How to Cope with Receiving Anonymous Letters
Ignore the letter., Getting upset by the contents of an anonymous letter gives the author power., Dispose of the letter., Ponder the contents of the letter., Try to figure out who sent the letter., Determine the seriousness of the letter., Confront...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Ignore the letter.
One way to deal with an anonymous letter is to ignore it.
Some people do not believe that criticism passed through an anonymous platform is worth any attention., If you have received anonymous hate, don't post about it on social media and try to call them out.
Don't address the office, or send e-mails to people you know accusing them of sending you anonymous letters.
This validates the anonymous sender because they realize they got to you.
It may also cause the author to send you more messages if they know they have gotten to you., Instead of keeping the letter, get rid of it.
Throw it away, shred it, tear it up, burn it
- whatever you feel you need to do.
If you receive an anonymous e-mail or social media message, delete it.
Holding on to the letter keeps it around, giving it power over your mind.
If you toss it out, you also toss it out of your mind.
If the letter contains false or potentially libellous or defamatory information, you could consider destroying the letter by shredding, tearing, or burning.
However, it may be advisable to keep the letter in case you wish to show it to a lawyer or the authorities as evidence of threats or harassment.
Bear in mind, however, that information would only be defamatory if it is not true. , Take some time to examine what the letter said.
Ask yourself:
Why would someone send this to me? For example, people who find out about an affair often want to let the betrayed partner know but are worried about 'shooting the messenger. ' If you receive a letter like this, try not to dwell on who wrote the letter but look at the details provided and think about whether the information could be true.
If the letter contains criticism of your personality, appearance, or work habits, confront those criticisms.
Do they have any merit? Is there something you can learn from this anonymous letter and change about yourself? Can you take this as a wake up call in some way?, If you really want to get to the bottom of who sends you an anonymous letter, try to figure out who sent it.
Narrow it down by the subject of the letter
- if it's about work, the letter more than likely came from a co-worker.
If it's about your barking dog, the letter is probably from a neighbor who lives nearby.
If it's more general, try to decide who might have a problem with you or something you have done.
Have you had any confrontations or disagreements with someone recently? Are you in a high-profile position in your company, community, or other organization that might make you a target for criticism?Sometimes, clues about the writer's identity can be found in the letter itself.
Look at the grammar and mechanics usage.
Analyze the language being used; sometimes this might help you decide if the person is older or younger, or even what profession they might have.
Are there signature words used in the letter that may help lead you to the author? Did they sign it with a nominative like "A friend," "A concerned neighbor," or "An angry mother"? These aren't foolproof ways of discovering the identity, but it might help you get started.
Often, the senders of anonymous hate are people close to you, like friends, family members, co-workers, neighbors, and people in the same organizations. , Evaluate if the letter is random, generic hate, or a serious anonymous allegation that needs to be addressed.
This might be especially important if you receive an anonymous letter related to your place of employment.
Decide if the letter is outlining something serious enough to be addressed.
Think about the specifics of the letter.
Does it name times, dates, and specific details? This might give the letter some credit; however, it could also be falsified information.
Is there a reason this information might be sent through an anonymous letter instead of in person? Would the writer of the letter risk harm, ridicule, or negative consequences if they came forward? Is the language abusive, hateful in nature, or overly negative and critical? If so, this might be a spiteful, angry letter that doesn't need to be taken seriously., In some instances, the letter might accuse people of doing something that you can't forget.
You have two options in this scenario: forget what you read or confront the person.
Make sure to listen carefully and openly to what they say without your own prejudices based on the contents of the letter.
However, look for any inconsistencies in behavior or signals that they may be eluding the truth.
The exception to this rule is if you get a letter accusing your spouse of cheating on you.
In such a scenario, it is usually recommended that you do NOT raise the issue with your spouse while you quietly look into the matter carefully, so they do not cover their tracks.
It is relatively easy to deceive a trusting partner, and sometimes an anonymous letter is the first sign that there might be cause for you to investigate further. -
Step 2: Getting upset by the contents of an anonymous letter gives the author power.
