How to Adjust
Allow yourself to feel upset., Release your expectations., Get to know your new place., Be prepared for culture shock., Maintain contact with your old life., Get exercise., Learn to be by yourself., Give yourself time.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Allow yourself to feel upset.
You won't be doing yourself any favors by trying to avoid the feelings moving is going to bring up.
You're probably excited, anxious, stressed out, sad to leave your old life behind.
All of these are natural and okay!Take a time-out when everything gets to be too much.
This can be something as simple as 15 minutes in a quiet room in a coffee shop, or sitting on a park bench.
When you're reminded of your old life don't push those feelings away.
Take the time to sit with them even if it means crying.
Working through your emotions will allow you to have a better time in your new place of residence. -
Step 2: Release your expectations.
You have ideas about what you want your new life to be like.
Chances are that isn't how your new life is going be.
That doesn't mean that your new life is bad or wrong.
You'll have to let go of your expectations and let it be what it's going to be.Be present.
Instead of planning how you're going to make the future better, or remembering how good the past was, revel in each moment you're experiencing in your new place.
Soon this will all be so familiar you won't even notice it.
Enjoy the fact that you're seeing new things and new places.
This new place and life is going to be different from the old one.
You can't recreate what you had.
When you find yourself comparing the new place to the old one stop! Remind yourself that things are different and different doesn't necessarily mean bad.
Give the new place a chance to be good for you.
Remember you probably won't fit in immediately.
It will take time to find people who could be your friends.
It will take time to learn the new area, to learn the new customs.
It will take time to find your new favorite bakery, your new bookstore, your new gym. , One part of adjusting to a new place is actually getting to know it.
If you stay holed up in your house or apartment thinking about the past you aren't going to make new friends and find new ways of being.
Get out there! Join an organization that you enjoy.
This could be anything from a library book club, to volunteering for a group you support.
Religious organizations are great places to find a new community if you are religious.
Otherwise political organizations, or artistic groups (like singing groups, knitting circles, quilting circles, scrapbookers, etc.) are good bets.
Go out with your work colleagues.
If you've moved to a new place because of a new job, ask your work colleagues where the best going-out places are, and invite them to go out with you.
Even if you don't build lasting friendships you never know who you'll meet or be introduced to.
Talk to people.
Make small talk with the check-out person at the grocery store, that person waiting at the bus stop with you, the librarian behind the counter, the barista at the coffee shop.
You'll get to know a bit about the place you live in and you'll start meeting people and getting comfortable with your surroundings. , Even if you're moving between cities it's going to be different.
This is an even more true if you're moving to a new country, across your country, from the town to the city and vice versa.
Places are simply different and you have to be prepared for that.
Try to match your pace to that of your new environment.
For example, if you've just moved from a big city to a small town you'll find that the pace of life and what people are about are much different.
Sometimes it can even seem like the people in your new place speak a completely different language (even if it's the same as your own!).
This can require learning a new lingo, new abbreviations, and new little quirks of language.
Be prepared to make mistakes and ask for clarification. , Just because you have a new life that you're learning to live doesn't mean you should completely cut off the old one.
At first it might cause feelings of sadness, nostalgia, and regret, but connections to your old life can also help bolster you in the new times.
Use technology to keep in touch.
You live in an era when it is so much easier to maintain contact with people in far away places.
Text, use social media, Skype, etc. to keep up with your old friends and family.
Getting a nice message from a friend can help alleviate feelings of loneliness you will inevitably experience in a new place.
Don't let your old life overwhelm your new one, however.
If you spend all your time looking backwards, talking only with old friends and family, you're going to miss out on your new life and the new friends you'll meet.
This is why it is so important to reach out to people in your new place. , Not only is this a good way to keep your health and your brain happy (with all those lovely endorphins), it is also a good way to get to know your town and to meet people.
Go for walks.
Pick a new area to explore so that you start to get a feel for your new living area.
Join an exercise group.
Find people who want to go for jogs in the morning, or join a yoga class.
You'll start to get to know people. , One key part of being okay with the move is learning to be alone.
No matter how friendly you are, how many groups you join, and places you go, you're going to find yourself alone and lonely at times.
This is okay! It won't last forever.Don't be dependent on other people for validation and support. , It takes time to adjust to anything, and that includes moving.
You will find yourself feeling stressed and nostalgic and lonely at different times.
That's perfectly normal.
There's a timeline of getting acclimatized to your new space which can help:
The very first phase of moving is usually called the honeymoon phase.
It's when everything seems so new and exciting and different (also scary, sometimes).
This typically lasts about three months.
Following the honeymoon stage is the negotiation stage, when you start to really see the differences between your new place and your old home.
This is often when feelings of uncertainty, loneliness, and homesickness start to intrude.
While this usually follows after the honeymoon phase, sometimes you start right into this one.
The next stage tends to be the adjustment phase, which happens after about six to twelve months in your new place.
This is when you've developed your new routines and you're feeling a bit more at home.
Typically it takes until a year after the move to reach the mastery phase, when you feel more comfortable in your new home.
Sometimes, however, it can take even longer.
Remember, each person is different. -
Step 3: Get to know your new place.
