How to Calm Down Quickly
Stop what you're doing., Re-focus your senses., Breathe., Relax your muscles., Distract yourself., Use self-soothing behaviors., Use soothing touch.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Stop what you're doing.
One of the best ways to calm down is to stop interacting with what’s upsetting you.
In the short term, this may mean telling the person you’re speaking with that you need to take a quick break.
If you’re with company, politely excuse yourself for a moment.
Get to a quiet place away from what’s upsetting you and focus on calming thoughts. , When we're anxious, upset, or angry, our bodies go into "flight or fight" mode.
Our sympathetic nervous system kicks our bodies into high gear by activating hormones like adrenaline.
These hormones boost your heart rate and breathing, tense your muscles, and constrict blood vessels.Take a break from what is causing this stress response and focus on what your body is experiencing.
This can help you stay in the present and reduce what's known as "automatic reactivity.""Automatic reactivity" happens when your brain forms habits of reacting to stimuli, such as stressors.
You brain activates these habitual pathways whenever it encounters that stimulus.
Studies have shown that breaking the circuit of this reaction by refocusing on what your sensory experiences actually are can help your brain make new “habits.”Don’t judge your experiences, just acknowledge them.
For example, if you’re really angry about something someone just said, your heart is probably beating faster, and your face may be flushed or feel hot.
Acknowledge these sensory details, but don’t judge them as being “wrong” or “right.”, When your body’s sympathetic nervous system is activated by stress, one of the first things to go is your calm, even breathing.
Focusing on breathing deeply and evenly has a host of benefits.
It restores oxygen to your body, regulates your brain’s brainwaves, and decreases the level of lactate in your blood.
These things help you feel calm and relaxed.Breathe from your diaphragm, not your upper chest.
If you place your hand on your belly just below your ribs, you should be able to feel your abdomen rise when you inhale and fall when you exhale.
Sit upright, stand, or lie flat on your back to help your chest stay open.
It’s harder to breathe when you’re slouched.
Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of
10.
You should feel your lungs and belly expand as they fill with air.
Then, slowly exhale through your nose or mouth.
Aim for 6-10 deep, cleansing breaths per minute.
Focus on the rhythm of your breathing.
Try not to let yourself get distracted by anything else, including how upset you might feel.
You can count your breaths if you feel yourself getting distracted, or repeat a calming word or phrase.As you breathe in, envision a beautiful golden light that represents love and acceptance.
Feel its relaxing warmth spread from your lungs to your heart, and then throughout your body.
As you slowly exhale, imagine that all of your stress is leaving your body.
Repeat 3 or 4 times. , When emotional or stress responses occur, your body’s muscles tense and tighten.
You may literally feel “wound up.” Progressive Muscle Relaxation, or PMR, can help you consciously release the tension in your body by tensing and then releasing particular muscle groups.
With a little practice, PMR can help you bust stress and anxiety very quickly.There are several free guided PMR routines available online.
MIT has a free eleven-minute audio guide to PMR.Find a quiet, comfortable place.
It should be relatively dark.
Lie down or sit comfortably.
Loosen or remove tight clothing.
Focus on a particular muscle group.
You can start at your toes and work up, or start with your forehead and work down.
Tense all the muscles in that group as hard as you can.
For example, if you’re starting with your head, raise your eyebrows as far as they will go and open your eyes wide.
Hold for 5 seconds, then release.
Squeeze your eyes shut tightly.
Hold for 5 seconds, then release.
Move to the next muscle group and tense those muscles.
For example, purse your lips tightly for 5 seconds, then release.
Then, smile as wide as you can for 5 seconds, then release.
Progress through the rest of your muscle groups, such as neck, shoulders, arms, chest, stomach, buttocks, thighs, lower legs, feet, and toes. , If you can, distract yourself from worrying over what has you upset.
If you allow yourself to focus on what has upset you, you could set off a cycle of ruminating, where you think the same thoughts over and over again.
Ruminating fosters anxiety and depressive symptoms.Distraction is not a long-term solution, but it can be a good way to get your mind off your troubles long enough for you to calm down.
Then, you can return to deal with the issue with a clear head.Chat with a friend.
