How to Confront Prejudice Whenever You Hear It
Educate the perpetrator., Teach the perpetrator to empathize., Decide when to talk about the hurtful situation., Make your confrontation about their actions., Use simple comments., Listen to the speaker’s defense., Try not to overreact.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Educate the perpetrator.
If you’re in a setting where you believe the person making the prejudicial comments or actions will listen to you, such as a friend, then sit down with them and tell them that their words and behaviors have an impact on you.
If this person is a real friend, they will make an effort to change their thinking and actions.
If they don’t make any changes, they are not a true friend and you are better off without their negativity in your life.
Consider whether or not talking about your friend’s behavior will be best done alone or in a group, where you have others to back you up.You can start by saying something like, "Hey, what you said really hurt.
I understand why you might not have realized it, but this is something that we need to talk about." -
Step 2: Teach the perpetrator to empathize.
In addition to educating the perpetrator about how it makes you feel, you can teach them how to be more understanding, if they are open to it.
One way to do this is to explain to them why their remark or action hurt you by explaining your life experience.
When people understand where someone else is coming from, they are more able to relate.
When we can relate to someone else's experience, we tend to treat them more like we want to be treated.
Say something like, "Hey, I may not look like it, but I have the very thing that you were just making fun of.
Let me tell you how I deal with it."
It may be best to leave confrontation for a later time.
If a prejudicial action or comment caused a lot of anger in you, it may be best to wait until you have calmed down and you can confront the person without wanting to hurt them or punish them for their prejudiced behavior., Don’t make it personal.
When you blame someone personally for their response, they may become just as offended as you.
Keep your vocabulary focused on the actions of the person, not who they are.
Calling someone “racist” or “prejudiced” will only bring aggression into the equation, as this can hurt feelings and prevent them from listening to you.You could say, "Comments like that are kind of hurtful for people like me." You could also try, "When someone does that type of action, it's hard for me to keep from getting mad."
In social situations, a simple, “I’m sorry, did I miss something?” can reveal a prejudicial statement and stop someone from being rude to you.
This non-confrontational manner of pointing out prejudice can also help people see things from your point of view, and show that you are going to stand up for yourself instead of letting others treat you badly.
Just make sure you are genuine and aren’t using a sarcastic tone of voice. , When you are talking to someone about their prejudiced behavior, listening to their reasons helps them see things from your perspective.
That may seem counter-intuitive, but when you allow someone space to be themselves, you encourage them to do the same for you.
Also listen for the emotions behind their reasons.
People often make prejudicial statements when they are feeling threatened or frustrated, and understanding that a friend wouldn’t normally make such comments can help you forgive them., While reacting to negative situations is normal, overreacting is a problem.
It's inappropriate to react aggressively to a situation where someone has made a passing comment betraying their personal prejudice—be sure to express your anger appropriately.Overreacting can make a negative situation get worse, potentially leading to violence.
This happens when you react with aggression, and aggression is returned to you.
Say nothing.
Sometimes confronting prejudice means not reacting at all, especially when you sense that such a response would make a greater impact on the perpetrator.
In fact, reacting by controlling your response and calming down is an appropriate way to express anger.Not answering a direct question because it reveals a prejudice can make the speaker uncomfortable enough to ask you why you are silent.
Such silence may also make them think about what they said without you having to say anything. -
Step 3: Decide when to talk about the hurtful situation.
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Step 4: Make your confrontation about their actions.
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Step 5: Use simple comments.
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Step 6: Listen to the speaker’s defense.
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Step 7: Try not to overreact.
Detailed Guide
If you’re in a setting where you believe the person making the prejudicial comments or actions will listen to you, such as a friend, then sit down with them and tell them that their words and behaviors have an impact on you.
If this person is a real friend, they will make an effort to change their thinking and actions.
If they don’t make any changes, they are not a true friend and you are better off without their negativity in your life.
Consider whether or not talking about your friend’s behavior will be best done alone or in a group, where you have others to back you up.You can start by saying something like, "Hey, what you said really hurt.
I understand why you might not have realized it, but this is something that we need to talk about."
In addition to educating the perpetrator about how it makes you feel, you can teach them how to be more understanding, if they are open to it.
One way to do this is to explain to them why their remark or action hurt you by explaining your life experience.
When people understand where someone else is coming from, they are more able to relate.
When we can relate to someone else's experience, we tend to treat them more like we want to be treated.
Say something like, "Hey, I may not look like it, but I have the very thing that you were just making fun of.
Let me tell you how I deal with it."
It may be best to leave confrontation for a later time.
If a prejudicial action or comment caused a lot of anger in you, it may be best to wait until you have calmed down and you can confront the person without wanting to hurt them or punish them for their prejudiced behavior., Don’t make it personal.
When you blame someone personally for their response, they may become just as offended as you.
Keep your vocabulary focused on the actions of the person, not who they are.
Calling someone “racist” or “prejudiced” will only bring aggression into the equation, as this can hurt feelings and prevent them from listening to you.You could say, "Comments like that are kind of hurtful for people like me." You could also try, "When someone does that type of action, it's hard for me to keep from getting mad."
In social situations, a simple, “I’m sorry, did I miss something?” can reveal a prejudicial statement and stop someone from being rude to you.
This non-confrontational manner of pointing out prejudice can also help people see things from your point of view, and show that you are going to stand up for yourself instead of letting others treat you badly.
Just make sure you are genuine and aren’t using a sarcastic tone of voice. , When you are talking to someone about their prejudiced behavior, listening to their reasons helps them see things from your perspective.
That may seem counter-intuitive, but when you allow someone space to be themselves, you encourage them to do the same for you.
Also listen for the emotions behind their reasons.
People often make prejudicial statements when they are feeling threatened or frustrated, and understanding that a friend wouldn’t normally make such comments can help you forgive them., While reacting to negative situations is normal, overreacting is a problem.
It's inappropriate to react aggressively to a situation where someone has made a passing comment betraying their personal prejudice—be sure to express your anger appropriately.Overreacting can make a negative situation get worse, potentially leading to violence.
This happens when you react with aggression, and aggression is returned to you.
Say nothing.
Sometimes confronting prejudice means not reacting at all, especially when you sense that such a response would make a greater impact on the perpetrator.
In fact, reacting by controlling your response and calming down is an appropriate way to express anger.Not answering a direct question because it reveals a prejudice can make the speaker uncomfortable enough to ask you why you are silent.
Such silence may also make them think about what they said without you having to say anything.
About the Author
Alexander Gordon
A passionate writer with expertise in pet care topics. Loves sharing practical knowledge.
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