How to Deal with Emotional Abuse
Be aware of the signs of emotional abuse., Know your rights., Realize that you cannot change your partner., Don’t retaliate., Recognize the long-term risks of an abusive relationship., Reach out for support.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Be aware of the signs of emotional abuse.
Emotional abuse functions to make you feel small and strip you of your independence and self-worth.
Your partner may make you feel isolated, use intimidation or controlling behavior.
While your partner may not use physical force, he or she may threaten violence.Your partner may limit your freedom (not allow you to spend time with some people or insist on knowing your whereabouts), reject you (pretend you don’t exist, blame you for things that are not your fault) or belittle you by calling you names, insulting your family or career.Emotionally abusive behavior patterns that are controlling can spill over into finances.
Emotional abuse can include a partner monitoring your finances, making you account for every penny, withholding money from you, or restricting your spending.Emotional abuse can also include monitoring your time, insisting on checking your phone and emails, and limiting your contact with family. -
Step 2: Know your rights.
You have the right to be treated with respect within an equal relationship with your partner.
You have the right to change your mind and/or end the relationship if it no longer serves you.
You have the right to have your own opinions, even if your partner disagrees.
You have the right to receive clear honest answers to important questions.
You have the right to say no to your partner if you do not wish to engage in sexual contact.These are your rights.
Don’t allow your partner to convince you otherwise. , Making your partner understand or realize that he or she is hurting you is not your responsibility.
Abusers do not change from receiving your compassion, they change by learning to act with compassion.You are not doing your partner any favors by staying in the relationship.
You may feel like you are “the only person who understands him” or feel like she’s “a really good person if you get to know her” but don’t minimize how much pain this person causes you.
It is not heroic to stay with a person that disrespects you. , Abusers are excellent manipulators, and may provoke you to the point of breaking, then blame you for everything.
Don’t retaliate on any digs, insults, or threats.
While it may be hard to hold back your own temper, remember that it’s a trap and you may be the one suffering the consequences.Never respond with physical force, even when provoked.
Try to control your impulses by walking away, taking deep breaths, or cutting the discussion off. , An abusive relationship can contribute to physical problems such as migraines, arthritis, and body pains, mental health problems such as depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and alcohol/drug use or abuse, and sexual health issues such as increased risk of sexually transmitted infections or unwanted pregnancies., Confide in friends and family and ask for their support.
Tell them what is happening, and that you would like help in leaving the situation.
It is likely that they will be willing to help in any way they can.
You can create a signal to alert them that you need help, such as a coded text.“I’m baking lasagna for dinner”could be a code for “I’m in trouble and I need your help.” Reach out to friends, family, neighbors, spiritual leaders, or anyone else who may be able to help you. -
Step 3: Realize that you cannot change your partner.
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Step 4: Don’t retaliate.
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Step 5: Recognize the long-term risks of an abusive relationship.
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Step 6: Reach out for support.
Detailed Guide
Emotional abuse functions to make you feel small and strip you of your independence and self-worth.
Your partner may make you feel isolated, use intimidation or controlling behavior.
While your partner may not use physical force, he or she may threaten violence.Your partner may limit your freedom (not allow you to spend time with some people or insist on knowing your whereabouts), reject you (pretend you don’t exist, blame you for things that are not your fault) or belittle you by calling you names, insulting your family or career.Emotionally abusive behavior patterns that are controlling can spill over into finances.
Emotional abuse can include a partner monitoring your finances, making you account for every penny, withholding money from you, or restricting your spending.Emotional abuse can also include monitoring your time, insisting on checking your phone and emails, and limiting your contact with family.
You have the right to be treated with respect within an equal relationship with your partner.
You have the right to change your mind and/or end the relationship if it no longer serves you.
You have the right to have your own opinions, even if your partner disagrees.
You have the right to receive clear honest answers to important questions.
You have the right to say no to your partner if you do not wish to engage in sexual contact.These are your rights.
Don’t allow your partner to convince you otherwise. , Making your partner understand or realize that he or she is hurting you is not your responsibility.
Abusers do not change from receiving your compassion, they change by learning to act with compassion.You are not doing your partner any favors by staying in the relationship.
You may feel like you are “the only person who understands him” or feel like she’s “a really good person if you get to know her” but don’t minimize how much pain this person causes you.
It is not heroic to stay with a person that disrespects you. , Abusers are excellent manipulators, and may provoke you to the point of breaking, then blame you for everything.
Don’t retaliate on any digs, insults, or threats.
While it may be hard to hold back your own temper, remember that it’s a trap and you may be the one suffering the consequences.Never respond with physical force, even when provoked.
Try to control your impulses by walking away, taking deep breaths, or cutting the discussion off. , An abusive relationship can contribute to physical problems such as migraines, arthritis, and body pains, mental health problems such as depression, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and alcohol/drug use or abuse, and sexual health issues such as increased risk of sexually transmitted infections or unwanted pregnancies., Confide in friends and family and ask for their support.
Tell them what is happening, and that you would like help in leaving the situation.
It is likely that they will be willing to help in any way they can.
You can create a signal to alert them that you need help, such as a coded text.“I’m baking lasagna for dinner”could be a code for “I’m in trouble and I need your help.” Reach out to friends, family, neighbors, spiritual leaders, or anyone else who may be able to help you.
About the Author
Hannah Johnson
Experienced content creator specializing in creative arts guides and tutorials.
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