How to Attend the Wake of Someone You Didn't Know Well

Step-by-Step Guide

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   Step 1: Dress appropriately.

   You don't have to wear black, but this isn't the time to wear the wildest, brightest thing you own.
   
   Blacks, greys, browns, tans, and muted blues are all acceptable.
   
   Bits of white are okay if you can't avoid them.
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   Step 2: Buy a sympathy card.

   These can be found in drugstores, card shops, and gift shops.
   
   You can also buy a blank card to write a message of sympathy to the bereaved, and you can write a small note of a funny time you enjoyed with the deceased. , While not required, it is a nice gesture and will be greatly appreciated by the bereaved.
   
   If you want to donate money, check the obituary to find out where the bereaved is requesting that donations be made to.
   
   This organization will send a lovely card to the bereaved saying your name and the name of the person in whose memory you donated. , Wakes usually last several hours, and this is so that everyone gets a chance to stop in.
   
   If you didn't know them well, you're not expected to stay the entire length of time, but at the same time, it's distasteful to be in a rush to leave. , Thank anyone who may open the door for you. , A signature is needed, and if you didn't know many people there, you can add a small note of how you knew the deceased. , You can chat with the people near you, that's what wakes are for. , If you have them, that's where they should go. , If you are not or the deceased and bereaved are of a different religion, you can stop to view the body for a moment and move on to greet the bereaved. , Keep it simple, and tell them how sorry you are for their loss.
   
   You can also share a fond memory or two that highlight how generous the person was or how you enjoyed their sense of humor, etc. , This is more in the case of the death of a distant family member, where you may see close cousins, siblings of yours, etc. that came for the same purpose.
   
   You may then stop and chat with them.
   
   There will probably be photos and/or a slideshow set up containing pictures of the deceased enjoying him/herself during happier times.
   
   If so, you can look at these with others and say: "Hey, I remember that!" or "Bob always had such a great sense of humor." or "Wow, I'll really miss those Monday night football games over at Larry's place." Wakes are for reminiscing and remembering the good times. , Exit through the same door you came in through.
   
   If the bereaved are no longer in the receiving line, you may stop to say goodbye to them, or go up to the casket for a final goodbye.
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   Step 3: If you knew the person well enough

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   Step 4: you have the option of sending flowers or making a donation to a designated charity

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   Step 5: disease research foundation

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   Step 6: or hospice.

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   Step 7: Arrive when it's convenient for you.

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   Step 8: Walk in quietly.

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   Step 9: The guest book should be right by the entrance

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    Step 10: so you won't forget to sign it.

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    Step 11: Get into the receiving line.

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    Step 12: As you approach the casket

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    Step 13: there will be a place where you can leave sympathy cards or any money you wish to give directly to the bereaved.

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    Step 14: If you are religious

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    Step 15: you can kneel down to pray at the casket.

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    Step 16: As you approach the bereaved

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    Step 17: introduce yourself.

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    Step 18: After you have proceed through the receiving line

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    Step 19: you may look around for other people you may know.

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    Step 20: After you have finished spending time with everyone

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    Step 21: you may proceed to make a quiet exit.

Detailed Guide

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