How to Convince a Reluctant Relative to Visit a Doctor
Don’t wait until a crisis., Approach the subject with care., State your concerns clearly and with love., Ask questions., Discuss the consequences of denial.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Don’t wait until a crisis.
The worst thing you can do is try to convince them to see a doctor when their health is in dire jeopardy.
If you do this, the decision may be made hastily and may not include your relative’s best interests.
Instead, start having the conversation early on.For example, a teenage relative becomes pregnant, but doesn’t trust that the doctor will respect her privacy.
She may fear they will tell her partner or her parents about the pregnancy.
You might want to start asking her about her prenatal care plan as soon as possible so that the baby can get proper care that the mother feels comfortable with.
Similarly, try to get your aging parents regular checkups before a problem arises.
That way, you will understand their wishes and be able to follow appropriate measures in the event of a serious health scare. -
Step 2: Approach the subject with care.
Don’t back them into a corner.
Cornering your loved one may make them even more resistant to help.
Have an easy-going conversation with no pressure.
Choose a time when you are both relaxed and able to talk without distractions.
Bring the subject up casually.
For example, you might say, “Mom, when was the last time you saw a doctor?” or “Jody had to leave early to take his dad to the clinic.
It made me remember that you haven’t gone in a while.” , If your loved one isn’t open to a casual suggestion, you will need to approach the discussion head-on.
Be clear and direct about your concerns, especially if their health is in a critical state.
You might say, “Mom, I can tell that your arthritis is getting worse.
You didn’t even get out of bed yesterday.
I love you and I am worried.
I would feel so much better if you saw a doctor.” Keep in mind that you may have to repeat this step several times before your loved one truly starts to consider your suggestions. , If your loved one continues to show reluctance about seeing a doctor, you may want to probe them for more information.
Figuring out where the root of their hesitation is can help you come up with a viable solution.
You might ask, “Do you not like your doctor?” or “Are you worried about something in particular?” You might also take a more straight-forward path by asking “Why don’t you want to see the doctor?”, In some cases, people may avoid seeing a doctor because they are not yet ready to accept the realities of a situation.
Maybe a loved one in remission for cancer starts losing weight or re-experiencing symptoms.
Perhaps an aging parent keeps forgetting things.
These people may be reluctant to see the doctor because the outcome is more than they can face at the moment.In such situations, you must make your loved one consider the consequences if they don’t take actions.
For instance, the cancer may return at full force if they don’t start treatment right away.
Or, a parent with memory loss may carelessly hurt themselves or get lost. -
Step 3: State your concerns clearly and with love.
-
Step 4: Ask questions.
-
Step 5: Discuss the consequences of denial.
Detailed Guide
The worst thing you can do is try to convince them to see a doctor when their health is in dire jeopardy.
If you do this, the decision may be made hastily and may not include your relative’s best interests.
Instead, start having the conversation early on.For example, a teenage relative becomes pregnant, but doesn’t trust that the doctor will respect her privacy.
She may fear they will tell her partner or her parents about the pregnancy.
You might want to start asking her about her prenatal care plan as soon as possible so that the baby can get proper care that the mother feels comfortable with.
Similarly, try to get your aging parents regular checkups before a problem arises.
That way, you will understand their wishes and be able to follow appropriate measures in the event of a serious health scare.
Don’t back them into a corner.
Cornering your loved one may make them even more resistant to help.
Have an easy-going conversation with no pressure.
Choose a time when you are both relaxed and able to talk without distractions.
Bring the subject up casually.
For example, you might say, “Mom, when was the last time you saw a doctor?” or “Jody had to leave early to take his dad to the clinic.
It made me remember that you haven’t gone in a while.” , If your loved one isn’t open to a casual suggestion, you will need to approach the discussion head-on.
Be clear and direct about your concerns, especially if their health is in a critical state.
You might say, “Mom, I can tell that your arthritis is getting worse.
You didn’t even get out of bed yesterday.
I love you and I am worried.
I would feel so much better if you saw a doctor.” Keep in mind that you may have to repeat this step several times before your loved one truly starts to consider your suggestions. , If your loved one continues to show reluctance about seeing a doctor, you may want to probe them for more information.
Figuring out where the root of their hesitation is can help you come up with a viable solution.
You might ask, “Do you not like your doctor?” or “Are you worried about something in particular?” You might also take a more straight-forward path by asking “Why don’t you want to see the doctor?”, In some cases, people may avoid seeing a doctor because they are not yet ready to accept the realities of a situation.
Maybe a loved one in remission for cancer starts losing weight or re-experiencing symptoms.
Perhaps an aging parent keeps forgetting things.
These people may be reluctant to see the doctor because the outcome is more than they can face at the moment.In such situations, you must make your loved one consider the consequences if they don’t take actions.
For instance, the cancer may return at full force if they don’t start treatment right away.
Or, a parent with memory loss may carelessly hurt themselves or get lost.
About the Author
Raymond Peterson
Writer and educator with a focus on practical lifestyle knowledge.
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