How to Become Heartless
Let go of your past emotions., Avoid setting specific expectations., Keep yourself busy., Keep relationships on your terms., Seek professional therapy.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Let go of your past emotions.
The term “emotional debt” is often used to describe emotions that we have never fully healed from and allow to play out repeatedly in our day to day lives.
You should be honest with yourself about any past emotions that are still lingering, consciously breaking the patterns that you have developed as a response to those emotions, and step outside your comfort zone.
This will allow you to be aware of how past emotions influence you and to move past them.You might think that your comfort zone protects you from bad feelings, but by staying there, you are letting those unpleasant emotions hold you back.
When you step outside of it, you can take control over them. -
Step 2: Avoid setting specific expectations.
When some experience or person falls short of the expectations you place on them, it hurts.
Remove as many expectations as you can from your life, and when you do make an expectation, keep it as broad and undefined as possible.
This stops you from subjecting yourself to emotional pain for everything that doesn’t go exactly how you’d like it to.You can also change your expectations to be more realistic.
For example, you expecting that today will be warm is much less likely to disappoint than expecting that today will be exactly 73 degrees fahrenheit, breezy, and sunny. , Keeping busy is shown to improve contentment.
Deliberately choose activities that drive you toward your goals or somehow benefit you.
Offering yourself incentives will help justify staying busy.It also allows you to pour your energy into work, working out, cleaning your house, etc., rather than seeking out emotional ties. , Avoid letting people get too close or control you with promises, pleas, or apologies.
Define the types of relationships you want to be in, and have only those relationships.
Be in control of how invested you are in any given relationship. , If you are overwhelmed by past traumas and cannot seem to let the emotion go, you may need the help of a professional psychologist.
Issues like chronic depression or anxiety should not be ignored.
Your therapist can help you decide what clinical approaches and/or medications might be appropriate to help you move past your emotional debt. -
Step 3: Keep yourself busy.
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Step 4: Keep relationships on your terms.
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Step 5: Seek professional therapy.
Detailed Guide
The term “emotional debt” is often used to describe emotions that we have never fully healed from and allow to play out repeatedly in our day to day lives.
You should be honest with yourself about any past emotions that are still lingering, consciously breaking the patterns that you have developed as a response to those emotions, and step outside your comfort zone.
This will allow you to be aware of how past emotions influence you and to move past them.You might think that your comfort zone protects you from bad feelings, but by staying there, you are letting those unpleasant emotions hold you back.
When you step outside of it, you can take control over them.
When some experience or person falls short of the expectations you place on them, it hurts.
Remove as many expectations as you can from your life, and when you do make an expectation, keep it as broad and undefined as possible.
This stops you from subjecting yourself to emotional pain for everything that doesn’t go exactly how you’d like it to.You can also change your expectations to be more realistic.
For example, you expecting that today will be warm is much less likely to disappoint than expecting that today will be exactly 73 degrees fahrenheit, breezy, and sunny. , Keeping busy is shown to improve contentment.
Deliberately choose activities that drive you toward your goals or somehow benefit you.
Offering yourself incentives will help justify staying busy.It also allows you to pour your energy into work, working out, cleaning your house, etc., rather than seeking out emotional ties. , Avoid letting people get too close or control you with promises, pleas, or apologies.
Define the types of relationships you want to be in, and have only those relationships.
Be in control of how invested you are in any given relationship. , If you are overwhelmed by past traumas and cannot seem to let the emotion go, you may need the help of a professional psychologist.
Issues like chronic depression or anxiety should not be ignored.
Your therapist can help you decide what clinical approaches and/or medications might be appropriate to help you move past your emotional debt.
About the Author
Stephen Ryan
Writer and educator with a focus on practical home improvement knowledge.
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