How to Deal With Drama Queens or Kings
Refuse to participate in the drama., Steer the conversation away from the drama., Put some distance between you and the dramatic person or people., Redirect the person's focus away from how he feels., Remember that you aren’t obligated to carry her...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Refuse to participate in the drama.
The dramatic person wants attention, and by participating in whatever crisis she's attempting to drag you into, you’re feeding that need.
If you resist this, and refuse to engage with her, you can short-circuit the whole situation and possibly diffuse the drama.If the dramatic person starts up, simply tell her outright that you won’t be putting up with it.
You can do so firmly without also being rude or harsh.
Say something like, “Listen, I know you’re upset, but I really can’t get involved.” Instead, give the person the attention and validation she is seeking only when she is engaging in more positive behavior (i.e. talking about positive topics, asking about others, etc.).
Do not provide any attention, reaction, validation, or interest in drama-related topics (i.e. complaining, gossip, negative self-talk, etc.). -
Step 2: Steer the conversation away from the drama.
If this is a classmate or a co-worker that you can’t get away from, the next best thing you can do is try to divert his attention.
If he is upset and being dramatic, try to shift his attention and energy to something else.
Suggest something else you can talk about or focus on.
You can try to turn the problem he is having back on him, rather than allowing him to blame you or put the burden on you.Even if the dramatic person is having a fit, you can still avoid engaging with him by simply changing the subject.
Say something like, “I’m sorry you’re upset.
Did you want to go get some lunch?” That way, you’ve acknowledged him, but not allowed the issue to go any further. , Physically remove yourself from the situation, if you can.
Leave, walk away, or go to another room.
If you can’t leave or walk away, put some emotional distance between you and the dramatic person instead.
Disconnect yourself from the problems she is causing, and focus on something else.
Excusing yourself politely is one way to leave her to her own issues.
Say something like, “I really wish I could help, but I have an appointment.” Or, you could be direct with her and say, “I wish I could help, but I need a little space right now.”, If the person is throwing a fit about something, get him to talk about the actual thing that’s upsetting him, rather than just about how it’s making him feel.
This will help him keep from spiraling into an emotional rampage.
Ask him to tell you exactly what happened, and focus on that.Use simple questions to keep him on track.
Ask something like, “What do you think you could do about this to make it better?” Redirecting his focus away from his emotions is a good way to keep from engaging with his dramatics.
Instead, you’re urging him to approach things from a more level-headed and less dramatic perspective. , You might feel the need to “fix” or help her, but it’s not your problem or responsibility.
These people thrive on attention and others feeling pity for them.
You won’t be able to change the person, so don’t make it your problem to do so.It’s important to remember to let these kinds of people figures themselves out on their own.
They will have to come to their own understanding of their problems and how to solve them, and you can’t be held responsible for the outcome. , Dealing with a dramatic person can be extremely exhausting, especially if you give him a lot of time, focus, and energy.
Even if the person is a friend, don’t be afraid to limit the time you’re willing to spend dealing with his problems.
Setting this kind of boundary is important for you and your own sanity, but also for the other person to become more self-reliant.If the dramatic person begins to have a meltdown or outburst, say something like, “I only have a few minutes, so try and tell me the facts.” This will hopefully redirect his emotion and also limit the amount of time you’ll be engaged with the issue. , Sometimes, the best way to handle a dramatic person is to tell her outright that you aren’t interested in dealing with drama.
It might seem harsh, but it’s a quick and painless way to get right to the point and avoid the issue altogether.You have to think of your own best interests, and dealing with dramatic people can be emotionally draining and stressful.
It’s not a bad thing to need to step away from a person who stresses you out, and it’s okay to tell her exactly why you’re walking away. , Some people who are chronically dramatic, even over the smallest things, may actually suffer from a personality or mood disorder.
This is usually a more extreme case, and is more likely when the severely dramatic behavior shows up in all aspects of his life.Some dramatic people may have personality disorders or mood disorders in which they tend to over exaggerate problems and are prone to attention-seeking behaviors.Even if the dramatic person you’re dealing with does suffer from a mental health problem, remember that it’s still not your job or responsibility to fix or cure him.
If the drama seems to be a real, critical problem, you might suggest that he seek therapy or counseling. , Some people who grow up to become drama queens and kings suffered from some kind of neglect as a child.
These people may have had parents who ignored them, or brushed off their problems.
In turn, they resorted to acting out or behaving dramatically just to get the attention they craved.There is even a link to other types of childhood trauma, including things like surviving a natural disaster or dealing with abuse.
These things could also ultimately lead to a young person or adult who seeks attention through acting out or behaving dramatically. , The primary goal of drama queens and kings is to get attention.
By blowing small problems out of proportion and over exaggerating their feelings and emotions, the person is hoping to pull other people in and receive attention, sympathy, or pity.
It’s your choice, in the end, if you choose to give in and give her attention, or to walk away and not let her affect you.You might even notice that these drama kings and queens don’t seem to care about your input, unless you’re validating them or encouraging their behavior.
Giving the person genuine advice, urging her to calm down, or insisting the problem isn’t that big might just result in her getting more upset. -
Step 3: Put some distance between you and the dramatic person or people.
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Step 4: Redirect the person's focus away from how he feels.
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Step 5: Remember that you aren’t obligated to carry her emotional burdens.