Socializing with someone you love will help take your mind off what has upset you and will help you feel relaxed and loved.
Studies have shown that rats who are able to socialize with each other develop fewer ulcers from stress than rats who are all alone.Watch a happy movie or a funny TV show. “Silly humor” can help calm you down and get some distances from what’s upset you.
Try to keep away from bitter or sarcastic humor, however, as it may make you angrier, not less.Listen to some soothing music.
Find music with around 70 beats per minute (Classical and soft “New Age” pop like Enya are good choices).
Angry or driving beats may actually make you feel more upset, not less.Look at pictures that give you a lift.
Humans are biologically prone to find small things with big eyes
-- like puppies and babies
--- adorable.
Looking up some cute kitten pictures may actually inspire a chemical “happiness” reaction.Go somewhere and shake all your limbs, like a wet dog does. “Shaking it off” may help you feel better because it gives your brain new sensations to process., Self-soothing behaviors can help you reduce immediate feelings of stress and anxiety.
They focus on comforting and being kind to yourself.Take a warm bath or a hot shower.
Research has shown that physical warmth has a soothing effect on many people.Use calming essential oils, such as lavender and chamomile.Play with your pet.
Petting your dog or cat has a soothing effect and can even lower your blood pressure., When humans are touched with kindness, our bodies release oxytocin, a powerful mood elevator.While you can also get this boost from a friendly hug, you can also relax yourself with your own touch.
Put your hand over your heart.
Focus on the warmth of your skin and the beat of your heart.
Allow yourself to breathe slowly and evenly.
Feel your chest expand as you inhale and fall as you exhale.
Give yourself a hug.
Cross your arms over your chest and put your hands on your upper arms.
Give yourself a little squeeze.
Notice the warmth and pressure of your hands and arms.
Cup your face with your hands.
You can stroke the muscles of your jaw or near your eyes with your fingertips.
Run your hands through your hair.
Give yourself a scalp massage. -
Step 2: Re-focus your senses.
-
Step 3: Breathe.
-
Step 4: Relax your muscles.
-
Step 5: Distract yourself.
-
Step 6: Use self-soothing behaviors.
-
Step 7: Use soothing touch.
Detailed Guide
One of the best ways to calm down is to stop interacting with what’s upsetting you.
In the short term, this may mean telling the person you’re speaking with that you need to take a quick break.
If you’re with company, politely excuse yourself for a moment.
Get to a quiet place away from what’s upsetting you and focus on calming thoughts. , When we're anxious, upset, or angry, our bodies go into "flight or fight" mode.
Our sympathetic nervous system kicks our bodies into high gear by activating hormones like adrenaline.
These hormones boost your heart rate and breathing, tense your muscles, and constrict blood vessels.Take a break from what is causing this stress response and focus on what your body is experiencing.
This can help you stay in the present and reduce what's known as "automatic reactivity.""Automatic reactivity" happens when your brain forms habits of reacting to stimuli, such as stressors.
You brain activates these habitual pathways whenever it encounters that stimulus.
Studies have shown that breaking the circuit of this reaction by refocusing on what your sensory experiences actually are can help your brain make new “habits.”Don’t judge your experiences, just acknowledge them.
For example, if you’re really angry about something someone just said, your heart is probably beating faster, and your face may be flushed or feel hot.
Acknowledge these sensory details, but don’t judge them as being “wrong” or “right.”, When your body’s sympathetic nervous system is activated by stress, one of the first things to go is your calm, even breathing.
Focusing on breathing deeply and evenly has a host of benefits.
It restores oxygen to your body, regulates your brain’s brainwaves, and decreases the level of lactate in your blood.
These things help you feel calm and relaxed.Breathe from your diaphragm, not your upper chest.
If you place your hand on your belly just below your ribs, you should be able to feel your abdomen rise when you inhale and fall when you exhale.
Sit upright, stand, or lie flat on your back to help your chest stay open.
It’s harder to breathe when you’re slouched.
Inhale slowly through your nose for a count of
10.
You should feel your lungs and belly expand as they fill with air.
Then, slowly exhale through your nose or mouth.
