How to Cope when Someone You Care About Is Suicidal
Seek help., Take someone's thoughts of suicide seriously., Provide empathy., Know the warning signs., Ask someone openly about their suicidal thoughts., Do not attempt to handle the situation by yourself.
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Seek help.
If someone currently has thoughts of suicide, connecting them with a mental health crisis specialist is key.
Stay with the person you care about when they call to ask for help.Whether or not the person has an active plan to commit suicide, they likely need guidance from a professional to address their suicidal thoughts.
Be a "mental health first responder" and act a coordinator for this person's care.Treat someone's mental health crisis with the same level of urgency as someone having a seizure or a stroke.
Delaying in getting this person help could be a matter of life and death.
Call a suicide hotline.
In the US, you can connect with mental health crisis specialists at the National Suicide Prevention Helpline (1-800-273-8255, 24/7 access), http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.
Contact the person's healthcare provider or therapist if they are currently in treatment.
Call 9-1-1 and ask for an officer with mental health training.
If the person is able and willing, take the person to the nearest Emergency Room. -
Step 2: Take someone's thoughts of suicide seriously.
If someone states that they have thoughts of self-harm or suicide, do not minimize their feelings.
Take what they say seriously, as they are reaching out for help.
Don't ignore their feelings in order to avoid the subject of suicide.
Asking someone if they have thoughts of suicide or self-harm will not make someone more likely to carry out a suicide attempt.
Children and teens may express their feelings about suicide or depression differently than adults.
Be willing to listen to your child or teen, even if they are not talking about suicide specifically.
Think about if your child is withdrawing from other people and acting erratically.
Never see threats of suicide as just "typical teenage melodrama."Avoid reacting to their suicidal thoughts with shock or disapproval.
Avoid saying things like, "That's a ridiculous thing to say" or "Are you crazy?!"
Allow the person to talk about what is bothering them.
Be supportive and non-judgmental.
It is important to show them that you care and support them.Be gentle with your words and provide encouragement.
Say something like, "I'm here for you.
I'm sorry about what you're feeling." Approach someone who is suicidal as highly vulnerable.
Avoid making them feel bad about their emotions.
Provide validation rather than criticism.
Consider saying things like, "I see you must be really hurting inside."Give them a hug or hold their hand.
Show that you care for them. , Think about how the person you care about has been acting or behaving recently.
Try to learn about symptoms of suicidal thinking.
Everyone acts differently, but there are some common symptoms.
Consider these signs:
Talking about wanting to die or kill themselves.
Saying, "Death seems better than going through this." Looking for how to kill themselves, or the means to do so, such as searching online or buying a gun Feeling hopeless and stating they have no reason to live.
Saying things like, "I wonder how many people would come to my funeral if I died?" or "Everyone would be better off without me." Talking about being trapped and in severe pain.
Saying, "Sometimes I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up." Increasing their use of drugs or alcohol Acting agitated or behaving recklessly Withdrawing themselves from others, and saying things like, "nothing matters." Expressing rage or talking about wanting revenge Having an erratic sleep schedule such as too much or too little Having extreme mood swings , While it may seem difficult to talk about a sensitive subject such as suicide, this is an urgent matter that should be assessed without judgment.
Attempt to gain the facts of the situation and understand the person's thinking.
Ask these types of questions:"Are you feeling so badly that you are thinking of self-harm or suicide?" If yes or if the person hesitates to answer no, then ask, "Have you thought about how you would do it?" If yes, then ask, "Do you have what you need to do it?" If yes, then ask, "Have you thought about when you want to do this?" The more that someone has answered yes, and the more detailed they are in their plan, the more at risk they are.
Do not delay in seeking emergency assistance for this person. , Avoid attempting to resolve the situation yourself and then leave them.
If you are not a trained mental health professional, you should not be acting as their only counselor.
Avoid leaving them alone when you go to seek help.
Try to get the additional help to come to you and the person you care about.
While attempting to get help, find out if other people can assist in providing empathy and support to the person you care about.
Make sure that these people are non-judgmental of the situation. -
Step 3: Provide empathy.
