How to Be Good to Yourself
Take a 10-minute time out., Learn to say no., Treat yourself., Be patient with yourself., Accept the fact that life is uncertain.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Take a 10-minute time out.
If something is overwhelming you, or you feel like you’re being pulled in ten directions at once, take a time out.
Stop doing whatever is stressing you out and do something enjoyable.
Take a short walk, listen to a favorite song, read a chapter in a book, or whatever else makes you happy.Taking a break will help you return to the task at hand with a clearer mind and feeling refreshed.Try scheduling yourself a short break every two hours or so to make sure you take a moment to breathe, regroup, and reboot. -
Step 2: Learn to say no.
There is no human requirement that says we must always say yes when others ask us to do something, even if we love and care about the person.
And you’re not being selfish telling someone no.
If you have too many things on your plate any one day, don’t allow yourself to add more.
Focus on your priorities — Review all the things you have on your plate and evaluate if any new things you’ve been asked to do fit with your top priorities or are more important.
If the things you’ve been asked to do are a low priority in your life right now, it’s probably a good idea to say no.
If your friend asks if you can help him with his resume today, but you're taking your dad to the hospital for some tests, you can say, "You know, I really can't today." Be realistic — Think realistically about what you can accomplish in a given day.
Not only that, but what can you accomplish effectively? Maybe you can tackle 20 tasks in a day, but will you be able to do them well? Maybe adding one or two more things into the mix will hurt the quality of all your tasks for that day, because you're scrambling to do everything.
Don't forget, at some point you need to eat and sleep to take care of yourself.
Eliminate guilt — Don’t agree to do something simply because saying no will make you feel guilty.
It’s entirely possible that the person asking this of you is hoping you’ll feel guilty and say yes.
If you are feeling guilty, think about all the times you have agreed to help people in the past.
Remember that you can't please everyone all of the time; you can't say "yes" to everything, as much as you might want to.
If someone gets mad at you for saying you can't do something, you may need to examine whether or not that person really cares about your wellbeing.
Take your time — Don’t say yes or no immediately.
Tell the person asking you to do something that you need time to think about it.
Then actually take that time.
Sleep on it, think about it, and then make a final decision when you aren’t rushed. , You're special, so treat yourself once in a while for being special.
Treat yourself to something that makes you smile.
This might be treating yourself to a manicure or pedicure, buying yourself a pair of earrings you’ve had your eye on, getting that power tool that you really want, or going for a drive by yourself.
Make an effort to treat yourself to something that is good for you and will help you feel refreshed and taken care of.
Treating yourself doesn’t have to include buying yourself something.
For example, instead of going to a spa for a pedicure, give yourself one. , Some days everything seems to go right, and other days everything seems to go wrong.
Don’t punish yourself on those bad days.
It’s okay if you’re not getting as much done as you had planned, or aren’t as fast at your work as you normally are.
Just do your best.
Remember that you aren't born with patience, and it's a skill you can work on.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed with the amount of things you have to do, ask for help.
Reach out to a friend, family member, or other confidant and ask for advice.Give yourself a break.
Go have a nap or a shower.
Allow yourself to be refreshed and then restart what you were doing. , You can’t predict everything that is going to happen in your life, so don’t try.
Sure, you can plan for some potential outcomes, but you don’t have to spend hours planning for every possible outcome to every decision you make.
Accept the fact that you’re going to have uncertainty in your life, and that’s okay.
Consider uncertainty as an adventure.
You don’t always know what’s around the bend, so let it be a surprise.
Try to think of uncertainty as something exciting and a chance to be spontaneous, not something to fear.
After a breakup you may feel certain that you will never meet someone else — but of course that is not a certainty, and you may end up meeting someone amazing.
You don't know who you'll meet, and that can be an adventure.
Try not to think about how things should be and start considering other possibilities and outcomes.Try practicing mindfulness, which can help you learn to be in the present moment and not worry so much about what might happen in the future. -
Step 3: Treat yourself.
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Step 4: Be patient with yourself.
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Step 5: Accept the fact that life is uncertain.
Detailed Guide
If something is overwhelming you, or you feel like you’re being pulled in ten directions at once, take a time out.
Stop doing whatever is stressing you out and do something enjoyable.
Take a short walk, listen to a favorite song, read a chapter in a book, or whatever else makes you happy.Taking a break will help you return to the task at hand with a clearer mind and feeling refreshed.Try scheduling yourself a short break every two hours or so to make sure you take a moment to breathe, regroup, and reboot.
There is no human requirement that says we must always say yes when others ask us to do something, even if we love and care about the person.
And you’re not being selfish telling someone no.
If you have too many things on your plate any one day, don’t allow yourself to add more.
Focus on your priorities — Review all the things you have on your plate and evaluate if any new things you’ve been asked to do fit with your top priorities or are more important.
If the things you’ve been asked to do are a low priority in your life right now, it’s probably a good idea to say no.
If your friend asks if you can help him with his resume today, but you're taking your dad to the hospital for some tests, you can say, "You know, I really can't today." Be realistic — Think realistically about what you can accomplish in a given day.
Not only that, but what can you accomplish effectively? Maybe you can tackle 20 tasks in a day, but will you be able to do them well? Maybe adding one or two more things into the mix will hurt the quality of all your tasks for that day, because you're scrambling to do everything.
Don't forget, at some point you need to eat and sleep to take care of yourself.
Eliminate guilt — Don’t agree to do something simply because saying no will make you feel guilty.
It’s entirely possible that the person asking this of you is hoping you’ll feel guilty and say yes.
If you are feeling guilty, think about all the times you have agreed to help people in the past.
Remember that you can't please everyone all of the time; you can't say "yes" to everything, as much as you might want to.
If someone gets mad at you for saying you can't do something, you may need to examine whether or not that person really cares about your wellbeing.
Take your time — Don’t say yes or no immediately.
Tell the person asking you to do something that you need time to think about it.
Then actually take that time.
Sleep on it, think about it, and then make a final decision when you aren’t rushed. , You're special, so treat yourself once in a while for being special.
Treat yourself to something that makes you smile.
This might be treating yourself to a manicure or pedicure, buying yourself a pair of earrings you’ve had your eye on, getting that power tool that you really want, or going for a drive by yourself.
Make an effort to treat yourself to something that is good for you and will help you feel refreshed and taken care of.
Treating yourself doesn’t have to include buying yourself something.
For example, instead of going to a spa for a pedicure, give yourself one. , Some days everything seems to go right, and other days everything seems to go wrong.
Don’t punish yourself on those bad days.
It’s okay if you’re not getting as much done as you had planned, or aren’t as fast at your work as you normally are.
Just do your best.
Remember that you aren't born with patience, and it's a skill you can work on.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed with the amount of things you have to do, ask for help.
Reach out to a friend, family member, or other confidant and ask for advice.Give yourself a break.
Go have a nap or a shower.
Allow yourself to be refreshed and then restart what you were doing. , You can’t predict everything that is going to happen in your life, so don’t try.
Sure, you can plan for some potential outcomes, but you don’t have to spend hours planning for every possible outcome to every decision you make.
Accept the fact that you’re going to have uncertainty in your life, and that’s okay.
Consider uncertainty as an adventure.
You don’t always know what’s around the bend, so let it be a surprise.
Try to think of uncertainty as something exciting and a chance to be spontaneous, not something to fear.
After a breakup you may feel certain that you will never meet someone else — but of course that is not a certainty, and you may end up meeting someone amazing.
You don't know who you'll meet, and that can be an adventure.
Try not to think about how things should be and start considering other possibilities and outcomes.Try practicing mindfulness, which can help you learn to be in the present moment and not worry so much about what might happen in the future.
About the Author
Cheryl Anderson
Experienced content creator specializing in cooking guides and tutorials.
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