How to Deal With Racism
Know that you are not over-reacting., Walk away., Make it about the words or behavior., Be direct with your peers., Deal with a racist comment or behavior in a group setting., Practice different approaches to racist behavior or comments., Learn how...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Know that you are not over-reacting.
Like harassment, brief and often unintentional acts of racial discrimination (known as "microaggressions") might seem like no big deal to other people, but if it bothers you, it has to stop.Studies show that people of color experience racial microaggressions every day, but perpetrators almost always deny that they've done anything wrong or that their actions were racially-motivated.This can leave people of color feeling like they're imagining things, or worried that if they say something that their experiences will be invalidated by denial. -
Step 2: Walk away.
If you experience a microaggression or a more blatant form of racial hostility, put your own needs first; you can choose to walk away.
You are not under any obligation to engage with a person like that.
It is never your job as a victim of racism to "fix" the perpetrator.
Engaging in conversations about racism are exhausting, emotionally upsetting, and just plain hard work, and you can just walk away.
But, if you want to engage with the person who is at fault, you can choose to do that, too., Instead of accusing a person of being racist, which risks raising defensiveness, point out exactly why the behavior or words are problematic.For example, instead of saying, "You are offensive," say, "That phrase is pretty offensive to Native Americans." By using "that phrase" instead of "you," you take the focus off of the perpetrator and on the words themselves. , You are never obligated to accept or deal with racism just to avoid causing friction among your peers.
Racism is always wrong and you have every right to say something about it.
If someone is behaving in a way that seems racist to you, point out why it is a problem.
You can choose your approach; recognize that people tend to become defensive when they are called out, so the more tact you use, the more likely they are to be receptive to your comments. , When someone in a group does or says something offensive, your approach to dealing with it might be more or less effective depending on several factors.
Decide what your goals are when you call out racist behavior in a group: do you want to let everyone present know you won't listen to that kind of thing, or do you want to preserve a relationship with someone who may have done something inadvertently offensive? Calling out racist behavior in front of other people, rather than addressing it in private, lets the whole group know you won't stand for behavior like that directed at you.
But it also tends to put people on the defensive when they are called out in front of their friends.
If you feel the behavior was unintentional and you are concerned about preserving the feelings of the perpetrator or maintaining a relationship with that person, you can let it slide temporarily, and later ask if you can talk to them about it in private.
There are a lot of drawbacks to waiting to talk about it; one might be that the person will forget what they said or the context, and another is that it sends a message to the group that you are not going to challenge behavior like that. , There are many ways to respond if something is offensive, and you have to choose what is true to your personality and the relationship you have with the perpetrator.
One approach is to say, "You know, it hurts me when people say or do that, because…" Making it about how you feel can help people be less defensive than if you make it directly about what they do,but it also takes some of the responsibility off of their shoulders, which may not be a good tactic in the long run.
Another, more direct approach is to say, "You should not say or do that.
It is offensive to people of a certain race because…" This approach lets people know that their behavior is hurtful and that they should stop. , If your teacher or boss is treating you differently because of your race, or making comments that are disparaging or embarrassing, it can be hard to know how to react since they are in a position of power over you and can affect your grades or income.
If you think the racism is unintentional or the result of carelessness and if you otherwise have a good working relationship with this person, consider talking to the teacher or boss.
It's possible that this person is unaware that their behavior is offensive.
For example, a teacher who calls on you in class to give the "black point of view" may not realize that doing so is offensive, since black people are not monolithic.
If you do talk to your teacher or boss, be sure to approach them when they are not busy and ask to speak in private.
Let them know about your concerns in clear, direct, and unemotional terms: "Sometimes I feel that you unintentionally single me out because of my race.
I was hoping we could talk about that so that it doesn't happen again."If you feel that the racism is intentional, malicious, or if you think that discussing it directly with your teacher or boss will result in negative consequences for you or impair your working relationship, you need to talk to the next level of authority.
At school, this could be your school counselor or your principal.
At work, this could be your human resources office or your boss's manager.
First, be sure you have documented each instance of racism or microaggression.Schedule a private meeting in which you lay out what has happened (including frequency and direct quotes or descriptions of actions from each instance if possible) and why this is unacceptable. , If you are experiencing racism at work or in a place of public accommodation, you may have legal rights.
Many state and federal laws protect against racial discrimination, most notably the Civil Rights Act of
1964.You should contact a lawyer specializing in civil rights or workplace rights if you are experiencing racism that is depriving you of housing, work, safety, or other freedoms.
Most states have strict timetables for reporting incidents of discrimination, so be sure to get in touch with a lawyer right away.If you need to file a lawsuit and cannot afford an attorney, there are many organizations that fight for human rights that might be able to help you.
