How to Deal with a Fear of Loneliness

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Think about what scares you.

   To deal with a fear of loneliness, it is important to be willing to examine the fear and understand it as well as you can.
   
   Doing this can help you to identify unrealistic ideas and negative thought patterns that might be driving the fear.
   
   Take some time to think about your fear of loneliness and look at the specific things that you are worried about.
   
   For example, do you worry about being lonely because of the negative feelings it will cause? Or do you worry about not achieving certain personal milestones because of being alone and lonely? Or, are you worried about what other people will think of you if you end up alone? What does loneliness mean to you? Why is it such a bad thing? Take some time to write down your fears and be as specific as possible about what you fear and why.
   
   For example, you might consider whether being alone is what you are really afraid of? Does the fear go deeper? Are you afraid of going through your life alone? Are you afraid of dying? Why do these things scare you?
2. 2

   Step 2: Identify ways that your fear may be affecting you.

   Many people fear things that might actually hurt them, but your fear might be a phobia if it is irrational and interferes with your life in a noticeable way.Take some time to think about how your fears are affecting you on a daily basis or how they might be driving some of your decisions.
   
   For example, a fear of loneliness may cause you to book lots of activities throughout the week so that you rarely have to spend time alone.
   
   However, your fear of loneliness might be considered a phobia if it causes you to have severe distress or panic attacks when you are facing any time alone. , Unrealistic thinking may be part of what is driving your fear of loneliness.
   
   To stop unrealistic thinking patterns from dominating your mind and driving your fears, try to learn how to reframe your thoughts.
   
   One option is to turn unrealistic thinking into questions.
   
   For example, you might think to yourself, “I will be alone for the rest of my life!” To challenge this thought, you can ask questions about it.
   
   You might ask, “What is my evidence for that?” “Is this really a realistic outcome?” “What other outcomes are more likely?”Another option is to use self-talk to reframe an unrealistic thought.
   
   You can do this by immediately responding to any unrealistic thoughts with more realistic thoughts.For example, if you catch yourself thinking, “I will always be a loner,” then you might replace it with “I am kind, intelligent, and fun to be around.
   
   I can make friends if I want to.” , Discussing your fears can be therapeutic and it can also help you to understand them better.
   
   If you have never talked with anyone about your fear of loneliness, try opening up to a trusted friend or family member about them.
   
   You might even find that your friend or family member has experienced similar fears, which can be relieving and may provide you with some comfort. , Feeling like you can handle anything that comes your way may also help you to deal with a fear of loneliness.
   
   Improving your self-efficacy takes time, but some things that might help include:
   Engage in activities that you are good at.
   
   Doing things that you already know you can do well may help to boost your sense of self-efficacy.
   
   For example, if you are good at writing, then look for more opportunities to write.
   
   If you are good at running, then sign up for a 5K or half marathon.
   
   Control anxiety.
   
   Keeping your anxiety under control may also help you to feel more confident in your abilities.
   
   Try to focus on the positive in situations where you might feel anxious.
   
   Reflect on your successes.
   
   Looking back on times when you have succeeded at something may help to build your sense of self-efficacy.
   
   Try making a list of your past successes, such as graduating from high school, winning an award, or getting a promotion at work.
   
   Find someone to look up to.
   
   Having a role model can also help you to build self-efficacy.
   
   Try to find a peer or someone who is a few years older than you who has been successful in some way.
   
   For example, you might choose a coworker, a friend, or even a celebrity.
   
   Look at how they succeeded at what they wanted to accomplish and think about how you can model your behavior after their. , If your fear of loneliness is so severe that it is affecting your daily life or causing your significant distress, then you may want to consider seeking the help of a licensed mental health professional.A therapist can help you to understand your fears, work through them, and find healthy ways of coping with them.
3. 3

   Step 3: Challenge unhelpful thought patterns.

4. 4

   Step 4: Talk with a friend about your fears.

5. 5

   Step 5: Work on improving your self-efficacy.

6. 6

   Step 6: Consider seeking help for severe fears.

Detailed Guide

About the Author