How to Deal With Being Picked On
Remain calm., Don't retaliate., Stand up for yourself., Ignore the teasing., Recognize bullying.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Remain calm.
Teasing may make you feel many uncomfortable emotions like anger or anxiety.
Try not to react from a place of fear or frustration.
Crying, fighting back, or insulting the other person is often the reaction that a bully wants from you.
Remove yourself from the situation if at all possible.
This will often de-escalate the situation immediately.
If you do become angry, take a deep breath and count to
10.
Try to relax your whole body as much as possible.
If you find that you must say something, use a short word that doesn’t escalate the situation.
Try saying, “Whatever,” and move on.
Refocus your attention on something positive.
If you are feeling upset, look for something or someone that makes you feel safe and happy. -
Step 2: Don't retaliate.
As much as you might want fight back, it's important that you keep composure.
Starting a physical fight can get you in serious trouble.
Insulting a bully can often further provoke them and make the situation worse.
Don't stoop to their level.
Name-calling, harassing, picking on, or starting rumors about your bullies puts you in the same boat as them.
Acting more mature than them gives you the upper hand, especially if you are in school where adults are always watching.
Make it clear that you are the bigger person by saying something like, “I’m not even going to respond to that.” Remember that no one deserves to be treated poorly.
Even if you refrain from retaliation, you should maturely confront situations that make you uncomfortable. , Express that you don’t like what has been said or done.
Speak in a firm and confident voice and then walk away.
Showing that you have confidence — even if you don't — will let others know that you do not tolerate inappropriate behavior.Practice responding to the bully.
Reach out to a trusted friend, a family member, a stuffed animal, or stand in front of the mirror.
Act out the situation as realistically as possible.
Practice saying short and neutral phrases that you feel comfortable using.
Phrases like, “Stop that,” “That’s not funny,” or “I've had it,” are effective. , Ignoring a mean joke or teasing can be a successful strategy, especially if the situation is not serious; however, don’t let being picked on become a pattern, as it can become quite harmful over time.
Pretend that you don’t hear the mean comments by keeping a straight face.
This may be challenging at first, so it can take some practice.
Bullies will often become bored when they can't get a reaction out of you.Look to a classmate or teacher and say something to show you are not paying attention to the bully.
Try saying, “Hey, great shirt,” or “How’s it going?” Appear distracted by your cell phone.
If you can, look at your phone and say, “Oh, I missed a call,” or “I didn’t see that before.” , Sometimes it may be hard to recognize bullying until it has progressed or escalated.
You may feel isolated, be afraid or anxious to go to school (you may start pretending to be sick so you don't have to go), feel helpless, have difficulty sleeping, notice a change in your eating patterns (eating more or less than normal), or your grades may go down.Familiarize yourself with the different types of bullying so you can address it as soon as possible.Physical bullying includes hitting, kicking, tripping, hair pulling pinching, pushing, stealing, or damaging your things.
This type of bullying uses physical force to cause damage.
Verbal bullying includes insults, name calling, teasing, intimidation, verbal abuse, or homophobic, racist, sexist, or ableist comments.
This may start off as "harmless" teasing or poking fun at first and escalate.
Social bullying or covert bullying is often difficult to spot.
You may not realize this is going on, as it can occur behind your back.
This includes spreading rumors, telling other people not to be friends with you, lying about you, damaging your reputation, playing mean jokes, mimicking, giving you the silent treatment, etc.
Cyber bullying can happen at any time and can be public or private.
It may be done directly to you or behind your back.
Cyber bullying uses technology — such as social media, texting, email, websites, etc. — to target the person.
It can include spreading rumors, impersonating you online, spreading mean or harmful videos or pictures, excluding you, sending abusive or hurtful messages, and intimidation. -
Step 3: Stand up for yourself.
-
Step 4: Ignore the teasing.
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Step 5: Recognize bullying.
Detailed Guide
Teasing may make you feel many uncomfortable emotions like anger or anxiety.
Try not to react from a place of fear or frustration.
Crying, fighting back, or insulting the other person is often the reaction that a bully wants from you.
Remove yourself from the situation if at all possible.
This will often de-escalate the situation immediately.
If you do become angry, take a deep breath and count to
10.
Try to relax your whole body as much as possible.
If you find that you must say something, use a short word that doesn’t escalate the situation.
Try saying, “Whatever,” and move on.
Refocus your attention on something positive.
If you are feeling upset, look for something or someone that makes you feel safe and happy.
As much as you might want fight back, it's important that you keep composure.
Starting a physical fight can get you in serious trouble.
Insulting a bully can often further provoke them and make the situation worse.
Don't stoop to their level.
Name-calling, harassing, picking on, or starting rumors about your bullies puts you in the same boat as them.
Acting more mature than them gives you the upper hand, especially if you are in school where adults are always watching.
Make it clear that you are the bigger person by saying something like, “I’m not even going to respond to that.” Remember that no one deserves to be treated poorly.
Even if you refrain from retaliation, you should maturely confront situations that make you uncomfortable. , Express that you don’t like what has been said or done.
Speak in a firm and confident voice and then walk away.
Showing that you have confidence — even if you don't — will let others know that you do not tolerate inappropriate behavior.Practice responding to the bully.
Reach out to a trusted friend, a family member, a stuffed animal, or stand in front of the mirror.
Act out the situation as realistically as possible.
Practice saying short and neutral phrases that you feel comfortable using.
Phrases like, “Stop that,” “That’s not funny,” or “I've had it,” are effective. , Ignoring a mean joke or teasing can be a successful strategy, especially if the situation is not serious; however, don’t let being picked on become a pattern, as it can become quite harmful over time.
Pretend that you don’t hear the mean comments by keeping a straight face.
This may be challenging at first, so it can take some practice.
Bullies will often become bored when they can't get a reaction out of you.Look to a classmate or teacher and say something to show you are not paying attention to the bully.
Try saying, “Hey, great shirt,” or “How’s it going?” Appear distracted by your cell phone.
If you can, look at your phone and say, “Oh, I missed a call,” or “I didn’t see that before.” , Sometimes it may be hard to recognize bullying until it has progressed or escalated.
You may feel isolated, be afraid or anxious to go to school (you may start pretending to be sick so you don't have to go), feel helpless, have difficulty sleeping, notice a change in your eating patterns (eating more or less than normal), or your grades may go down.Familiarize yourself with the different types of bullying so you can address it as soon as possible.Physical bullying includes hitting, kicking, tripping, hair pulling pinching, pushing, stealing, or damaging your things.
This type of bullying uses physical force to cause damage.
Verbal bullying includes insults, name calling, teasing, intimidation, verbal abuse, or homophobic, racist, sexist, or ableist comments.
This may start off as "harmless" teasing or poking fun at first and escalate.
Social bullying or covert bullying is often difficult to spot.
You may not realize this is going on, as it can occur behind your back.
This includes spreading rumors, telling other people not to be friends with you, lying about you, damaging your reputation, playing mean jokes, mimicking, giving you the silent treatment, etc.
Cyber bullying can happen at any time and can be public or private.
It may be done directly to you or behind your back.
Cyber bullying uses technology — such as social media, texting, email, websites, etc. — to target the person.
It can include spreading rumors, impersonating you online, spreading mean or harmful videos or pictures, excluding you, sending abusive or hurtful messages, and intimidation.
About the Author
Samuel Murphy
Enthusiastic about teaching DIY projects techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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