-
Step 4: Know the warning signs.
-
Step 5: Ask someone openly about their suicidal thoughts.
-
Step 6: Do not attempt to handle the situation by yourself.
Detailed Guide
If someone currently has thoughts of suicide, connecting them with a mental health crisis specialist is key.
Stay with the person you care about when they call to ask for help.Whether or not the person has an active plan to commit suicide, they likely need guidance from a professional to address their suicidal thoughts.
Be a "mental health first responder" and act a coordinator for this person's care.Treat someone's mental health crisis with the same level of urgency as someone having a seizure or a stroke.
Delaying in getting this person help could be a matter of life and death.
Call a suicide hotline.
In the US, you can connect with mental health crisis specialists at the National Suicide Prevention Helpline (1-800-273-8255, 24/7 access), http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/.
Contact the person's healthcare provider or therapist if they are currently in treatment.
Call 9-1-1 and ask for an officer with mental health training.
If the person is able and willing, take the person to the nearest Emergency Room.
If someone states that they have thoughts of self-harm or suicide, do not minimize their feelings.
Take what they say seriously, as they are reaching out for help.
Don't ignore their feelings in order to avoid the subject of suicide.
Asking someone if they have thoughts of suicide or self-harm will not make someone more likely to carry out a suicide attempt.
Children and teens may express their feelings about suicide or depression differently than adults.
Be willing to listen to your child or teen, even if they are not talking about suicide specifically.
Think about if your child is withdrawing from other people and acting erratically.
Never see threats of suicide as just "typical teenage melodrama."Avoid reacting to their suicidal thoughts with shock or disapproval.
Avoid saying things like, "That's a ridiculous thing to say" or "Are you crazy?!"
Allow the person to talk about what is bothering them.
Be supportive and non-judgmental.
It is important to show them that you care and support them.Be gentle with your words and provide encouragement.
Say something like, "I'm here for you.
I'm sorry about what you're feeling." Approach someone who is suicidal as highly vulnerable.
Avoid making them feel bad about their emotions.
Provide validation rather than criticism.
Consider saying things like, "I see you must be really hurting inside."Give them a hug or hold their hand.
Show that you care for them. , Think about how the person you care about has been acting or behaving recently.
Try to learn about symptoms of suicidal thinking.
Everyone acts differently, but there are some common symptoms.
Consider these signs:
Talking about wanting to die or kill themselves.
Saying, "Death seems better than going through this." Looking for how to kill themselves, or the means to do so, such as searching online or buying a gun Feeling hopeless and stating they have no reason to live.
Saying things like, "I wonder how many people would come to my funeral if I died?" or "Everyone would be better off without me." Talking about being trapped and in severe pain.
Saying, "Sometimes I wish I could just go to sleep and never wake up." Increasing their use of drugs or alcohol Acting agitated or behaving recklessly Withdrawing themselves from others, and saying things like, "nothing matters." Expressing rage or talking about wanting revenge Having an erratic sleep schedule such as too much or too little Having extreme mood swings , While it may seem difficult to talk about a sensitive subject such as suicide, this is an urgent matter that should be assessed without judgment.
Attempt to gain the facts of the situation and understand the person's thinking.
Ask these types of questions:"Are you feeling so badly that you are thinking of self-harm or suicide?" If yes or if the person hesitates to answer no, then ask, "Have you thought about how you would do it?" If yes, then ask, "Do you have what you need to do it?" If yes, then ask, "Have you thought about when you want to do this?" The more that someone has answered yes, and the more detailed they are in their plan, the more at risk they are.
Do not delay in seeking emergency assistance for this person. , Avoid attempting to resolve the situation yourself and then leave them.
If you are not a trained mental health professional, you should not be acting as their only counselor.
Avoid leaving them alone when you go to seek help.
Try to get the additional help to come to you and the person you care about.
While attempting to get help, find out if other people can assist in providing empathy and support to the person you care about.
Make sure that these people are non-judgmental of the situation.
About the Author
David Pierce
Specializes in breaking down complex creative arts topics into simple steps.
Rate This Guide
How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: