How to Be a Mary Sue
Let's start with your character's weight., Never be any taller than 5'6., Don't forget curves., You skin should be naturally perfect., Logic is for losers., All flaws should be minor and used to make your character look adorable (therefore not...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Let's start with your character's weight.
She simply must have 0% body fat.
In fact, they don't weigh anymore than 120 pounds.
Of course, no matter how thin you are, remember you're always super strong.
What's that you say? Muscles have mass too and bulge out? Not in a Sue they don't! -
Step 2: Never be any taller than 5'6.
Because you won't be 'cute' or petite if you are.
Only ugly girls are really tall.
Boys however MUST to be at least 6 feet (1.8Â m) tall and mysteriously strong even without obvious muscles! , Feel free to mention your hourglass figure or perfect abs in almost every post.
It reminds everyone of just how naturally, perfectly handsome or beautiful your character is. , Only regular people actually need to use make-up.
Your character should only wear it to accent their already lovely skin or flawless abs.
Caked on eyeliner and ten pounds of makeup is acceptable.
No one will say you look like a raccoon, and if they do, then they're just jealous of your character's absolutely perfect looks. , Ignore it completely, and feel free to do things that are absolutely impossible in real life and defy the laws of universe.
Speaking of which...when it comes to Mary Sues, obeying laws is for losers too. , Who can resist a girl who trips over her own feet or gets the sneezes from daisies? *cough* Bella Swan *cough*. , They don't even have to make any sense.
Who is going to question a girl who is part vampire, part unicorn, and part mermaid? , 14-year old master swordsman/sniper/wizard? Sure! Why not? Only dumb characters actually spend years learning skills. , Just magically pull talents out of nowhere.
Like being a terrific sniper despite never handling a gun before, or a wicked guitarist in 5 seconds. , If you need a personality, just make up a generic one or steal it off of another character.
Better yet, observe a board, watch the male character you find "cool"
ask to join, then totally rip off his persona.
Guys totally dig female versions of themselves.
Just make sure to be better than him at everything he does.
Even if it's his job and he spent years mastering his skills. , Or a katana.
Because anyone who uses logical weapons like guns is just a twit.
A katana can cut through a tank and slice the moon in half! Seriously! , -
Step 3: Don't forget curves.
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Step 4: You skin should be naturally perfect.
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Step 5: Logic is for losers.
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Step 6: All flaws should be minor and used to make your character look adorable (therefore not making them actual
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Step 7: serious flaws that your character must learn to confront and live with).
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Step 8: Having more than four species in your bloodline is highly encouraged.
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Step 9: Your talents defy logic.
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Step 10: You don't need to spend time mastering anything.
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Step 11: Depth is another thing you can ignore.
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Step 12: Even if you are in a modern role play always use a sword as a weapon.
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Step 13: France
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Step 14: England
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Step 15: and Japan: the ONLY countries you should come from
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Step 16: even if your character is a wolf-unicorn-fairy hybrid living in Narnia.
Detailed Guide
She simply must have 0% body fat.
In fact, they don't weigh anymore than 120 pounds.
Of course, no matter how thin you are, remember you're always super strong.
What's that you say? Muscles have mass too and bulge out? Not in a Sue they don't!
Because you won't be 'cute' or petite if you are.
Only ugly girls are really tall.
Boys however MUST to be at least 6 feet (1.8Â m) tall and mysteriously strong even without obvious muscles! , Feel free to mention your hourglass figure or perfect abs in almost every post.
It reminds everyone of just how naturally, perfectly handsome or beautiful your character is. , Only regular people actually need to use make-up.
Your character should only wear it to accent their already lovely skin or flawless abs.
Caked on eyeliner and ten pounds of makeup is acceptable.
No one will say you look like a raccoon, and if they do, then they're just jealous of your character's absolutely perfect looks. , Ignore it completely, and feel free to do things that are absolutely impossible in real life and defy the laws of universe.
Speaking of which...when it comes to Mary Sues, obeying laws is for losers too. , Who can resist a girl who trips over her own feet or gets the sneezes from daisies? *cough* Bella Swan *cough*. , They don't even have to make any sense.
Who is going to question a girl who is part vampire, part unicorn, and part mermaid? , 14-year old master swordsman/sniper/wizard? Sure! Why not? Only dumb characters actually spend years learning skills. , Just magically pull talents out of nowhere.
Like being a terrific sniper despite never handling a gun before, or a wicked guitarist in 5 seconds. , If you need a personality, just make up a generic one or steal it off of another character.
Better yet, observe a board, watch the male character you find "cool"
ask to join, then totally rip off his persona.
Guys totally dig female versions of themselves.
Just make sure to be better than him at everything he does.
Even if it's his job and he spent years mastering his skills. , Or a katana.
Because anyone who uses logical weapons like guns is just a twit.
A katana can cut through a tank and slice the moon in half! Seriously! ,
About the Author
Melissa Ortiz
Enthusiastic about teaching cooking techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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