How to Be Supportive of Agender People
Respect pronouns., Use less gendered language referring to them., Respect how they present., Read a bit about agender people., Listen to them., Treat them the same way you would treat any other person.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Respect pronouns.
Someone may wish to be referred to as he or she, as these are not gendered, but others may want to be known as they, or perhaps other non-binary pronouns, such as xe or zie! Even if it sounds odd to you, remember that it is important to them, and it's good to get it right.
If you don't know how to pronounce or spell a pronoun, politely ask. "Of course I'll use your pronoun! Could you please spell it for me so I know how to write it?" If need be, practice the pronoun until you get it right. "Jamie is my friend.
Xe has two sisters and a brother." Practice while by yourself: driving, washing dishes, hanging out in your room, et cetera.
If you make a mistake, correct yourself and move on. "He—sorry, they—were talking about..." There's no need to draw attention to it by making it a big deal. -
Step 2: Use less gendered language referring to them.
Only use language normally used for males of females (e.g. "woman" or "boy") if they ask for it.
Remember that if they use gendered language, they are still agender. , Just because they look male or female doesn't mean they are.
Agender people can wear "gendered" clothing and still be agender, or wear androgynous clothing and be agender. , Search the internet, read articles written by agender people, and learn what they want you to know.
This will help you understand how they feel, and help you avoid putting your foot in your mouth by mistake. , Life can be rough for agender people sometimes—unsupportive family or authority figures, constant misgendering, frequently being misunderstood, et cetera.
You can help by listening to their struggles and showing that you care.
They will appreciate it. , They are agender, not aliens from outer space.
Relax and get to know them as an individual.
If you are kind and understanding, you will do just fine. -
Step 3: Respect how they present.
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Step 4: Read a bit about agender people.
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Step 5: Listen to them.
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Step 6: Treat them the same way you would treat any other person.
Detailed Guide
Someone may wish to be referred to as he or she, as these are not gendered, but others may want to be known as they, or perhaps other non-binary pronouns, such as xe or zie! Even if it sounds odd to you, remember that it is important to them, and it's good to get it right.
If you don't know how to pronounce or spell a pronoun, politely ask. "Of course I'll use your pronoun! Could you please spell it for me so I know how to write it?" If need be, practice the pronoun until you get it right. "Jamie is my friend.
Xe has two sisters and a brother." Practice while by yourself: driving, washing dishes, hanging out in your room, et cetera.
If you make a mistake, correct yourself and move on. "He—sorry, they—were talking about..." There's no need to draw attention to it by making it a big deal.
Only use language normally used for males of females (e.g. "woman" or "boy") if they ask for it.
Remember that if they use gendered language, they are still agender. , Just because they look male or female doesn't mean they are.
Agender people can wear "gendered" clothing and still be agender, or wear androgynous clothing and be agender. , Search the internet, read articles written by agender people, and learn what they want you to know.
This will help you understand how they feel, and help you avoid putting your foot in your mouth by mistake. , Life can be rough for agender people sometimes—unsupportive family or authority figures, constant misgendering, frequently being misunderstood, et cetera.
You can help by listening to their struggles and showing that you care.
They will appreciate it. , They are agender, not aliens from outer space.
Relax and get to know them as an individual.
If you are kind and understanding, you will do just fine.
About the Author
Lori Gutierrez
Enthusiastic about teaching pet care techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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