How to Be Bad
Be the life of the party., Don't take on new responsibilities., Be late for everything., Break small rules to assert your badness., Relax in bad ways., Assemble a team of miscreants., Pretend you don't care about punishment., Find gainful villain...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Be the life of the party.
If you’re going to be bad, having fun needs to take the front seat.
Ambitions, responsibilities, and high seriousness can take a backseat to grabbing life by the fun buttons.
As a bad kid, you've got to always be looking for the scheme, the party, the angle.
Always be laughing and having a good time.When you walk into the room, your friends should all be equally glad to see you and terrified.
Everyone should take notice of your attitude, your walk, and your style.
You've got to ooze danger.
When you walk into a classroom, never hustle right to your seat and sit down quietly.
Poke your friend in the ribs, say "What up, teach?" and burp before you sit down.
Put your feet up on the desk.
You're bad. -
Step 2: Don't take on new responsibilities.
It’s hard to be a rule-breaker if you’re worried about getting back to your dorm room to feed your roommate’s fish, or if you have to walk your little sister home from school every day after school.
A bad kid will flat-out refuse to take on unnecessary responsibilities.
You've got only enough energy and attention to look out for one person.
You.
Don’t take on unnecessary responsibilities that will keep you from doing more important things.
Like napping.
It's important to be responsible for yourself.
If you absolutely have to do something, do it.
You're not being responsible for your own fun if you get in trouble and have to stay home all day.
If someone else is depending on you, come through.
Then cause trouble. , Being on time is for dorks, brown-nosers, and teachers' pets.
The bell's ringing for class? So what? Your coffee break is over at work? Who cares? There's no sense in being on time.
The party starts when you walk in the door anyway.
They'll wait.
A bad kid never shows up to a party until it's in full swing.
Roll up late, a couple hours after it was supposed to start.
Never be the first one to show up. , Little rules are meant to be broken.
That's how people will know you're one of the bad kids and not some rule-abiding citizen.
Find little things that you can do wrong without getting into serious trouble and you'll quickly get a reputation as a rule-breaker and a bad kid.
Break the dress code by wearing jewelry, or the wrong colors on the wrong day.
Always chalk it up to a mistake. "I didn't know," should be your catch phrase, followed closely by, "What'd I do?" There’s a difference between acting bad and being a real-life trouble-maker and criminal.
Don’t break laws or engage in dangerous illegal activity that could get you into serious trouble. , Being bad is hard work.
You've got to learn to relax and be evil at the same time.
Never let up on your bad ways.
When you've got some free time, consider the following hobbies:
Play golf and lose badly, then blame your teenage cabbie.
Berate the kid and complain about him to the manager.
Get him to quit.
Go for relaxing Sunday drives on the interstate at rush hour.
Let your rage bubble.
Cut people off.
Safely, of course.
No sense in denting your Corolla.
Hunt big game.
Go on hunting expeditions to exotic locations and kill large beautiful animals that have absolutely no way of defending themselves.
Save their heads and put them on your wall. , From wolves to teenagers, the bad travel in packs.
Find a wolf-pack of other bad kids and form a little gang.
If you want to be all greaser about it, you could even get leather jackets with patches on the back and make it official.
Walk and snap, buddy.
Walk and snap. , If you're bad enough, you're going to end up spending a considerable amount of time being punished.
When you're a kid, that might mean going straight to bed without supper, being sent to time out, being suspended from school, or even worse punishments.
As you get older, the punishments will get more severe.
Whatever the consequences, face them with icy and stoic poise.
Be cool in the face of your punishment.
When you learn your punishment, say something cool, like "Sounds fun." You'll take all the wind out of your punisher's sales.
You always need to be aware of the consequences of your actions.
Never break a rule you're not willing to pay for. , If you're going to be bad full-time, it's a good idea to find some kind of job that will allow you to put your hard-earned skills to good use.
Some good career fields for bad kids might include:
Working in media as the propaganda tsar for a logging corporation.
Be the face of forest destruction.
Work in a slaughterhouse.
Kill cute pigs, cows, and other farm animals for a living.
Strong stomachs required.
Be a trial lawyer and only defend criminals.
The worse their crimes, the more satisfied you are when they walk off free.
Be a mall cop or a security guard.
Find a tiny kingdom and lord over it with extreme badness.
Wear sunglasses. -
Step 3: Be late for everything.
