How to Deal With Gossip
Alert your friends., Confront the source of the rumor directly., Keep a healthy self-image., Ignore it., Never let gossip affect your routine., Tell an authority figure., Stay away from people who gossip.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Alert your friends.
If you learn that someone's been spreading nasty rumors about you, your first action should be to consult with your close friends.
These should be people you know and trust.
Tell them the facts of the situation.
If the rumor's not true, they'll be sure to fight the spread of the rumor by shooting it down whenever they hear someone bring it up.
If the rumor is true, they can still help stop its spread by sticking up for you and chastising people that spread it.
Another great reason to turn to your friends is that they'll make you feel like you're not overwhelmed.
When it seems like everyone you know is talking about you behind your back, you can feel absolutely surrounded
- good friends will remind you that there are always people who love and respect you. -
Step 2: Confront the source of the rumor directly.
If you know for sure who's responsible for spreading a nasty rumor about you, don't take it lying down.
When you have a chance, walk right up to him or her and say that you don't appreciate the mean things s/he has said.
Stay calm when you do this
- you don't want to resort to the cruel words that this person has.
You also don't want to give bystanders the impression that the rumor's true if it's not
- if they don't know all the facts, they may assume an especially angry rebuttal means that the rumor's true.
Say something polite yet direct, like: "Hey.
I want you to know that I don't appreciate the things you've been saying about me.
Keep your thoughts to yourself, you jerk." Then, just walk away
- this person doesn't deserve your time.
Ignore any insults you hear as you're walking away.
Sometimes, the person who started the rumor didn't do it on purpose.
It may, for instance, be a friend who simply let a secret slip by accident.
In cases like this, it's OK to express your disappointment, but you should avoid acting in a way that seems vindictive or accusatory (as above.) , When you're worried about a piece of gossip changing the way others think about you, it's bad enough.
Don't let gossip change the way you think about yourself! The worst thing you can do is to allow a piece of gossip to become a self-fulfilling prophecy
- to let your anxiety change your attitude or actions.
Remember that just because someone's said something about you doesn't mean it's true.
If someone's nasty enough to spread gossip about you, they're definitely nasty enough to lie.
For instance, if you happen to overhear people talking about how you speak with a slight lisp, don't become silent and withdrawn to avoid having to hear the sound of your own voice.
Everyone has small quirks that make them unique
- the gossiper's "quirk" is that s/he is pathetically petty. , Gossip is oftentimes best dealt with by paying no attention to it at all.
Most people don't think very hard about gossip
- if they see you react in a way that seems agitated or ashamed, they might assume the rumor's true, even if it's not.
A good policy is to react to gossip as if it doesn't bother you.
When you hear that there's a rumor going around about you, simply blow it off with a comment like, "Heh.
You'd have to be pretty dumb to believe that." Don't dwell on it.
Other people will take their social cues from you.
If you act like the rumor isn't worth your time, there's a good chance they'll follow suit.
When you hear gossip about yourself, laugh it off. .
Act as if it's ridiculous! Share a chuckle about it! Turn the tables by making the person who started the rumor the butt of the joke
- how hilarious is it that they actually thought spreading a dumb rumor about you would work? , It's true
- if you know there's an awful rumor going around about you, it can be hard to show your face in social situations.
If someone told the whole football team that you have jock itch, for instance, you're probably not looking forward to the time in the locker room before practice.
It's really tough, but try your hardest not to shy away from the activities you would normally participate in.
Doing so will only make you feel more isolated.
Instead, show the world how little you care about the gossip by not altering the way you live in the slightest. , If nasty rumors and gossip are a frequent problem, or if someone's told a rumor that might get you in trouble for something you didn't do, talk to a teacher, counselor, or administrator.
These people can help you work through the problem
- they can give you advice on how to proceed, make you feel better, and even dole out discipline to people who've started the rumor.
Don't be afraid to contact an authority figure for guidance when dealing with especially nasty or persistent rumors.
These types of people exist to help you.
You should definitely talk to an authority figure if the gossip makes you feel like you may retaliate by doing something drastic, like starting a fight.
Many schools have zero-tolerance policies for aggressive behavior.
Don't get expelled over a stupid rumor (especially not if it's untrue.) Get in touch with an authority figure in your school right away. , The single best way to avoid having gossip told about you is to stay away from the kinds of people who tell mean gossip! As popular or cool as they may seem, these people are sad and desperate.
They can't have a good time without spreading hurtful rumors about someone else.
Don't bother with them.
Find friends who don't get enjoyment from hurting people.
Remember
- a friend who stabs you in the back by telling a nasty rumor isn't much of a friend at all. -
Step 3: Keep a healthy self-image.
-
Step 4: Ignore it.
-
Step 5: Never let gossip affect your routine.
-
Step 6: Tell an authority figure.
-
Step 7: Stay away from people who gossip.
Detailed Guide
If you learn that someone's been spreading nasty rumors about you, your first action should be to consult with your close friends.
These should be people you know and trust.
Tell them the facts of the situation.
If the rumor's not true, they'll be sure to fight the spread of the rumor by shooting it down whenever they hear someone bring it up.
If the rumor is true, they can still help stop its spread by sticking up for you and chastising people that spread it.
Another great reason to turn to your friends is that they'll make you feel like you're not overwhelmed.
When it seems like everyone you know is talking about you behind your back, you can feel absolutely surrounded
- good friends will remind you that there are always people who love and respect you.
If you know for sure who's responsible for spreading a nasty rumor about you, don't take it lying down.
When you have a chance, walk right up to him or her and say that you don't appreciate the mean things s/he has said.
Stay calm when you do this
- you don't want to resort to the cruel words that this person has.
You also don't want to give bystanders the impression that the rumor's true if it's not
- if they don't know all the facts, they may assume an especially angry rebuttal means that the rumor's true.
Say something polite yet direct, like: "Hey.
I want you to know that I don't appreciate the things you've been saying about me.
Keep your thoughts to yourself, you jerk." Then, just walk away
- this person doesn't deserve your time.
Ignore any insults you hear as you're walking away.
Sometimes, the person who started the rumor didn't do it on purpose.
It may, for instance, be a friend who simply let a secret slip by accident.
In cases like this, it's OK to express your disappointment, but you should avoid acting in a way that seems vindictive or accusatory (as above.) , When you're worried about a piece of gossip changing the way others think about you, it's bad enough.
Don't let gossip change the way you think about yourself! The worst thing you can do is to allow a piece of gossip to become a self-fulfilling prophecy
- to let your anxiety change your attitude or actions.
Remember that just because someone's said something about you doesn't mean it's true.
If someone's nasty enough to spread gossip about you, they're definitely nasty enough to lie.
For instance, if you happen to overhear people talking about how you speak with a slight lisp, don't become silent and withdrawn to avoid having to hear the sound of your own voice.
Everyone has small quirks that make them unique
- the gossiper's "quirk" is that s/he is pathetically petty. , Gossip is oftentimes best dealt with by paying no attention to it at all.
Most people don't think very hard about gossip
- if they see you react in a way that seems agitated or ashamed, they might assume the rumor's true, even if it's not.
A good policy is to react to gossip as if it doesn't bother you.
When you hear that there's a rumor going around about you, simply blow it off with a comment like, "Heh.
You'd have to be pretty dumb to believe that." Don't dwell on it.
Other people will take their social cues from you.
If you act like the rumor isn't worth your time, there's a good chance they'll follow suit.
When you hear gossip about yourself, laugh it off. .
Act as if it's ridiculous! Share a chuckle about it! Turn the tables by making the person who started the rumor the butt of the joke
- how hilarious is it that they actually thought spreading a dumb rumor about you would work? , It's true
- if you know there's an awful rumor going around about you, it can be hard to show your face in social situations.
If someone told the whole football team that you have jock itch, for instance, you're probably not looking forward to the time in the locker room before practice.
It's really tough, but try your hardest not to shy away from the activities you would normally participate in.
Doing so will only make you feel more isolated.
Instead, show the world how little you care about the gossip by not altering the way you live in the slightest. , If nasty rumors and gossip are a frequent problem, or if someone's told a rumor that might get you in trouble for something you didn't do, talk to a teacher, counselor, or administrator.
These people can help you work through the problem
- they can give you advice on how to proceed, make you feel better, and even dole out discipline to people who've started the rumor.
Don't be afraid to contact an authority figure for guidance when dealing with especially nasty or persistent rumors.
These types of people exist to help you.
You should definitely talk to an authority figure if the gossip makes you feel like you may retaliate by doing something drastic, like starting a fight.
Many schools have zero-tolerance policies for aggressive behavior.
Don't get expelled over a stupid rumor (especially not if it's untrue.) Get in touch with an authority figure in your school right away. , The single best way to avoid having gossip told about you is to stay away from the kinds of people who tell mean gossip! As popular or cool as they may seem, these people are sad and desperate.
They can't have a good time without spreading hurtful rumors about someone else.
Don't bother with them.
Find friends who don't get enjoyment from hurting people.
Remember
- a friend who stabs you in the back by telling a nasty rumor isn't much of a friend at all.
About the Author
James Armstrong
Specializes in breaking down complex cooking topics into simple steps.
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