-
Step 4: Be prepared for culture shock.
-
Step 5: Maintain contact with your old life.
-
Step 6: Get exercise.
-
Step 7: Learn to be by yourself.
-
Step 8: Give yourself time.
Detailed Guide
You won't be doing yourself any favors by trying to avoid the feelings moving is going to bring up.
You're probably excited, anxious, stressed out, sad to leave your old life behind.
All of these are natural and okay!Take a time-out when everything gets to be too much.
This can be something as simple as 15 minutes in a quiet room in a coffee shop, or sitting on a park bench.
When you're reminded of your old life don't push those feelings away.
Take the time to sit with them even if it means crying.
Working through your emotions will allow you to have a better time in your new place of residence.
You have ideas about what you want your new life to be like.
Chances are that isn't how your new life is going be.
That doesn't mean that your new life is bad or wrong.
You'll have to let go of your expectations and let it be what it's going to be.Be present.
Instead of planning how you're going to make the future better, or remembering how good the past was, revel in each moment you're experiencing in your new place.
Soon this will all be so familiar you won't even notice it.
Enjoy the fact that you're seeing new things and new places.
This new place and life is going to be different from the old one.
You can't recreate what you had.
When you find yourself comparing the new place to the old one stop! Remind yourself that things are different and different doesn't necessarily mean bad.
Give the new place a chance to be good for you.
Remember you probably won't fit in immediately.
It will take time to find people who could be your friends.
It will take time to learn the new area, to learn the new customs.
It will take time to find your new favorite bakery, your new bookstore, your new gym. , One part of adjusting to a new place is actually getting to know it.
If you stay holed up in your house or apartment thinking about the past you aren't going to make new friends and find new ways of being.
Get out there! Join an organization that you enjoy.
This could be anything from a library book club, to volunteering for a group you support.
Religious organizations are great places to find a new community if you are religious.
Otherwise political organizations, or artistic groups (like singing groups, knitting circles, quilting circles, scrapbookers, etc.) are good bets.
Go out with your work colleagues.
If you've moved to a new place because of a new job, ask your work colleagues where the best going-out places are, and invite them to go out with you.
Even if you don't build lasting friendships you never know who you'll meet or be introduced to.
Talk to people.
Make small talk with the check-out person at the grocery store, that person waiting at the bus stop with you, the librarian behind the counter, the barista at the coffee shop.
You'll get to know a bit about the place you live in and you'll start meeting people and getting comfortable with your surroundings. , Even if you're moving between cities it's going to be different.
This is an even more true if you're moving to a new country, across your country, from the town to the city and vice versa.
Places are simply different and you have to be prepared for that.
Try to match your pace to that of your new environment.
For example, if you've just moved from a big city to a small town you'll find that the pace of life and what people are about are much different.
Sometimes it can even seem like the people in your new place speak a completely different language (even if it's the same as your own!).
This can require learning a new lingo, new abbreviations, and new little quirks of language.
Be prepared to make mistakes and ask for clarification. , Just because you have a new life that you're learning to live doesn't mean you should completely cut off the old one.
At first it might cause feelings of sadness, nostalgia, and regret, but connections to your old life can also help bolster you in the new times.
Use technology to keep in touch.
You live in an era when it is so much easier to maintain contact with people in far away places.
Text, use social media, Skype, etc. to keep up with your old friends and family.
Getting a nice message from a friend can help alleviate feelings of loneliness you will inevitably experience in a new place.
Don't let your old life overwhelm your new one, however.
If you spend all your time looking backwards, talking only with old friends and family, you're going to miss out on your new life and the new friends you'll meet.
This is why it is so important to reach out to people in your new place. , Not only is this a good way to keep your health and your brain happy (with all those lovely endorphins), it is also a good way to get to know your town and to meet people.
Go for walks.
Pick a new area to explore so that you start to get a feel for your new living area.
Join an exercise group.
Find people who want to go for jogs in the morning, or join a yoga class.
You'll start to get to know people. , One key part of being okay with the move is learning to be alone.
No matter how friendly you are, how many groups you join, and places you go, you're going to find yourself alone and lonely at times.
This is okay! It won't last forever.Don't be dependent on other people for validation and support. , It takes time to adjust to anything, and that includes moving.
You will find yourself feeling stressed and nostalgic and lonely at different times.
That's perfectly normal.
There's a timeline of getting acclimatized to your new space which can help:
The very first phase of moving is usually called the honeymoon phase.
It's when everything seems so new and exciting and different (also scary, sometimes).
This typically lasts about three months.
Following the honeymoon stage is the negotiation stage, when you start to really see the differences between your new place and your old home.
This is often when feelings of uncertainty, loneliness, and homesickness start to intrude.
While this usually follows after the honeymoon phase, sometimes you start right into this one.
The next stage tends to be the adjustment phase, which happens after about six to twelve months in your new place.
This is when you've developed your new routines and you're feeling a bit more at home.
Typically it takes until a year after the move to reach the mastery phase, when you feel more comfortable in your new home.
Sometimes, however, it can take even longer.
Remember, each person is different.
About the Author
Michelle Watson
A passionate writer with expertise in lifestyle topics. Loves sharing practical knowledge.
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