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Step 6: Limit your time with him.
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Step 7: Let her know you don’t want to be involved.
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Step 8: Understand that this person may have genuine mental health issues.
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Step 9: Remember that the drama might stem from childhood issues.
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Step 10: Keep in mind that the person likely just wants attention.
Detailed Guide
The dramatic person wants attention, and by participating in whatever crisis she's attempting to drag you into, you’re feeding that need.
If you resist this, and refuse to engage with her, you can short-circuit the whole situation and possibly diffuse the drama.If the dramatic person starts up, simply tell her outright that you won’t be putting up with it.
You can do so firmly without also being rude or harsh.
Say something like, “Listen, I know you’re upset, but I really can’t get involved.” Instead, give the person the attention and validation she is seeking only when she is engaging in more positive behavior (i.e. talking about positive topics, asking about others, etc.).
Do not provide any attention, reaction, validation, or interest in drama-related topics (i.e. complaining, gossip, negative self-talk, etc.).
If this is a classmate or a co-worker that you can’t get away from, the next best thing you can do is try to divert his attention.
If he is upset and being dramatic, try to shift his attention and energy to something else.
Suggest something else you can talk about or focus on.
You can try to turn the problem he is having back on him, rather than allowing him to blame you or put the burden on you.Even if the dramatic person is having a fit, you can still avoid engaging with him by simply changing the subject.
Say something like, “I’m sorry you’re upset.
Did you want to go get some lunch?” That way, you’ve acknowledged him, but not allowed the issue to go any further. , Physically remove yourself from the situation, if you can.
Leave, walk away, or go to another room.
If you can’t leave or walk away, put some emotional distance between you and the dramatic person instead.
Disconnect yourself from the problems she is causing, and focus on something else.
Excusing yourself politely is one way to leave her to her own issues.
Say something like, “I really wish I could help, but I have an appointment.” Or, you could be direct with her and say, “I wish I could help, but I need a little space right now.”, If the person is throwing a fit about something, get him to talk about the actual thing that’s upsetting him, rather than just about how it’s making him feel.
This will help him keep from spiraling into an emotional rampage.
Ask him to tell you exactly what happened, and focus on that.Use simple questions to keep him on track.
Ask something like, “What do you think you could do about this to make it better?” Redirecting his focus away from his emotions is a good way to keep from engaging with his dramatics.
Instead, you’re urging him to approach things from a more level-headed and less dramatic perspective. , You might feel the need to “fix” or help her, but it’s not your problem or responsibility.
These people thrive on attention and others feeling pity for them.
You won’t be able to change the person, so don’t make it your problem to do so.It’s important to remember to let these kinds of people figures themselves out on their own.
They will have to come to their own understanding of their problems and how to solve them, and you can’t be held responsible for the outcome. , Dealing with a dramatic person can be extremely exhausting, especially if you give him a lot of time, focus, and energy.
Even if the person is a friend, don’t be afraid to limit the time you’re willing to spend dealing with his problems.
Setting this kind of boundary is important for you and your own sanity, but also for the other person to become more self-reliant.If the dramatic person begins to have a meltdown or outburst, say something like, “I only have a few minutes, so try and tell me the facts.” This will hopefully redirect his emotion and also limit the amount of time you’ll be engaged with the issue. , Sometimes, the best way to handle a dramatic person is to tell her outright that you aren’t interested in dealing with drama.
It might seem harsh, but it’s a quick and painless way to get right to the point and avoid the issue altogether.You have to think of your own best interests, and dealing with dramatic people can be emotionally draining and stressful.
It’s not a bad thing to need to step away from a person who stresses you out, and it’s okay to tell her exactly why you’re walking away. , Some people who are chronically dramatic, even over the smallest things, may actually suffer from a personality or mood disorder.
This is usually a more extreme case, and is more likely when the severely dramatic behavior shows up in all aspects of his life.Some dramatic people may have personality disorders or mood disorders in which they tend to over exaggerate problems and are prone to attention-seeking behaviors.Even if the dramatic person you’re dealing with does suffer from a mental health problem, remember that it’s still not your job or responsibility to fix or cure him.
If the drama seems to be a real, critical problem, you might suggest that he seek therapy or counseling. , Some people who grow up to become drama queens and kings suffered from some kind of neglect as a child.
These people may have had parents who ignored them, or brushed off their problems.
In turn, they resorted to acting out or behaving dramatically just to get the attention they craved.There is even a link to other types of childhood trauma, including things like surviving a natural disaster or dealing with abuse.
These things could also ultimately lead to a young person or adult who seeks attention through acting out or behaving dramatically. , The primary goal of drama queens and kings is to get attention.
By blowing small problems out of proportion and over exaggerating their feelings and emotions, the person is hoping to pull other people in and receive attention, sympathy, or pity.
It’s your choice, in the end, if you choose to give in and give her attention, or to walk away and not let her affect you.You might even notice that these drama kings and queens don’t seem to care about your input, unless you’re validating them or encouraging their behavior.
Giving the person genuine advice, urging her to calm down, or insisting the problem isn’t that big might just result in her getting more upset.
About the Author
Donald Brooks
Donald Brooks has dedicated 23 years to mastering religion. As a content creator, Donald focuses on providing actionable tips and step-by-step guides.
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