How to Cope when You Feel Left Out

Understand why being left out hurts., Remind yourself that rejection is a small part of life., Be realistic.

3 Steps 2 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Understand why being left out hurts.

    Feeling left out is usually the result of being excluded or rejected by a group of people that you want to like and accept you.

    You may feel left out because you have been excluded and/or rejected by a group of friends or coworkers.

    It is normal to feel pain when you are excluded or rejected because we are all in need of social belonging.

    We are social beings and when our needs are not met, we experience pain and sadness.But just because it’s normal to feel pain when you are rejected doesn’t make it hurt any less, so it is important to develop strategies for coping with rejection.

    Recent research has found that your brain processes pain from rejection the same way it would process physical pain, such as having a broken arm.Social rejection can bring on feelings of anger, anxiety, depression, sadness, and jealousy.Researchers have even found that is painful to be rejected by groups we don’t like!
  2. Step 2: Remind yourself that rejection is a small part of life.

    Everyone feels left out from time to time.

    Unless you've fallen out with, or upset your loved ones somehow, being left out is unlikely to be a regular occurrence.

    You may take comfort in knowing that the rejection you have just experienced is temporary and that you will not have to feel rejected all of the time., Sometimes we may feel left out when we don’t have a good reason to feel this way.

    In order to determine if you should feel left out, it is important to be realistic about the situation.

    Being realistic means looking at the situation from all angles.

    Consider all aspects of the situation including yourself, others involved, and even the environment.To help you be more realistic about the situation, it is helpful to do the following:
    Look for evidence that you’ve been left out.

    Does the evidence support your feelings? Ask yourself if there may have been another reason someone acted in a way that made you feel left out? Maybe they had something else on their mind, or had to get somewhere in a hurry.

    Is my perception of this situation based on my emotions or on what actually happened?Ask an unbiased person if your estimation of the situation is accurate.

    Assume the best intentions of others until you have evidence otherwise.
  3. Step 3: Be realistic.

Detailed Guide

Feeling left out is usually the result of being excluded or rejected by a group of people that you want to like and accept you.

You may feel left out because you have been excluded and/or rejected by a group of friends or coworkers.

It is normal to feel pain when you are excluded or rejected because we are all in need of social belonging.

We are social beings and when our needs are not met, we experience pain and sadness.But just because it’s normal to feel pain when you are rejected doesn’t make it hurt any less, so it is important to develop strategies for coping with rejection.

Recent research has found that your brain processes pain from rejection the same way it would process physical pain, such as having a broken arm.Social rejection can bring on feelings of anger, anxiety, depression, sadness, and jealousy.Researchers have even found that is painful to be rejected by groups we don’t like!

Everyone feels left out from time to time.

Unless you've fallen out with, or upset your loved ones somehow, being left out is unlikely to be a regular occurrence.

You may take comfort in knowing that the rejection you have just experienced is temporary and that you will not have to feel rejected all of the time., Sometimes we may feel left out when we don’t have a good reason to feel this way.

In order to determine if you should feel left out, it is important to be realistic about the situation.

Being realistic means looking at the situation from all angles.

Consider all aspects of the situation including yourself, others involved, and even the environment.To help you be more realistic about the situation, it is helpful to do the following:
Look for evidence that you’ve been left out.

Does the evidence support your feelings? Ask yourself if there may have been another reason someone acted in a way that made you feel left out? Maybe they had something else on their mind, or had to get somewhere in a hurry.

Is my perception of this situation based on my emotions or on what actually happened?Ask an unbiased person if your estimation of the situation is accurate.

Assume the best intentions of others until you have evidence otherwise.

About the Author

K

Kathleen Stokes

Experienced content creator specializing in crafts guides and tutorials.

35 articles
View all articles

Rate This Guide

--
Loading...
5
0
4
0
3
0
2
0
1
0

How helpful was this guide? Click to rate: