How to Deal With People Who Grub Cigarettes
Tell them you are on the patch., Tell them you don't give out cigarettes because they kill people and it's bad enough you smoke, and you're seriously considering quitting., Be up front with them., This is down and dirty but if you know the person...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Tell them you are on the patch.
Obviously if you're smoking at the time this won't work.
Don't tell them you have quit, because if they do see you smoking they'll know you're lying.
But, every smoker knows that if you're in the process of quitting sometimes you might indulge the craving. -
Step 2: Tell them you don't give out cigarettes because they kill people and it's bad enough you smoke
Lie, if necessary. , Tell them they seem to always ask you for a butt, and ask them why that is.
Depending on their response, give them a rational argument on why smoking yours isn't the solution.
Example:
I don't have money for cigarettes right now.
Tell them that you don't have enough money to keep giving them your cigarettes.
If they offer to pay you for one cigarette, tell them to save the money until they can buy a pack.
If they say they only need one, tell them that they can quit if all they need is one cigarette. , Tell them that you know they have that condition from smoking and you don't feel right giving them cigarettes because of it. , Alternatively, tell them it's your last pack and it's got to last you until payday.
Seem really apologetic. , Tell them you smoke menthols if it isn't someone who knows your preference.
Many people won't smoke a menthol, but the desperate will, so be careful.
Always back up the menthol defense with another one if it doesn't work because if you don't smoke menthol and give them a cigarette they'll know you're lying.
You can get around this by actually smoking menthol cigarettes. , They may have stopped buying to try to quit smoking.
If that's the case and it becomes a problem you should remind them they bum smokes when they drink (meet out, etc.) and should pick up a pack on the way. , If they balk after a few times you can remind them you "know how it feels".
If they're fine with sharing, you can at least try to break even. , Smokers will tell you what they do, even strangers who are smokers.
Seriously, if you don't have a light you can pretty much go up to any smoker and ask for one and you'll get it. , Say you're running late and ask them to pick up a pack of cigarettes for you on the way.
Hopefully they will buy their own but if you're in doubt you should suggest it. ,, Make a joke to them that it should last them a while so you can get a break. , Take a pack of a brand that is particularly skinny or girlie. , Many smokers, even hardened chain smokers, feel these are far too strong.
However, they may be too strong for you as well at first.
They are also worse for your health, because without a filter, more smoke gets into your lungs.
One last benefit is even if people do still bum them off you, rolling tobacco and papers are amazingly cheap compared to regular cigarettes. , Most moochers will take the hint if they're called out a few times.
Try these as a greeting or when with these grubbing friends.
Make sure you let other victimized friends in on the plan to call them out so they can join in.
Try one of the following passive aggressive "hints": "I suppose you'd like to mooch a cigarette" "Certainly you aren't still out of cigarettes and about to ask me for one" "____ is coming! Hide your cigarettes!" "If I'm supplying the smokes, you're buying the beer." "You know, you passed about 10 stores today, so don't walk over here and mooch my last smoke". "You know, they sell these in stores.
You should consider investing in your own." "Hey, I'm almost out too, here's a few bucks, grab me a pack when you get yours."
If things still seem unbalanced, start keeping a tab
- once it reaches a pack take them out and make them buy you one.
If they refuse, refuse to give them any more cigarettes. -
Step 3: and you're seriously considering quitting.
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Step 4: Be up front with them.
-
Step 5: This is down and dirty but if you know the person has a smoking related health condition
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Step 6: use that as a defense.
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Step 7: Tell them you have only one cigarette left and you need it.
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Step 8: Try the menthol defense.
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Step 9: Consider if they are trying to quit.
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Step 10: Make a point to bum cigarettes off of them when they have them.
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Step 11: Ask your smoking buddies what they would do in your situation.
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Step 12: Call them before meeting them out.
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Step 13: Use the "I bummed this one" defense.
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Step 14: Give them a pack for their birthday or a gifting holiday.
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Step 15: Consider switching brands
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Step 16: even if just for going out with the person
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Step 17: especially if you're a girl and a guy is the culprit.
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Step 18: If you can
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Step 19: smoke a hand-rolled or other unfiltered cigarette.
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Step 20: Make a joke out of it.
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Step 21: Give the cigarette on the condition of getting one back later.
Detailed Guide
Obviously if you're smoking at the time this won't work.
Don't tell them you have quit, because if they do see you smoking they'll know you're lying.
But, every smoker knows that if you're in the process of quitting sometimes you might indulge the craving.
Lie, if necessary. , Tell them they seem to always ask you for a butt, and ask them why that is.
Depending on their response, give them a rational argument on why smoking yours isn't the solution.
Example:
I don't have money for cigarettes right now.
Tell them that you don't have enough money to keep giving them your cigarettes.
If they offer to pay you for one cigarette, tell them to save the money until they can buy a pack.
If they say they only need one, tell them that they can quit if all they need is one cigarette. , Tell them that you know they have that condition from smoking and you don't feel right giving them cigarettes because of it. , Alternatively, tell them it's your last pack and it's got to last you until payday.
Seem really apologetic. , Tell them you smoke menthols if it isn't someone who knows your preference.
Many people won't smoke a menthol, but the desperate will, so be careful.
Always back up the menthol defense with another one if it doesn't work because if you don't smoke menthol and give them a cigarette they'll know you're lying.
You can get around this by actually smoking menthol cigarettes. , They may have stopped buying to try to quit smoking.
If that's the case and it becomes a problem you should remind them they bum smokes when they drink (meet out, etc.) and should pick up a pack on the way. , If they balk after a few times you can remind them you "know how it feels".
If they're fine with sharing, you can at least try to break even. , Smokers will tell you what they do, even strangers who are smokers.
Seriously, if you don't have a light you can pretty much go up to any smoker and ask for one and you'll get it. , Say you're running late and ask them to pick up a pack of cigarettes for you on the way.
Hopefully they will buy their own but if you're in doubt you should suggest it. ,, Make a joke to them that it should last them a while so you can get a break. , Take a pack of a brand that is particularly skinny or girlie. , Many smokers, even hardened chain smokers, feel these are far too strong.
However, they may be too strong for you as well at first.
They are also worse for your health, because without a filter, more smoke gets into your lungs.
One last benefit is even if people do still bum them off you, rolling tobacco and papers are amazingly cheap compared to regular cigarettes. , Most moochers will take the hint if they're called out a few times.
Try these as a greeting or when with these grubbing friends.
Make sure you let other victimized friends in on the plan to call them out so they can join in.
Try one of the following passive aggressive "hints": "I suppose you'd like to mooch a cigarette" "Certainly you aren't still out of cigarettes and about to ask me for one" "____ is coming! Hide your cigarettes!" "If I'm supplying the smokes, you're buying the beer." "You know, you passed about 10 stores today, so don't walk over here and mooch my last smoke". "You know, they sell these in stores.
You should consider investing in your own." "Hey, I'm almost out too, here's a few bucks, grab me a pack when you get yours."
If things still seem unbalanced, start keeping a tab
- once it reaches a pack take them out and make them buy you one.
If they refuse, refuse to give them any more cigarettes.
About the Author
Gloria Martin
Enthusiastic about teaching practical skills techniques through clear, step-by-step guides.
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