-
Step 4: Break small rules to assert your badness.
-
Step 5: Relax in bad ways.
-
Step 6: Assemble a team of miscreants.
-
Step 7: Pretend you don't care about punishment.
-
Step 8: Find gainful villain employment.
Detailed Guide
If you’re going to be bad, having fun needs to take the front seat.
Ambitions, responsibilities, and high seriousness can take a backseat to grabbing life by the fun buttons.
As a bad kid, you've got to always be looking for the scheme, the party, the angle.
Always be laughing and having a good time.When you walk into the room, your friends should all be equally glad to see you and terrified.
Everyone should take notice of your attitude, your walk, and your style.
You've got to ooze danger.
When you walk into a classroom, never hustle right to your seat and sit down quietly.
Poke your friend in the ribs, say "What up, teach?" and burp before you sit down.
Put your feet up on the desk.
You're bad.
It’s hard to be a rule-breaker if you’re worried about getting back to your dorm room to feed your roommate’s fish, or if you have to walk your little sister home from school every day after school.
A bad kid will flat-out refuse to take on unnecessary responsibilities.
You've got only enough energy and attention to look out for one person.
You.
Don’t take on unnecessary responsibilities that will keep you from doing more important things.
Like napping.
It's important to be responsible for yourself.
If you absolutely have to do something, do it.
You're not being responsible for your own fun if you get in trouble and have to stay home all day.
If someone else is depending on you, come through.
Then cause trouble. , Being on time is for dorks, brown-nosers, and teachers' pets.
The bell's ringing for class? So what? Your coffee break is over at work? Who cares? There's no sense in being on time.
The party starts when you walk in the door anyway.
They'll wait.
A bad kid never shows up to a party until it's in full swing.
Roll up late, a couple hours after it was supposed to start.
Never be the first one to show up. , Little rules are meant to be broken.
That's how people will know you're one of the bad kids and not some rule-abiding citizen.
Find little things that you can do wrong without getting into serious trouble and you'll quickly get a reputation as a rule-breaker and a bad kid.
Break the dress code by wearing jewelry, or the wrong colors on the wrong day.
Always chalk it up to a mistake. "I didn't know," should be your catch phrase, followed closely by, "What'd I do?" There’s a difference between acting bad and being a real-life trouble-maker and criminal.
Don’t break laws or engage in dangerous illegal activity that could get you into serious trouble. , Being bad is hard work.
You've got to learn to relax and be evil at the same time.
Never let up on your bad ways.
When you've got some free time, consider the following hobbies:
Play golf and lose badly, then blame your teenage cabbie.
Berate the kid and complain about him to the manager.
Get him to quit.
Go for relaxing Sunday drives on the interstate at rush hour.
Let your rage bubble.
Cut people off.
Safely, of course.
No sense in denting your Corolla.
Hunt big game.
Go on hunting expeditions to exotic locations and kill large beautiful animals that have absolutely no way of defending themselves.
Save their heads and put them on your wall. , From wolves to teenagers, the bad travel in packs.
Find a wolf-pack of other bad kids and form a little gang.
If you want to be all greaser about it, you could even get leather jackets with patches on the back and make it official.
Walk and snap, buddy.
Walk and snap. , If you're bad enough, you're going to end up spending a considerable amount of time being punished.
When you're a kid, that might mean going straight to bed without supper, being sent to time out, being suspended from school, or even worse punishments.
As you get older, the punishments will get more severe.
Whatever the consequences, face them with icy and stoic poise.
Be cool in the face of your punishment.
When you learn your punishment, say something cool, like "Sounds fun." You'll take all the wind out of your punisher's sales.
You always need to be aware of the consequences of your actions.
Never break a rule you're not willing to pay for. , If you're going to be bad full-time, it's a good idea to find some kind of job that will allow you to put your hard-earned skills to good use.
Some good career fields for bad kids might include:
Working in media as the propaganda tsar for a logging corporation.
Be the face of forest destruction.
Work in a slaughterhouse.
Kill cute pigs, cows, and other farm animals for a living.
Strong stomachs required.
Be a trial lawyer and only defend criminals.
The worse their crimes, the more satisfied you are when they walk off free.
Be a mall cop or a security guard.
Find a tiny kingdom and lord over it with extreme badness.
Wear sunglasses.
About the Author
Jose Campbell
A passionate writer with expertise in practical skills topics. Loves sharing practical knowledge.
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