How to Become Less of a Control Freak
Start with a foundation of strong self-esteem., Study literature and art that treat the topic of leadership through inspiration (rather than control)., As you learn, begin changing your thoughts to match those models you've encountered. , When you...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Start with a foundation of strong self-esteem.
Any approach at giving up control should come from self-awareness and a desire for well-being, rather than from anything else.
See esteem links below for more information.
Any attempt to change at the core in this way, without self-esteem, will lead to continual setbacks and depression.
It's not easy! -
Step 2: Study literature and art that treat the topic of leadership through inspiration (rather than control).
Writings such as Ben-Hur, the Koran, the Old and New Testaments, and Leadership and Self-Deception are excellent sources.
Movies might include "Bridge over the River Kwai"
"The Grinch Who Stole Christmas"
"Dead Poets Society"
and "The Cowboys".
Dance forms would include most Ballroom Dance styles, including the West Coast Swing, the Waltz, and the Cha-Cha; plays might include "Man of La Mancha (Don Quixote)".
Even "Star Trek" can show you inspiring leaders who aren't afraid to delegate critical responsibilities.
There's a lot out there. ,, Was it fear? Was it a lack of trust? A big part of control is a fear of vulnerability.
As you learn to open yourself up, you will find the connections with others that you have been missing. , The need to take over, to be the one in control is often rooted in the idea that others are not as capable as you.
Honestly evaluating your insecurity level will be crucial in gaining mastery over controlling attitudes. , Let things go and move on.
Nothing is going to be perfect, so you don't have to try for everything. , Horrible.
Like they're a child, and you're the adult, and you're in charge.
Getting told what to do is no fun; think about that.
It makes you come off as bossy and sort of mean. -
Step 3: As you learn
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Step 4: begin changing your thoughts to match those models you've encountered.
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Step 5: When you find yourself engaging in controlling behavior
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Step 6: look into yourself to see what motivated your actions.
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Step 7: Recognize that a lot of controlling behaviors are a result of insecurity.
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Step 8: Sometimes you just have to relax.
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Step 9: Think about how others feel when you boss them around.
Detailed Guide
Any approach at giving up control should come from self-awareness and a desire for well-being, rather than from anything else.
See esteem links below for more information.
Any attempt to change at the core in this way, without self-esteem, will lead to continual setbacks and depression.
It's not easy!
Writings such as Ben-Hur, the Koran, the Old and New Testaments, and Leadership and Self-Deception are excellent sources.
Movies might include "Bridge over the River Kwai"
"The Grinch Who Stole Christmas"
"Dead Poets Society"
and "The Cowboys".
Dance forms would include most Ballroom Dance styles, including the West Coast Swing, the Waltz, and the Cha-Cha; plays might include "Man of La Mancha (Don Quixote)".
Even "Star Trek" can show you inspiring leaders who aren't afraid to delegate critical responsibilities.
There's a lot out there. ,, Was it fear? Was it a lack of trust? A big part of control is a fear of vulnerability.
As you learn to open yourself up, you will find the connections with others that you have been missing. , The need to take over, to be the one in control is often rooted in the idea that others are not as capable as you.
Honestly evaluating your insecurity level will be crucial in gaining mastery over controlling attitudes. , Let things go and move on.
Nothing is going to be perfect, so you don't have to try for everything. , Horrible.
Like they're a child, and you're the adult, and you're in charge.
Getting told what to do is no fun; think about that.
It makes you come off as bossy and sort of mean.
About the Author
Gregory Stokes
Specializes in breaking down complex practical skills topics into simple steps.
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