-
Step 3: Dispose of the letter.
-
Step 4: Ponder the contents of the letter.
-
Step 5: Try to figure out who sent the letter.
-
Step 6: Determine the seriousness of the letter.
-
Step 7: Confront the problem.
Detailed Guide
One way to deal with an anonymous letter is to ignore it.
Some people do not believe that criticism passed through an anonymous platform is worth any attention., If you have received anonymous hate, don't post about it on social media and try to call them out.
Don't address the office, or send e-mails to people you know accusing them of sending you anonymous letters.
This validates the anonymous sender because they realize they got to you.
It may also cause the author to send you more messages if they know they have gotten to you., Instead of keeping the letter, get rid of it.
Throw it away, shred it, tear it up, burn it
- whatever you feel you need to do.
If you receive an anonymous e-mail or social media message, delete it.
Holding on to the letter keeps it around, giving it power over your mind.
If you toss it out, you also toss it out of your mind.
If the letter contains false or potentially libellous or defamatory information, you could consider destroying the letter by shredding, tearing, or burning.
However, it may be advisable to keep the letter in case you wish to show it to a lawyer or the authorities as evidence of threats or harassment.
Bear in mind, however, that information would only be defamatory if it is not true. , Take some time to examine what the letter said.
Ask yourself:
Why would someone send this to me? For example, people who find out about an affair often want to let the betrayed partner know but are worried about 'shooting the messenger. ' If you receive a letter like this, try not to dwell on who wrote the letter but look at the details provided and think about whether the information could be true.
If the letter contains criticism of your personality, appearance, or work habits, confront those criticisms.
Do they have any merit? Is there something you can learn from this anonymous letter and change about yourself? Can you take this as a wake up call in some way?, If you really want to get to the bottom of who sends you an anonymous letter, try to figure out who sent it.
Narrow it down by the subject of the letter
- if it's about work, the letter more than likely came from a co-worker.
If it's about your barking dog, the letter is probably from a neighbor who lives nearby.
If it's more general, try to decide who might have a problem with you or something you have done.
Have you had any confrontations or disagreements with someone recently? Are you in a high-profile position in your company, community, or other organization that might make you a target for criticism?Sometimes, clues about the writer's identity can be found in the letter itself.
Look at the grammar and mechanics usage.
Analyze the language being used; sometimes this might help you decide if the person is older or younger, or even what profession they might have.
Are there signature words used in the letter that may help lead you to the author? Did they sign it with a nominative like "A friend," "A concerned neighbor," or "An angry mother"? These aren't foolproof ways of discovering the identity, but it might help you get started.
Often, the senders of anonymous hate are people close to you, like friends, family members, co-workers, neighbors, and people in the same organizations. , Evaluate if the letter is random, generic hate, or a serious anonymous allegation that needs to be addressed.
This might be especially important if you receive an anonymous letter related to your place of employment.
Decide if the letter is outlining something serious enough to be addressed.
Think about the specifics of the letter.
Does it name times, dates, and specific details? This might give the letter some credit; however, it could also be falsified information.
Is there a reason this information might be sent through an anonymous letter instead of in person? Would the writer of the letter risk harm, ridicule, or negative consequences if they came forward? Is the language abusive, hateful in nature, or overly negative and critical? If so, this might be a spiteful, angry letter that doesn't need to be taken seriously., In some instances, the letter might accuse people of doing something that you can't forget.
You have two options in this scenario: forget what you read or confront the person.
Make sure to listen carefully and openly to what they say without your own prejudices based on the contents of the letter.
However, look for any inconsistencies in behavior or signals that they may be eluding the truth.
The exception to this rule is if you get a letter accusing your spouse of cheating on you.
In such a scenario, it is usually recommended that you do NOT raise the issue with your spouse while you quietly look into the matter carefully, so they do not cover their tracks.
It is relatively easy to deceive a trusting partner, and sometimes an anonymous letter is the first sign that there might be cause for you to investigate further.
About the Author
Jacqueline Carter
Enthusiastic about teaching home improvement techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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