind yourself that you have the option to stay neutral regarding that person’s actions or decisions.
Do not let your dislike turn into a grudge.
When you find yourself looking for more reasons to dislike this person, remind yourself that it is alright to not connect with someone, but it only hurts you to find other things that bother you. , Keep your calm in the long term by simply addressing what you dislike directly if you think it can be resolved.
If you dislike someone because they treated you poorly at some point, for example, let them know, "I would like to talk about this situation so that we can put it behind us." When you speak with this person, try to avoid accusing them or casting blame.
Instead, stick to statements regarding facts and your own feelings.
Rather than saying, "You tried to hurt me down by asking me to leave," let them know, "It was hurtful when you asked me to leave because I was excited about this activity, as well." Allow the other person to share their thoughts and feelings on the situation as well.
Understand that your perception of the situation might not reflect their perception or intentions.
Leave your mind open to hearing their side of the story, as well.
Agree upon a resolution.
Perhaps you want to be friends now.
Perhaps you don't want to socialize, but you will agree to stop saying hurtful things about one another.
Find a solution that works for you and the other person, and agree on it once you feel you have addressed the underlying issue.
About the Author
Peter Jimenez
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow lifestyle tutorials.
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