How to Deal with Condescending People
Keep calm.In communicating with a condescending person, try not to lose your temper, since this can make the situation worse., Be honest., Watch your tone of voice., Practice non-defensive communication.To deal with difficult people, you have to...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Keep calm.In communicating with a condescending person
Before replying to the person, pause for a moment and take a deep breath.
Tell yourself something like “I’m trying to point out a problem, but I’m going to stay calm and be civil.” -
Step 2: try not to lose your temper
If someone says something to you that is condescending, even in an offhand kind of way, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself.Let the person know that you feel talked down to, and that the condescension was uncalled for.
Being honest is crucial if you want to deal with the situation.
Otherwise, the person may not even realize that he or she is being condescending. , Condescension is often primarily about one’s tone of voice.In other words, it’s not always what a person says, but how it is said that matters.
Be careful not to reply to a condescending person with more condescension.
This means avoiding sarcasm, muttering things under your breath, raising your voice, etc. , Avoid saying things that are defensive, since that can validate the condescending person and ruin the chances of resolving the situation.
Luckily, you can usually turn defensive statements into more constructive ones.
For instance:
Suppose someone says something condescending to you, such as “Well, if I were you, I’d just settle on a career and move on with my life.” You might be tempted to respond with something like “You’re wrong! And stay out of my life.” Instead, try saying something more productive, like “I understand you see it that way.
Let me explain why it’s more complicated than that…” , Try to determine why it is that you find the remarks condescending, based on the kind of relationship you have.
With this knowledge, you will be able to communicate more effectively.
For instance, if you have a relationship where you feel like you owe a debt to the other person, the pressure of the debt may cause the feelings of condescension.
Settle the debt, or be open with the other person about how you feel. , If a friend or partner says belittling things to you, for instance, he or she might actually fear losing you.
The condescending comments would be meant to make you feel inferior and therefore dependent on that person.
If you recognize this kind of behavior, communicate calmly and openly communicate with your friend/partner about it. , If you can stand the condescending comments long enough to get away from that person, just grin and bear it and avoid that person in the future. , If someone’s condescending comments are causing serious damage to a relationship that you value, don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Marriage and family advisors, for instance, are trained in helping to mediate between people who are experiencing relationship problems. -
Step 3: since this can make the situation worse.
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Step 4: Be honest.
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Step 5: Watch your tone of voice.
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Step 6: Practice non-defensive communication.To deal with difficult people
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Step 7: you have to choose your words very carefully.
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Step 8: Determine what kind of relationship you have with the person.If you are dealing with a person who has a consistent habit of saying condescending things to you
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Step 9: stop and consider your relationship with that person in general.
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Step 10: Recognize emotional blackmail.Sometimes
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Step 11: people will use condescension to manipulate others into doing something for them.
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Step 12: Nod and smile
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Step 13: when all else fails.Sometimes
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Step 14: the quickest and easiest way to deal with a condescending person is just to move on.
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Step 15: Seek professional help
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Step 16: if necessary.
Detailed Guide
Before replying to the person, pause for a moment and take a deep breath.
Tell yourself something like “I’m trying to point out a problem, but I’m going to stay calm and be civil.”
If someone says something to you that is condescending, even in an offhand kind of way, don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself.Let the person know that you feel talked down to, and that the condescension was uncalled for.
Being honest is crucial if you want to deal with the situation.
Otherwise, the person may not even realize that he or she is being condescending. , Condescension is often primarily about one’s tone of voice.In other words, it’s not always what a person says, but how it is said that matters.
Be careful not to reply to a condescending person with more condescension.
This means avoiding sarcasm, muttering things under your breath, raising your voice, etc. , Avoid saying things that are defensive, since that can validate the condescending person and ruin the chances of resolving the situation.
Luckily, you can usually turn defensive statements into more constructive ones.
For instance:
Suppose someone says something condescending to you, such as “Well, if I were you, I’d just settle on a career and move on with my life.” You might be tempted to respond with something like “You’re wrong! And stay out of my life.” Instead, try saying something more productive, like “I understand you see it that way.
Let me explain why it’s more complicated than that…” , Try to determine why it is that you find the remarks condescending, based on the kind of relationship you have.
With this knowledge, you will be able to communicate more effectively.
For instance, if you have a relationship where you feel like you owe a debt to the other person, the pressure of the debt may cause the feelings of condescension.
Settle the debt, or be open with the other person about how you feel. , If a friend or partner says belittling things to you, for instance, he or she might actually fear losing you.
The condescending comments would be meant to make you feel inferior and therefore dependent on that person.
If you recognize this kind of behavior, communicate calmly and openly communicate with your friend/partner about it. , If you can stand the condescending comments long enough to get away from that person, just grin and bear it and avoid that person in the future. , If someone’s condescending comments are causing serious damage to a relationship that you value, don’t be afraid to ask for help.
Marriage and family advisors, for instance, are trained in helping to mediate between people who are experiencing relationship problems.
About the Author
Jerry Reynolds
Committed to making lifestyle accessible and understandable for everyone.
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