Aim for 6-10 deep, cleansing breaths per minute.
Focus on the rhythm of your breathing.
Try not to let yourself get distracted by anything else, including how upset you might feel.
You can count your breaths if you feel yourself getting distracted, or repeat a calming word or phrase.As you breathe in, envision a beautiful golden light that represents love and acceptance.
Feel its relaxing warmth spread from your lungs to your heart, and then throughout your body.
As you slowly exhale, imagine that all of your stress is leaving your body.
Repeat 3 or 4 times. , When emotional or stress responses occur, your body’s muscles tense and tighten.
You may literally feel “wound up.” Progressive Muscle Relaxation, or PMR, can help you consciously release the tension in your body by tensing and then releasing particular muscle groups.
With a little practice, PMR can help you bust stress and anxiety very quickly.There are several free guided PMR routines available online.
MIT has a free eleven-minute audio guide to PMR.Find a quiet, comfortable place.
It should be relatively dark.
Lie down or sit comfortably.
Loosen or remove tight clothing.
Focus on a particular muscle group.
You can start at your toes and work up, or start with your forehead and work down.
Tense all the muscles in that group as hard as you can.
For example, if you’re starting with your head, raise your eyebrows as far as they will go and open your eyes wide.
Hold for 5 seconds, then release.
Squeeze your eyes shut tightly.
Hold for 5 seconds, then release.
Move to the next muscle group and tense those muscles.
For example, purse your lips tightly for 5 seconds, then release.
Then, smile as wide as you can for 5 seconds, then release.
Progress through the rest of your muscle groups, such as neck, shoulders, arms, chest, stomach, buttocks, thighs, lower legs, feet, and toes. , If you can, distract yourself from worrying over what has you upset.
If you allow yourself to focus on what has upset you, you could set off a cycle of ruminating, where you think the same thoughts over and over again.
Ruminating fosters anxiety and depressive symptoms.Distraction is not a long-term solution, but it can be a good way to get your mind off your troubles long enough for you to calm down.
Then, you can return to deal with the issue with a clear head.Chat with a friend.
Socializing with someone you love will help take your mind off what has upset you and will help you feel relaxed and loved.
Studies have shown that rats who are able to socialize with each other develop fewer ulcers from stress than rats who are all alone.Watch a happy movie or a funny TV show. “Silly humor” can help calm you down and get some distances from what’s upset you.
Try to keep away from bitter or sarcastic humor, however, as it may make you angrier, not less.Listen to some soothing music.
Find music with around 70 beats per minute (Classical and soft “New Age” pop like Enya are good choices).
Angry or driving beats may actually make you feel more upset, not less.Look at pictures that give you a lift.
Humans are biologically prone to find small things with big eyes
-- like puppies and babies
--- adorable.
Looking up some cute kitten pictures may actually inspire a chemical “happiness” reaction.Go somewhere and shake all your limbs, like a wet dog does. “Shaking it off” may help you feel better because it gives your brain new sensations to process., Self-soothing behaviors can help you reduce immediate feelings of stress and anxiety.
They focus on comforting and being kind to yourself.Take a warm bath or a hot shower.
Research has shown that physical warmth has a soothing effect on many people.Use calming essential oils, such as lavender and chamomile.Play with your pet.
Petting your dog or cat has a soothing effect and can even lower your blood pressure., When humans are touched with kindness, our bodies release oxytocin, a powerful mood elevator.While you can also get this boost from a friendly hug, you can also relax yourself with your own touch.
Put your hand over your heart.
Focus on the warmth of your skin and the beat of your heart.
Allow yourself to breathe slowly and evenly.
Feel your chest expand as you inhale and fall as you exhale.
Give yourself a hug.
Cross your arms over your chest and put your hands on your upper arms.
Give yourself a little squeeze.
Notice the warmth and pressure of your hands and arms.
Cup your face with your hands.
You can stroke the muscles of your jaw or near your eyes with your fingertips.
Run your hands through your hair.
Give yourself a scalp massage.
About the Author
Paul White
Paul White has dedicated 1 years to mastering engineering and technical solutions. As a content creator, Paul focuses on providing actionable tips and step-by-step guides.
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