How to Balance Others' Feelings with Your Own
Practice active and engaged listening., Paraphrase or summarize what the speaker said., Read their body language and nonverbal cues., Acknowledge others’ emotions without rushing to solve their problems., Notice how your own experience impacts your...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Practice active and engaged listening.
One of the most powerful ways to tune into what others are feeling is by actively listening.
This skill helps you hear their message along with observing their body language and emotional expression.
All of these elements should be considered in order to bring awareness about what others may be feeling.
Demonstrate active listening by orienting towards the speaker, relaxing your arms and legs at your sides, making occasional eye contact, and letting them finish their message before responding. -
Step 2: Paraphrase or summarize what the speaker said.
A great way to show you're listening and can recognize others' feelings is by summing up their message or restating it in different way.
You look for key words and phrases that represent the speaker's intended message and restate them.
This helps affirm the speaker, and provides them with an opportunity to clarify, if necessary.For instance, you are listening to your partner complain about their parents.
They say, "My mom never listens.
She just tells me what she wants me to do without ever asking for my input.
It's like I'm not even living my own life." You might paraphrase by saying, "It sounds like your mom doesn't seem to respect your opinion, or even ask for it.
You don't know what to do about it.
Am I right?"
Sometimes, people clue you into what they may be feeling by holding their bodies a certain way, by making facial expressions, or by using gestures.
You need to pay attention to these aspects of communication in order to fully decipher others' feelings.For example, if your friend has their arms crossed and a scowl on their face, they may be angry or frustrated.
If their shoulders are slumped and their eyes watery, they may be sad. , Empathetic people often jump in to help—sometimes, without being asked.
This results in others’ emotions overpowering your own.
Unless you are solicited, just listen.
Don’t feel the need to “rescue” the other person.
You can demonstrate that you heard what they said by validating their emotional experience.
Say something along the lines of “Sounds like you feel…”For instance, your best friend tells you, “I’m freaking out.
I have so much to do and so little time!” You might reflect the emotional experience by saying, “Sounds like you are a bit overwhelmed.
Your new job seems very demanding.” , To listen effectively, you need to be aware of your own perceptions and how they color what you hear.
Mindful self-awareness helps you separate your own experiences, feelings, beliefs, and biases from what others are saying. -
Step 3: Read their body language and nonverbal cues.
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Step 4: Acknowledge others’ emotions without rushing to solve their problems.
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Step 5: Notice how your own experience impacts your ability to listen.
Detailed Guide
One of the most powerful ways to tune into what others are feeling is by actively listening.
This skill helps you hear their message along with observing their body language and emotional expression.
All of these elements should be considered in order to bring awareness about what others may be feeling.
Demonstrate active listening by orienting towards the speaker, relaxing your arms and legs at your sides, making occasional eye contact, and letting them finish their message before responding.
A great way to show you're listening and can recognize others' feelings is by summing up their message or restating it in different way.
You look for key words and phrases that represent the speaker's intended message and restate them.
This helps affirm the speaker, and provides them with an opportunity to clarify, if necessary.For instance, you are listening to your partner complain about their parents.
They say, "My mom never listens.
She just tells me what she wants me to do without ever asking for my input.
It's like I'm not even living my own life." You might paraphrase by saying, "It sounds like your mom doesn't seem to respect your opinion, or even ask for it.
You don't know what to do about it.
Am I right?"
Sometimes, people clue you into what they may be feeling by holding their bodies a certain way, by making facial expressions, or by using gestures.
You need to pay attention to these aspects of communication in order to fully decipher others' feelings.For example, if your friend has their arms crossed and a scowl on their face, they may be angry or frustrated.
If their shoulders are slumped and their eyes watery, they may be sad. , Empathetic people often jump in to help—sometimes, without being asked.
This results in others’ emotions overpowering your own.
Unless you are solicited, just listen.
Don’t feel the need to “rescue” the other person.
You can demonstrate that you heard what they said by validating their emotional experience.
Say something along the lines of “Sounds like you feel…”For instance, your best friend tells you, “I’m freaking out.
I have so much to do and so little time!” You might reflect the emotional experience by saying, “Sounds like you are a bit overwhelmed.
Your new job seems very demanding.” , To listen effectively, you need to be aware of your own perceptions and how they color what you hear.
Mindful self-awareness helps you separate your own experiences, feelings, beliefs, and biases from what others are saying.
About the Author
Michael Wright
Committed to making pet care accessible and understandable for everyone.
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