How to Be More Affectionate

Recognize discomfort., Schedule cuddle time with kids or spouses., Hold hands., Include physical touch in your list of health goals., List healthy ways that you can be physically affectionate., Give playful nudges., Put your feet together., Try a...

8 Steps 4 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Recognize discomfort.

    Some people are uncomfortable with touch because of personality, family history, intimacy issues or trauma.

    This can make it difficult to initiate or enjoy displays of physical affection, such as caressing, hugging, holding hands or cuddling.Deal with your fears regarding intimacy and connecting physically with another person.

    Accept that you are afraid, and find out where it’s coming from.

    It can be helpful to realize that your fears are probably not related to your current partner or events, and to try to move past them.Talk to your partner and let them know that you are uncomfortable and why.

    Ask him or her to be patient.

    Showing physical affection can be easier as you get to know someone better and deal with the root causes of your discomfort with physical intimacy.

    Plus, improving communication may lead to a closer and more affectionate relationship.

    Talk to a professional about it.

    They can help you deal with the negative emotions related to your fears and get over your hesitation to show physical affection.

    If you don’t want to talk to someone, you can write about it in a journal or express your feelings in other ways.

    Make showing physical affection a habit.

    Hold your partner’s hand, touch their shoulder or give them a hug as often as possible.

    Eventually, showing affection physically will come easier and more natural.
  2. Step 2: Schedule cuddle time with kids or spouses.

    Touching helps relieve stress and pain, can help people cope and strengthen bonds.Put cuddle time on your daily schedule with your family to promote physical and psychological health.

    Date night, story time and even TV watching time can all be combined with cuddling. , Whether it is with your partner or your kids, holding hands is quick, painless and can really cement your bond.

    In fact, it is probably one of the easiest ways to immediately increase the amount of physical affection you show for another person.

    Whether you are walking to the bus stop, through grocery isles or sitting at home on the couch, reach over and take someone’s hand that you care about. , Having contact with your kids and partner can release oxytocin, the cuddle hormone, which lowers blood pressure.

    It can also help you control the stress hormone cortisol.Physical touch activates the orbitofrontal cortex in the brain, which contributes to rewarding feelings and can even boost the immune system., Physical affection is any touch that is meant to boost affectionate feelings or love in the giver or receiver.Write down your list so you can refer to it later.

    Then, make it a goal to do each method at various points throughout the week.

    Some ways that you can show affection include: kissing, back rubs, massages, caressing, cuddling, holding, hugging and holding hands.

    There may be other methods specific to you or your relationship that can also relay feelings of love.

    Although it may take 21 days to form a habit, the time length depends upon the person.

    Continue referencing this list for several months to permanently change how much physical affection you show. , Finding humor with your partner can be enhanced by good-natured physical contact.

    This may be a gentle squeeze, shoulder or knee nudge, playful slap, knuckle nudge or soft push.

    Always be sure that your partner doesn’t mind when you nudge them and never hit hard, cause pain or leave bruises., You can wrap your legs and feet together, play footsie under the table, put your feet in your partner’s lap or vice versa.

    This connects you physically and keeps you aware of each other’s presence if you are sitting directly across from him or her.

    Remember, any physical contact that is intended to convey affectionate feelings is a form of physical affection. , Along with other forms of physical affection, giving massages can help bring you closer in your relationship.

    Additionally, massages have health benefits including: reducing stress, increased blood and nutrient flow and helping with pain.

    For all these reasons, a back, foot or body massage is a great way to show physical affection.

    Your partner will probably enjoy it and hopefully return the favor.
  3. Step 3: Hold hands.

  4. Step 4: Include physical touch in your list of health goals.

  5. Step 5: List healthy ways that you can be physically affectionate.

  6. Step 6: Give playful nudges.

  7. Step 7: Put your feet together.

  8. Step 8: Try a massage.

Detailed Guide

Some people are uncomfortable with touch because of personality, family history, intimacy issues or trauma.

This can make it difficult to initiate or enjoy displays of physical affection, such as caressing, hugging, holding hands or cuddling.Deal with your fears regarding intimacy and connecting physically with another person.

Accept that you are afraid, and find out where it’s coming from.

It can be helpful to realize that your fears are probably not related to your current partner or events, and to try to move past them.Talk to your partner and let them know that you are uncomfortable and why.

Ask him or her to be patient.

Showing physical affection can be easier as you get to know someone better and deal with the root causes of your discomfort with physical intimacy.

Plus, improving communication may lead to a closer and more affectionate relationship.

Talk to a professional about it.

They can help you deal with the negative emotions related to your fears and get over your hesitation to show physical affection.

If you don’t want to talk to someone, you can write about it in a journal or express your feelings in other ways.

Make showing physical affection a habit.

Hold your partner’s hand, touch their shoulder or give them a hug as often as possible.

Eventually, showing affection physically will come easier and more natural.

Touching helps relieve stress and pain, can help people cope and strengthen bonds.Put cuddle time on your daily schedule with your family to promote physical and psychological health.

Date night, story time and even TV watching time can all be combined with cuddling. , Whether it is with your partner or your kids, holding hands is quick, painless and can really cement your bond.

In fact, it is probably one of the easiest ways to immediately increase the amount of physical affection you show for another person.

Whether you are walking to the bus stop, through grocery isles or sitting at home on the couch, reach over and take someone’s hand that you care about. , Having contact with your kids and partner can release oxytocin, the cuddle hormone, which lowers blood pressure.

It can also help you control the stress hormone cortisol.Physical touch activates the orbitofrontal cortex in the brain, which contributes to rewarding feelings and can even boost the immune system., Physical affection is any touch that is meant to boost affectionate feelings or love in the giver or receiver.Write down your list so you can refer to it later.

Then, make it a goal to do each method at various points throughout the week.

Some ways that you can show affection include: kissing, back rubs, massages, caressing, cuddling, holding, hugging and holding hands.

There may be other methods specific to you or your relationship that can also relay feelings of love.

Although it may take 21 days to form a habit, the time length depends upon the person.

Continue referencing this list for several months to permanently change how much physical affection you show. , Finding humor with your partner can be enhanced by good-natured physical contact.

This may be a gentle squeeze, shoulder or knee nudge, playful slap, knuckle nudge or soft push.

Always be sure that your partner doesn’t mind when you nudge them and never hit hard, cause pain or leave bruises., You can wrap your legs and feet together, play footsie under the table, put your feet in your partner’s lap or vice versa.

This connects you physically and keeps you aware of each other’s presence if you are sitting directly across from him or her.

Remember, any physical contact that is intended to convey affectionate feelings is a form of physical affection. , Along with other forms of physical affection, giving massages can help bring you closer in your relationship.

Additionally, massages have health benefits including: reducing stress, increased blood and nutrient flow and helping with pain.

For all these reasons, a back, foot or body massage is a great way to show physical affection.

Your partner will probably enjoy it and hopefully return the favor.

About the Author

D

Dorothy Ellis

Experienced content creator specializing in DIY projects guides and tutorials.

73 articles
View all articles

Rate This Guide

--
Loading...
5
0
4
0
3
0
2
0
1
0

How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: