How to Avoid Taking Revenge
Understand why wanting revenge is often a knee-jerk reaction and not a long-term solution., Accept things for what they are., Rise above any wrongdoing., Nourish your own self-worth., Concentrate on other things and other people., Seek help from...
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Understand why wanting revenge is often a knee-jerk reaction and not a long-term solution.
When someone hurts us, it is understandable that we react initially in upset and anger, as we try to protect ourselves and overcome the harm that the other person has caused.
In many cases, there is a case of shock as well, that the person you perhaps trusted, relied on or had faith in, has turned on you.
Revenge might seem "right" in the heat of the moment and confusion of feelings.
However, long-term it eats away at you and can lead you into a troubled pathway of letting that person invade your head instead of getting on with your life. -
Step 2: Accept things for what they are.
Instead of stressing yourself about why or how you got into or were on the receiving end of the problem, focus on solving rather than perpetuating the problem.
Acceptance can help by allowing you to just deal with the fact it has happened and now it's time to move upward and onward. , During this period, if you find that person continues mocking you or deliberately trying to goad you, just say this mantra: "My parents taught me good manners.
That includes remaining neutral in front of uncaring, thoughtless and undermining people." By sticking to good manners, you do two things:
One, you stay calm and focused on being politely neutral; two, you show that you're the stronger person and won't take their bait.
Stay classy and take the high road. , Don't allow the wrongdoer's behavior to cause you to feel that there's something wrong with you.
Revenge is often born of feeling less than the other person and wanting to "get even"
which means wanting to be in the same place as that person.
The thing is this––when someone brings you down, they're already below you.
Don't stoop to meet them; the responsibility is on them to make the effort to rise to your level and be a better human being.
For you, spend your energies on nourishing your own self-worth.
In this way, you spend time looking after you and not chasing after them.
Prioritize your own goals:
Invest in your own health and well-being, pursue your own dreams and create your own fulfilling future that doesn't include that person. , Focus on your studies, work, hobbies, and loved ones.
Show that person your life is better than his/hers.
Indeed, the best form of revenge is to have a successful life. , People who have lived through such experiences will help you with their advice and experiences.
Ask them what they did whenever someone mucked up things for them and how they managed to overcome it without giving into revenge. , Time is a good healer, if not the best.
It puts distance between you and whatever happened, it allows you to move on and find people and situations you can trust in.
Time also allows you to extract the lesson from what happened to avoid repeating the same mistake twice. , Remember that what comes around goes around, without you doing anything.
As the sayings go: "You reap what you sow" and "Everyone has his/her day." There's no need to seek revenge; a person who does wrong or acts stupidly will eventually have it catch up to them and ruin things without anyone else having to intervene.
Think to yourself: "I am not going to waste my energies on revenge.
That person will muck things up on their own." Remind yourself of this often. , Above all else, focus on what matters to you and what bolsters your morale and makes your life happier.
Revenge keeps you mired in anger and unhappiness, while focusing on the good moves you right beyond that.
What things make you happy and remind you of what matters most? When you don't allow the other person to ruin your happiness, they lose their power. , The wise person doesn't take the metaphorical knife to stab the other person.
The wise person uses the knife to cut the cord that bound you both, freeing you from their circle of influence and giving yourself a brand new start.
Be strong and forgive; be smart and ignore their existence.
Forgiveness doesn't mean not learning the lesson.
Take that lesson and avoid falling for any such shenanigans ever again. -
Step 3: Rise above any wrongdoing.
-
Step 4: Nourish your own self-worth.
-
Step 5: Concentrate on other things and other people.
-
Step 6: Seek help from elders or from more mature friends.
-
Step 7: Leave everything to time.
-
Step 8: Rely on karma.
-
Step 9: Focus on the good.
-
Step 10: Let go.
Detailed Guide
When someone hurts us, it is understandable that we react initially in upset and anger, as we try to protect ourselves and overcome the harm that the other person has caused.
In many cases, there is a case of shock as well, that the person you perhaps trusted, relied on or had faith in, has turned on you.
Revenge might seem "right" in the heat of the moment and confusion of feelings.
However, long-term it eats away at you and can lead you into a troubled pathway of letting that person invade your head instead of getting on with your life.
Instead of stressing yourself about why or how you got into or were on the receiving end of the problem, focus on solving rather than perpetuating the problem.
Acceptance can help by allowing you to just deal with the fact it has happened and now it's time to move upward and onward. , During this period, if you find that person continues mocking you or deliberately trying to goad you, just say this mantra: "My parents taught me good manners.
That includes remaining neutral in front of uncaring, thoughtless and undermining people." By sticking to good manners, you do two things:
One, you stay calm and focused on being politely neutral; two, you show that you're the stronger person and won't take their bait.
Stay classy and take the high road. , Don't allow the wrongdoer's behavior to cause you to feel that there's something wrong with you.
Revenge is often born of feeling less than the other person and wanting to "get even"
which means wanting to be in the same place as that person.
The thing is this––when someone brings you down, they're already below you.
Don't stoop to meet them; the responsibility is on them to make the effort to rise to your level and be a better human being.
For you, spend your energies on nourishing your own self-worth.
In this way, you spend time looking after you and not chasing after them.
Prioritize your own goals:
Invest in your own health and well-being, pursue your own dreams and create your own fulfilling future that doesn't include that person. , Focus on your studies, work, hobbies, and loved ones.
Show that person your life is better than his/hers.
Indeed, the best form of revenge is to have a successful life. , People who have lived through such experiences will help you with their advice and experiences.
Ask them what they did whenever someone mucked up things for them and how they managed to overcome it without giving into revenge. , Time is a good healer, if not the best.
It puts distance between you and whatever happened, it allows you to move on and find people and situations you can trust in.
Time also allows you to extract the lesson from what happened to avoid repeating the same mistake twice. , Remember that what comes around goes around, without you doing anything.
As the sayings go: "You reap what you sow" and "Everyone has his/her day." There's no need to seek revenge; a person who does wrong or acts stupidly will eventually have it catch up to them and ruin things without anyone else having to intervene.
Think to yourself: "I am not going to waste my energies on revenge.
That person will muck things up on their own." Remind yourself of this often. , Above all else, focus on what matters to you and what bolsters your morale and makes your life happier.
Revenge keeps you mired in anger and unhappiness, while focusing on the good moves you right beyond that.
What things make you happy and remind you of what matters most? When you don't allow the other person to ruin your happiness, they lose their power. , The wise person doesn't take the metaphorical knife to stab the other person.
The wise person uses the knife to cut the cord that bound you both, freeing you from their circle of influence and giving yourself a brand new start.
Be strong and forgive; be smart and ignore their existence.
Forgiveness doesn't mean not learning the lesson.
Take that lesson and avoid falling for any such shenanigans ever again.
About the Author
Samuel Watson
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow home improvement tutorials.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: