How to Deal with a Hoarder
Recognize hoarding behaviors., Understand underlying issues that lead to hoarding., Check on the hoarder frequently., Identify the problem., State your concerns in a non-judgmental manner., Ask for permission to help., Ask questions about the...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Recognize hoarding behaviors.
People who struggle with excessive hoarding save excessive items in a disorganized manner, often creating a dangerous living environment.
People who hoard are often unable to discard any items, even if they have no monetary value.
They save these items out of sentimentality or due to fear that they may need the item in the future.Hoarders often create rooms in their homes that can no longer be used as they are intended due to an accumulation of clutter.
Hoarders often collect newspapers, magazines, brochures, and other documents that contain information so that they can read and digest the information at a later date, but many do not get around to actually reading the papers.
Hoarders attach strong emotions to objects and feel that possessions offer them a sense of comfort or security.
They may feel as though letting go of a possession is losing a part of themselves. -
Step 2: Understand underlying issues that lead to hoarding.
The reasons behind hoarding vary from person to person, but hoarders consistently show an emotional or psychological connection to the items.
They also exhibit a resistance to thinking or talking about the extent of the clutter., If you do not live with the hoarder, be sure to stop by to check on and socialize with him when you can.
You should use your visits to determine whether conditions are improving or worsening.
You may need to evaluate whether the hoarder has reached a point of being a danger to himself. , Many hoarders may admit to being “pack rats” or wanting to keep things, but they do not understand concerns about health or safety.
They may not see their behavior as problematic, and often do not realize the impact that their behaviors have on others. , You should communicate your concerns for the hoarder’s health and safety, but try not to sound judgmental.Try focusing on the health risks, including mold, dust, and cleanliness.
You can also focus on environmental safety, pointing out fire hazards and blocked exits.
Try not to spend too much time focusing on the clutter or objects themselves, as this will likely cause the hoarder to become defensive.
For example, you might say “I care about you, and I am concerned for your safety.
The apartment has become quite dusty and moldy, and because of the large piles everywhere, I don’t think you could get out quickly and safely in an emergency.” , Organizing or throwing away items without the hoarder’s permission can give him serious anxiety.Instead, assure him that no one is going to enter his home and throw away his things.
Offer to help sort through items or seek input from a professional organizer.
Ultimately, the hoarder needs to maintain control of the decision making about what to do with items.
Try to use the language the hoarder uses to refer to the clutter.
If the hoarder call the items his collection or his things, mirror the language he uses to seem more non-confrontational. , You can gather information and try to help the hoarder by finding out more about how and why he has saved and organized the items in his possession.
Try to enforce the hoarder’s feeling of control; remember, you’re trying to help, not tell him what to do.
Some examples of questions to ask include: “I notice there are a lot of books in the hallway.
Why did you decide to put them there?” “I’m concerned these could be a tripping hazard in an emergency.
Do you have somewhere else we could put them?” “Do you have any thoughts about how we could make this area safer?” , Productive goals that will help the hoarder will focus on improving the quality of life and the functionality of the living space.
Be sure to make the goals measurable.
Do not focus the goals on negatives (get rid of all of this junk).
Do not set vague goals like “get the house clean and organized.” A better goal would be “clear the hallway and make all exit doors easily accessible.” Start with the bigger concerns about health and safety, then move on to smaller goals that will improve quality of life. , It is important to be gentle and patient when working with a hoarder.
Remember that hoarding is an emotional issue, and simply cleaning for a hoarder does not solve a long-term problem.
You also risk violating the trust of the hoarder and losing any ground you may have gained with him.
Do not nag, force, or punish someone who is struggling with hoarding.
Do not argue or yell at a person who is hoarding.
Instead, try to team up with him to work towards a goal together., Whenever the hoarder makes an effort to improve an area, praise him for his progress.
You may notice a small area that has been de-cluttered or be able to see a patch of wall that wasn’t visible before.
No matter how small the improvement is, it should elicit praise and positivity from you. , While it can be difficult to externally motivate someone, you may be able to find a way for the hoarder to become motivated to improve.
For example, you might suggest that he can host a party or a social gathering.
This may encourage him to improve his living area before other people come over. , A person who struggles with hoarding may not have the skills to organize and sort items themselves.
If he is open to help, offer to help him organize and sort through items.
You may want to gather storage containers, shelving units, boxes, and labels before you start.
Start by labeling boxes or bags with “keep,” “trash,” and “donate.” You probably need to make a space to pile items to think about or come back to.
Group similar items together.
Seeing a large quantity of a single thing may help the hoarder make peace with reducing the number of a specific item.
For example, if he has 100 boxes of tissue, he may be willing to reduce the number of boxes to
50.
This is a small step, but it will help.
Categorize “want” and “don’t want.” You can start the “don’t want” pile with something that is an easier decision, like food items that have expired or dead plants.
Discuss where things that are to be kept will go.
This may be a specific room in the house or a storage unit. , Two key indications of hoarding are social or occupational impairment and an unsafe living environment.
Left unchecked, hoarding can lead to an increasingly unsafe environment, health concerns, financial consequences, and strained relationships.Specific hazards that can result from hoarding include: blocked exits creating fire hazards or building code violations increased health risk for environmental irritants such as mold and dust as well health code violations decreased hygienic habits due to inability to perform hygienic tasks such as bathing increased isolation and avoidance of socializing strained family relationships, child neglect, and separation or divorce , The process of cleaning and organizing a huge accumulation of items will take a significant amount of time.
This is not a problem that can be fixed in one day.
It will take a long period of small, persistent efforts to organize a hoarder’s home. -
Step 3: Check on the hoarder frequently.
-
Step 4: Identify the problem.
-
Step 5: State your concerns in a non-judgmental manner.
-
Step 6: Ask for permission to help.
-
Step 7: Ask questions about the collected items.
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Step 8: Help the hoarder establish goals.
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Step 9: Avoid causing distress.
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Step 10: Praise improvements.
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Step 11: Find a motivation to improve.
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Step 12: Develop a plan.
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Step 13: Know the consequences of extended hoarding.
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Step 14: Give it time.
Detailed Guide
People who struggle with excessive hoarding save excessive items in a disorganized manner, often creating a dangerous living environment.
People who hoard are often unable to discard any items, even if they have no monetary value.
They save these items out of sentimentality or due to fear that they may need the item in the future.Hoarders often create rooms in their homes that can no longer be used as they are intended due to an accumulation of clutter.
Hoarders often collect newspapers, magazines, brochures, and other documents that contain information so that they can read and digest the information at a later date, but many do not get around to actually reading the papers.
Hoarders attach strong emotions to objects and feel that possessions offer them a sense of comfort or security.
They may feel as though letting go of a possession is losing a part of themselves.
The reasons behind hoarding vary from person to person, but hoarders consistently show an emotional or psychological connection to the items.
They also exhibit a resistance to thinking or talking about the extent of the clutter., If you do not live with the hoarder, be sure to stop by to check on and socialize with him when you can.
You should use your visits to determine whether conditions are improving or worsening.
You may need to evaluate whether the hoarder has reached a point of being a danger to himself. , Many hoarders may admit to being “pack rats” or wanting to keep things, but they do not understand concerns about health or safety.
They may not see their behavior as problematic, and often do not realize the impact that their behaviors have on others. , You should communicate your concerns for the hoarder’s health and safety, but try not to sound judgmental.Try focusing on the health risks, including mold, dust, and cleanliness.
You can also focus on environmental safety, pointing out fire hazards and blocked exits.
Try not to spend too much time focusing on the clutter or objects themselves, as this will likely cause the hoarder to become defensive.
For example, you might say “I care about you, and I am concerned for your safety.
The apartment has become quite dusty and moldy, and because of the large piles everywhere, I don’t think you could get out quickly and safely in an emergency.” , Organizing or throwing away items without the hoarder’s permission can give him serious anxiety.Instead, assure him that no one is going to enter his home and throw away his things.
Offer to help sort through items or seek input from a professional organizer.
Ultimately, the hoarder needs to maintain control of the decision making about what to do with items.
Try to use the language the hoarder uses to refer to the clutter.
If the hoarder call the items his collection or his things, mirror the language he uses to seem more non-confrontational. , You can gather information and try to help the hoarder by finding out more about how and why he has saved and organized the items in his possession.
Try to enforce the hoarder’s feeling of control; remember, you’re trying to help, not tell him what to do.
Some examples of questions to ask include: “I notice there are a lot of books in the hallway.
Why did you decide to put them there?” “I’m concerned these could be a tripping hazard in an emergency.
Do you have somewhere else we could put them?” “Do you have any thoughts about how we could make this area safer?” , Productive goals that will help the hoarder will focus on improving the quality of life and the functionality of the living space.
Be sure to make the goals measurable.
Do not focus the goals on negatives (get rid of all of this junk).
Do not set vague goals like “get the house clean and organized.” A better goal would be “clear the hallway and make all exit doors easily accessible.” Start with the bigger concerns about health and safety, then move on to smaller goals that will improve quality of life. , It is important to be gentle and patient when working with a hoarder.
Remember that hoarding is an emotional issue, and simply cleaning for a hoarder does not solve a long-term problem.
You also risk violating the trust of the hoarder and losing any ground you may have gained with him.
Do not nag, force, or punish someone who is struggling with hoarding.
Do not argue or yell at a person who is hoarding.
Instead, try to team up with him to work towards a goal together., Whenever the hoarder makes an effort to improve an area, praise him for his progress.
You may notice a small area that has been de-cluttered or be able to see a patch of wall that wasn’t visible before.
No matter how small the improvement is, it should elicit praise and positivity from you. , While it can be difficult to externally motivate someone, you may be able to find a way for the hoarder to become motivated to improve.
For example, you might suggest that he can host a party or a social gathering.
This may encourage him to improve his living area before other people come over. , A person who struggles with hoarding may not have the skills to organize and sort items themselves.
If he is open to help, offer to help him organize and sort through items.
You may want to gather storage containers, shelving units, boxes, and labels before you start.
Start by labeling boxes or bags with “keep,” “trash,” and “donate.” You probably need to make a space to pile items to think about or come back to.
Group similar items together.
Seeing a large quantity of a single thing may help the hoarder make peace with reducing the number of a specific item.
For example, if he has 100 boxes of tissue, he may be willing to reduce the number of boxes to
50.
This is a small step, but it will help.
Categorize “want” and “don’t want.” You can start the “don’t want” pile with something that is an easier decision, like food items that have expired or dead plants.
Discuss where things that are to be kept will go.
This may be a specific room in the house or a storage unit. , Two key indications of hoarding are social or occupational impairment and an unsafe living environment.
Left unchecked, hoarding can lead to an increasingly unsafe environment, health concerns, financial consequences, and strained relationships.Specific hazards that can result from hoarding include: blocked exits creating fire hazards or building code violations increased health risk for environmental irritants such as mold and dust as well health code violations decreased hygienic habits due to inability to perform hygienic tasks such as bathing increased isolation and avoidance of socializing strained family relationships, child neglect, and separation or divorce , The process of cleaning and organizing a huge accumulation of items will take a significant amount of time.
This is not a problem that can be fixed in one day.
It will take a long period of small, persistent efforts to organize a hoarder’s home.
About the Author
Andrea James
Professional writer focused on creating easy-to-follow practical skills tutorials.
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