How to Be a Good Guest (for Mothers in Law)

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Rent a car

   Don't expect your hosts to cart you around to wherever you want to go.
   
   Additionally, your hosts may be not having their vacations as you are and working throughout the day
   - the last thing they want to do when they get home is drive you places.
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   Step 2: or have an alternate way to get around.

   If they are working during your stay, they may need some time to themselves away from 'entertaining'.
   
   Conversely, ask them ahead of time if they have any routines that you should respect while you're in their home. , If, when you arrive, your hosts have prepared a place for you to sleep and take a bath, do not offend them by refusing their graciousness and sleeping on the sofa or bathing out of the kitchen sink.
   
   If they have gone to the trouble to prepare for you, be a gracious guest and take advantage of their preparations.
   
   There may be a very good reason they have placed you there.
   
   Don't be a martyr. , do not hum or sing when there is no music playing (especially if others in the room are trying to watch TV or read a book), burp loudly, or walk around in your pajamas all day.
   
   Be an observer and learn more about what your child's life is now like. , Things like spraying yourself liberally with perfume or walking around in underwear may not be acceptable; be a quick learner and follow the rules. , For example, a recliner is comfortable but there are others in the house that may want to use it on occasion. , Get up and get your own sodas, cook a meal, take out the trash, do something to contribute to the family.
   
   However
   - before using the stove, oven, washer, dryer, or opening any cabinets to find cleaning products, ask your hosts for permission. , This is a pessimistic view and not pleasant conversation.
   
   Try to not think of yourself the whole time, and try not to monopolize the conversations.
   
   Especially, do not get into long 'do you remembers' and goings-on of back home with your son/daughter while other people are present.
   
   It makes them feel left out of the conversation and they have nothing to contribute.
   
   Find some alone time with your child to reminisce. , Money is easy to spend and it does not make up for being rude or not following proper etiquette.
   
   Your child is a person and deserves respect. , You had your time raising your children, now it is your son's/daughter's turn to raise theirs. , If you have a son-in-law, do not verbalize any flaws that you see in him. (This includes refraining from verbalizing your son-in-law's perceived flaws to your own daughter or other family members). , Period.
   
   Your child and spouse already realize that they do not see you frequently.
   
   Do not complain about it, do not blame them, and do not bring on the guilt trips and accuse them of not caring.
   
   This will only push them farther away and you will see even less of them in the future.
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   Step 3: Plan other things during your visit

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   Step 4: and let them know in advance.

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   Step 5: Accept what your hosts offer you.

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   Step 6: Avoid doing anything to disrupt the normal flow of the host's household

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   Step 7: try to be unobtrusive in your child's house as you would in any host's house - i.e.

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   Step 8: Be aware that some of your habits in your own home may not fly here.

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   Step 9: Do not take command of a particular piece of furniture for the entire length of your stay.

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    Step 10: When staying for extended periods of time (more than 2-3 days)

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    Step 11: do not expect your host to wait on your every beck and call.

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    Step 12: Do not bore your hosts with tales of your aches and pains and how horrible it is to be your age.

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    Step 13: Do not assume that just because you purchase meals or gifts or other items for your children that you are excused from any of the above items.

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    Step 14: If you have grandchildren

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    Step 15: please refrain from intentionally going against the rules their parents have set for them (and please do not make recommendations about how you think grandchildren should be raised).

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    Step 16: Do not give your daughter-in-law unsolicited advice on her weight

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    Step 17: how to clean

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    Step 18: how to be a better mother

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    Step 19: or how to be a better cook.

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    Step 20: Do not spend the visit complaining.

Detailed Guide

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