How to Avoid Conflicting Thoughts and Emotions

Recognize when you are struggling with internal conflict., Accept and process your emotions., Stop feeling guilty about the way you feel., Stop second guessing your decisions., Avoid being too easily influenced by others., Determine what you really...

8 Steps 4 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Recognize when you are struggling with internal conflict.

    Before you can find unity in your thoughts and emotions, acknowledge that they are in conflict with one another.

    Realizing that you are struggling with internal conflict is the first step toward resolving that conflict.

    You might be experiencing internal conflict if your head tells you to do one thing, while your heart wants to do another.

    For example, suppose your family wants you to work for the family auto business.

    Your head tells you to work for the family business, because they expect it.

    In your heart, though, you really want to pursue a career in music.
  2. Step 2: Accept and process your emotions.

    When you are experiencing a clash between your thoughts and emotions, take a moment to embrace how you are feeling.

    Note any physical sensations that you are experiencing from the emotion, such as shaking or feeling warm.

    This is the first part of processing your emotions and it is called sensing.After you have identified or sensed the emotion, try to name it.

    For example, you might call the emotion anger.

    You can also try to attribute the emotion to something that happened.

    For example, if you are feeling angry, then you might attribute this emotion to something a friend did or said to you recently.

    Next, you can evaluate how you feel about having this emotion.

    For example, you might decide that you feel angry about feeling angry because it is interfering with your ability to concentrate on other things.

    To finish processing your emotions, you can find a way to act on it.

    Choose a healthy outlet to help you express your emotions.

    For example, you might try going for a long walk, calling someone to talk about it, or engaging in a favorite hobby, such as painting or playing the drums. , Thoughts are often viewed as logical, while emotions are sometimes perceived as unreliable or irrational because they can be so intense.

    While your thoughts might be right at times, there are times when your emotions can be right too.

    Feeling guilty because your emotions are not in line with your thoughts will only make you feel even more conflicted., A sure-fire way to continue struggling with conflicting thoughts and emotions is to second guess every decision you make.In one moment, you might think, “I should have gone with my head.” In another moment, you might tell yourself, “I should have listened to my heart.” Even when your thoughts and emotions are not completely in line with one another, have confidence in the decisions you make.

    When you stop second guessing yourself, you can begin experiencing less conflict between your thoughts and emotions. , Worrying about what other people think can lead to conflicting thoughts and emotions.

    Some people will give you advice that is in agreement with your thoughts, while others will recommend something in line with your emotions.

    Stop worrying about other people’s opinions.Try asking yourself some questions to help you refocus on yourself, such as:
    What do I think of this? How will this affect me versus others? Who has to live with the consequences of this decision? Does this decision follow my values or someone else's values?"

    When you know exactly what is important to you, your thoughts and emotions should begin to align with those values.

    That should mean experiencing less conflict between those thoughts and emotions, as well.

    Think, act, and feel in ways that support your values rather than other people’s values.

    Doing so make it easier to avoid conflicting thoughts and emotions. , As you develop confidence in who you are and become clearer on what is important to you, you should find that your thoughts and emotions become more unified.

    Some things you can try to improve your belief in yourself include:
    Using affirmations.

    Affirming your ability to accomplish things may help you.

    For example, you might say something like, “I have a long day ahead of me, but I have done this before and I can do it again.” Saying positive things to yourself.

    Try giving yourself a compliment every day.

    For example, you can look in the mirror and compliment something about your appearance, or note a positive trait that you possess.

    Developing your decision-making skills.

    Working out a strategy to solve problems may also help you to feel more capable of dealing with whatever comes your way. , When you recognize that you are struggling with internal conflict, don’t avoid it or hide from it.

    It will only continue bothering you.

    Admit that it’s there so that you work to resolve it.

    Keep in mind that it is normal to experience these internal conflicts.

    Even if you take time to think about the problem and develop a solution, you might still find yourself thinking about it.
  3. Step 3: Stop feeling guilty about the way you feel.

  4. Step 4: Stop second guessing your decisions.

  5. Step 5: Avoid being too easily influenced by others.

  6. Step 6: Determine what you really value.

  7. Step 7: Believe in yourself.

  8. Step 8: Acknowledge the internal conflict.

Detailed Guide

Before you can find unity in your thoughts and emotions, acknowledge that they are in conflict with one another.

Realizing that you are struggling with internal conflict is the first step toward resolving that conflict.

You might be experiencing internal conflict if your head tells you to do one thing, while your heart wants to do another.

For example, suppose your family wants you to work for the family auto business.

Your head tells you to work for the family business, because they expect it.

In your heart, though, you really want to pursue a career in music.

When you are experiencing a clash between your thoughts and emotions, take a moment to embrace how you are feeling.

Note any physical sensations that you are experiencing from the emotion, such as shaking or feeling warm.

This is the first part of processing your emotions and it is called sensing.After you have identified or sensed the emotion, try to name it.

For example, you might call the emotion anger.

You can also try to attribute the emotion to something that happened.

For example, if you are feeling angry, then you might attribute this emotion to something a friend did or said to you recently.

Next, you can evaluate how you feel about having this emotion.

For example, you might decide that you feel angry about feeling angry because it is interfering with your ability to concentrate on other things.

To finish processing your emotions, you can find a way to act on it.

Choose a healthy outlet to help you express your emotions.

For example, you might try going for a long walk, calling someone to talk about it, or engaging in a favorite hobby, such as painting or playing the drums. , Thoughts are often viewed as logical, while emotions are sometimes perceived as unreliable or irrational because they can be so intense.

While your thoughts might be right at times, there are times when your emotions can be right too.

Feeling guilty because your emotions are not in line with your thoughts will only make you feel even more conflicted., A sure-fire way to continue struggling with conflicting thoughts and emotions is to second guess every decision you make.In one moment, you might think, “I should have gone with my head.” In another moment, you might tell yourself, “I should have listened to my heart.” Even when your thoughts and emotions are not completely in line with one another, have confidence in the decisions you make.

When you stop second guessing yourself, you can begin experiencing less conflict between your thoughts and emotions. , Worrying about what other people think can lead to conflicting thoughts and emotions.

Some people will give you advice that is in agreement with your thoughts, while others will recommend something in line with your emotions.

Stop worrying about other people’s opinions.Try asking yourself some questions to help you refocus on yourself, such as:
What do I think of this? How will this affect me versus others? Who has to live with the consequences of this decision? Does this decision follow my values or someone else's values?"

When you know exactly what is important to you, your thoughts and emotions should begin to align with those values.

That should mean experiencing less conflict between those thoughts and emotions, as well.

Think, act, and feel in ways that support your values rather than other people’s values.

Doing so make it easier to avoid conflicting thoughts and emotions. , As you develop confidence in who you are and become clearer on what is important to you, you should find that your thoughts and emotions become more unified.

Some things you can try to improve your belief in yourself include:
Using affirmations.

Affirming your ability to accomplish things may help you.

For example, you might say something like, “I have a long day ahead of me, but I have done this before and I can do it again.” Saying positive things to yourself.

Try giving yourself a compliment every day.

For example, you can look in the mirror and compliment something about your appearance, or note a positive trait that you possess.

Developing your decision-making skills.

Working out a strategy to solve problems may also help you to feel more capable of dealing with whatever comes your way. , When you recognize that you are struggling with internal conflict, don’t avoid it or hide from it.

It will only continue bothering you.

Admit that it’s there so that you work to resolve it.

Keep in mind that it is normal to experience these internal conflicts.

Even if you take time to think about the problem and develop a solution, you might still find yourself thinking about it.

About the Author

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Amber Ross

Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow pet care tutorials.

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