How to Be Charming
Be genuinely interested in people., Remember people's names when you meet them for the first time., Assume rapport., Talk about topics that interest the people you're with., Share information about yourself.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Be genuinely interested in people.
You don't have to love everyone, but you should be curious or fascinated by people in some way.
Charming people walk into a room full of people ready to spend time talking to others; they don't stand against the wall waiting for the moment when they can escape.
What interests you about other people? If you're empathetic, maybe you're interested in how people feel.
Maybe you're interested in what makes people tick, or what knowledge they hold.
Use your interest as the basis for getting to know people.
Learn how to ask questions based on your interests while being polite and others will feel they are interesting.
Follow up with more questions to continue showing your interest; the person you're talking to should never feel that you're trying to cut the conversation short. -
Step 2: Remember people's names when you meet them for the first time.
This takes an enormous amount of effort for most people, but it's completely worth doing if you want to be charming.
When introducing yourself, repeating the person's name will help you to remember it.
For example: "Hi, Jack, I'm Wendy." Follow through with small talk and use the person's name during your conversation.
Repeat it once more when you say goodbye.
Repeating someone's name is not just about helping you to remember that person.
The more often you say someone's name, the more that person will feel that you like them and the greater the chance they'll warm up to you.
If someone else walks up while you're having a conversation, introduce the two people by name. , This simply means talking to a stranger or a newly met acquaintance in a very friendly manner, as if the person is a long lost friend or relative.
This helps break down an initial awkwardness and speeds up the warm-up process when meeting new people.
Soon, people feel more welcomed and comfortable around you.
Kindness, coupled with respect, makes others feel as if they are loved and cared for.
This is a powerful tool during interaction. , If you're in a sporty crowd, talk about last night's game or the meteoric rise of a new team.
If you're with a group of hobbyists, ask about their hobbies and make pertinent remarks related to fishing, knitting, mountain climbing, movies, and so on.
Nobody expects you to be an expert.
Sometimes you can build rapport just by asking questions, and not caring if you seem naive.
There are people who like talking about and explaining their interests, and will like you for listening.
It is your level of interest and willingness to engage in topics that makes you an interesting person to be around.
Exercise an open mind.
Let others do the explaining.
If someone mistakenly thinks you know more about the topic, be genuine and simply say that your knowledge is limited but that you're hoping to learn more about it. , Being quiet about yourself makes you seem standoffish.
Sharing as much about yourself as you ask others to share is a way to build trust with other people.
They'll feel special because you wanted to talk about your life with them, and before you know it you'll have new friends. -
Step 3: Assume rapport.
-
Step 4: Talk about topics that interest the people you're with.
-
Step 5: Share information about yourself.
Detailed Guide
You don't have to love everyone, but you should be curious or fascinated by people in some way.
Charming people walk into a room full of people ready to spend time talking to others; they don't stand against the wall waiting for the moment when they can escape.
What interests you about other people? If you're empathetic, maybe you're interested in how people feel.
Maybe you're interested in what makes people tick, or what knowledge they hold.
Use your interest as the basis for getting to know people.
Learn how to ask questions based on your interests while being polite and others will feel they are interesting.
Follow up with more questions to continue showing your interest; the person you're talking to should never feel that you're trying to cut the conversation short.
This takes an enormous amount of effort for most people, but it's completely worth doing if you want to be charming.
When introducing yourself, repeating the person's name will help you to remember it.
For example: "Hi, Jack, I'm Wendy." Follow through with small talk and use the person's name during your conversation.
Repeat it once more when you say goodbye.
Repeating someone's name is not just about helping you to remember that person.
The more often you say someone's name, the more that person will feel that you like them and the greater the chance they'll warm up to you.
If someone else walks up while you're having a conversation, introduce the two people by name. , This simply means talking to a stranger or a newly met acquaintance in a very friendly manner, as if the person is a long lost friend or relative.
This helps break down an initial awkwardness and speeds up the warm-up process when meeting new people.
Soon, people feel more welcomed and comfortable around you.
Kindness, coupled with respect, makes others feel as if they are loved and cared for.
This is a powerful tool during interaction. , If you're in a sporty crowd, talk about last night's game or the meteoric rise of a new team.
If you're with a group of hobbyists, ask about their hobbies and make pertinent remarks related to fishing, knitting, mountain climbing, movies, and so on.
Nobody expects you to be an expert.
Sometimes you can build rapport just by asking questions, and not caring if you seem naive.
There are people who like talking about and explaining their interests, and will like you for listening.
It is your level of interest and willingness to engage in topics that makes you an interesting person to be around.
Exercise an open mind.
Let others do the explaining.
If someone mistakenly thinks you know more about the topic, be genuine and simply say that your knowledge is limited but that you're hoping to learn more about it. , Being quiet about yourself makes you seem standoffish.
Sharing as much about yourself as you ask others to share is a way to build trust with other people.
They'll feel special because you wanted to talk about your life with them, and before you know it you'll have new friends.
About the Author
Jordan Gonzalez
Jordan Gonzalez has dedicated 24 years to mastering technology and innovation. As a content creator, Jordan focuses on providing actionable tips and step-by-step guides.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: