How to Deal With People Who Have Anger Problems
Exercise self-control., Establish safety., Clarify triggers., Resolve the problem., Get help.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Exercise self-control.
Remaining calm is one of the first rules to follow when in an emergency situation.
If someone is extremely angry, you need to treat the situation as if it is an emergency.Being calm will help you make on-the-spot decisions.
This can be difficult, so remember to breathe.
Your body will be telling you it’s an emergency, but you need to tell yourself you are going to be okay.
The person is angry, so you need to show him the opposite emotion: calm.
If you match his anger with your anger, then negative emotions will escalate.
Don’t allow him to antagonize you into a negative reaction.
Take a step back to get some space.
Hold both hands up in a peaceful way in front of you to gesture that you do not want any trouble. -
Step 2: Establish safety.
Determine if the situation is safe.
There is no reason why you should put yourself in harm’s way.
Many lives have been changed forever due to mistakenly participating in volatile situations.
Self-preservation is a primal instinct.Pay attention to it.
At the first sign of a threat to your safety, leave the area as quickly as you can.
If you are forced to stay, or sense that you can handle the situation, you will need to shift into problem solving mode. , Clarify what situation has triggered the person's outburst.
Every situation is going to be different.
Anger runs on a spectrum, from irritation to rage.If you are more familiar with the angry person, then you may be more aware of what triggers this person’s outbursts.
Clarifying what the person is angry about will allow you to make the next decision on how to handle the situation.
Listen to what the person has to say and do not interrupt him.
Interrupting or talking over the person will only escalate the situation. , It is time to take action to resolve the problem.
You need to address four things: define what went wrong; generate alternatives for how it can be fixed; select an alternative; and implement your plan.This is the type of discussion that can take place immediately, or you can make plans to discuss it at a later time.
Be clear and tell the person that you are not going to fight with him.
Assure the person that whatever the problem is, it can be resolved.
You may need to suggest that the person take a break or a walk.
Or, you may want to do the same and come back later to discuss the problem.
Cooler heads prevail.
The goal is to create some distance from the negative emotions.
Apologize if and when appropriate.
You will need to use your judgement as to when to say this.
If you say it too soon, it may make the person angry. , Enlist the support of others.
If the situation escalates and you have tried unsuccessfully to calm the situation, then you will need to call for reinforcements.
It takes courage and strength to admit that help is needed, but it is necessary.
Call the police to restore order or report a crime if one has occurred.
It is their job to protect and serve.
You need to be willing to ask for their help.
Family members or friends may be able to help resolve the matter at hand.
If you are dealing with this type of behavior in your home, then contact a domestic violence hotline in your area for advice and assistance.If this situation occurs in the workplace, contact your Human Resource Representative to discuss your options. -
Step 3: Clarify triggers.
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Step 4: Resolve the problem.
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Step 5: Get help.
Detailed Guide
Remaining calm is one of the first rules to follow when in an emergency situation.
If someone is extremely angry, you need to treat the situation as if it is an emergency.Being calm will help you make on-the-spot decisions.
This can be difficult, so remember to breathe.
Your body will be telling you it’s an emergency, but you need to tell yourself you are going to be okay.
The person is angry, so you need to show him the opposite emotion: calm.
If you match his anger with your anger, then negative emotions will escalate.
Don’t allow him to antagonize you into a negative reaction.
Take a step back to get some space.
Hold both hands up in a peaceful way in front of you to gesture that you do not want any trouble.
Determine if the situation is safe.
There is no reason why you should put yourself in harm’s way.
Many lives have been changed forever due to mistakenly participating in volatile situations.
Self-preservation is a primal instinct.Pay attention to it.
At the first sign of a threat to your safety, leave the area as quickly as you can.
If you are forced to stay, or sense that you can handle the situation, you will need to shift into problem solving mode. , Clarify what situation has triggered the person's outburst.
Every situation is going to be different.
Anger runs on a spectrum, from irritation to rage.If you are more familiar with the angry person, then you may be more aware of what triggers this person’s outbursts.
Clarifying what the person is angry about will allow you to make the next decision on how to handle the situation.
Listen to what the person has to say and do not interrupt him.
Interrupting or talking over the person will only escalate the situation. , It is time to take action to resolve the problem.
You need to address four things: define what went wrong; generate alternatives for how it can be fixed; select an alternative; and implement your plan.This is the type of discussion that can take place immediately, or you can make plans to discuss it at a later time.
Be clear and tell the person that you are not going to fight with him.
Assure the person that whatever the problem is, it can be resolved.
You may need to suggest that the person take a break or a walk.
Or, you may want to do the same and come back later to discuss the problem.
Cooler heads prevail.
The goal is to create some distance from the negative emotions.
Apologize if and when appropriate.
You will need to use your judgement as to when to say this.
If you say it too soon, it may make the person angry. , Enlist the support of others.
If the situation escalates and you have tried unsuccessfully to calm the situation, then you will need to call for reinforcements.
It takes courage and strength to admit that help is needed, but it is necessary.
Call the police to restore order or report a crime if one has occurred.
It is their job to protect and serve.
You need to be willing to ask for their help.
Family members or friends may be able to help resolve the matter at hand.
If you are dealing with this type of behavior in your home, then contact a domestic violence hotline in your area for advice and assistance.If this situation occurs in the workplace, contact your Human Resource Representative to discuss your options.
About the Author
Debra Morris
A seasoned expert in education and learning, Debra Morris combines 4 years of experience with a passion for teaching. Debra's guides are known for their clarity and practical value.
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