In the United States, consider contacting the Southern Poverty Law Center or the Anti-Defamation League. , Racist people are fueled by bigotry and prejudice and are unlikely to change even if you confront them.
Racist actions, however, are often mistakes or the result of growing up in a culture where racism is the norm.
If someone is a racist, confronting them or trying to spend a lot of time educating them about racism and why it bothers you might be a wasted effort.
Often they will just claim you are "playing the race card" if you are offended by something they say or do.
Very rarely will a real racist person listen to you or change their behavior because it bothers you.
In some cases, it could be dangerous to your personal safety to try to confront them.
However, if someone is generally a good person but sometimes makes racist comments or assumptions, you might be able to influence them to stop by teaching them why it is offensive.
These people are often completely unaware of the real effects of racism in the world.
It is your decision whether to spend your time trying to deal with racist people, racist behavior, or racist policies.
It is not your job to educate people just because you happen to be a minority., Enduring racism is taxing and can be emotionally traumatizing.
Be sure to surround yourself with a support system of trusted individuals and take time for yourself to build your emotional and psychological strength.
Stress from coping with racism can affect every area of your life, including your mental wellbeing,performance in school, and even risk factors for major diseases.Join student associations for students of color, political organizations, or other affinity groups to meet and network with other people experiencing similar things.
Talk to your family members about stressful events and how to cope.Studies show that having people with whom you can discuss shared negative experiences is an important factor in coping with related stress. -
Step 3: Make it about the words or behavior.
-
Step 4: Be direct with your peers.
-
Step 5: Deal with a racist comment or behavior in a group setting.
-
Step 6: Practice different approaches to racist behavior or comments.
-
Step 7: Learn how to deal with racism from a superior.
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Step 8: Know your rights.
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Step 9: Try to differentiate between racist actions and racist people.
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Step 10: Take care of yourself.
Detailed Guide
Like harassment, brief and often unintentional acts of racial discrimination (known as "microaggressions") might seem like no big deal to other people, but if it bothers you, it has to stop.Studies show that people of color experience racial microaggressions every day, but perpetrators almost always deny that they've done anything wrong or that their actions were racially-motivated.This can leave people of color feeling like they're imagining things, or worried that if they say something that their experiences will be invalidated by denial.
If you experience a microaggression or a more blatant form of racial hostility, put your own needs first; you can choose to walk away.
You are not under any obligation to engage with a person like that.
It is never your job as a victim of racism to "fix" the perpetrator.
Engaging in conversations about racism are exhausting, emotionally upsetting, and just plain hard work, and you can just walk away.
But, if you want to engage with the person who is at fault, you can choose to do that, too., Instead of accusing a person of being racist, which risks raising defensiveness, point out exactly why the behavior or words are problematic.For example, instead of saying, "You are offensive," say, "That phrase is pretty offensive to Native Americans." By using "that phrase" instead of "you," you take the focus off of the perpetrator and on the words themselves. , You are never obligated to accept or deal with racism just to avoid causing friction among your peers.
Racism is always wrong and you have every right to say something about it.
If someone is behaving in a way that seems racist to you, point out why it is a problem.
You can choose your approach; recognize that people tend to become defensive when they are called out, so the more tact you use, the more likely they are to be receptive to your comments. , When someone in a group does or says something offensive, your approach to dealing with it might be more or less effective depending on several factors.
Decide what your goals are when you call out racist behavior in a group: do you want to let everyone present know you won't listen to that kind of thing, or do you want to preserve a relationship with someone who may have done something inadvertently offensive? Calling out racist behavior in front of other people, rather than addressing it in private, lets the whole group know you won't stand for behavior like that directed at you.
But it also tends to put people on the defensive when they are called out in front of their friends.
If you feel the behavior was unintentional and you are concerned about preserving the feelings of the perpetrator or maintaining a relationship with that person, you can let it slide temporarily, and later ask if you can talk to them about it in private.
There are a lot of drawbacks to waiting to talk about it; one might be that the person will forget what they said or the context, and another is that it sends a message to the group that you are not going to challenge behavior like that. , There are many ways to respond if something is offensive, and you have to choose what is true to your personality and the relationship you have with the perpetrator.
One approach is to say, "You know, it hurts me when people say or do that, because…" Making it about how you feel can help people be less defensive than if you make it directly about what they do,but it also takes some of the responsibility off of their shoulders, which may not be a good tactic in the long run.
Another, more direct approach is to say, "You should not say or do that.
It is offensive to people of a certain race because…" This approach lets people know that their behavior is hurtful and that they should stop. , If your teacher or boss is treating you differently because of your race, or making comments that are disparaging or embarrassing, it can be hard to know how to react since they are in a position of power over you and can affect your grades or income.
If you think the racism is unintentional or the result of carelessness and if you otherwise have a good working relationship with this person, consider talking to the teacher or boss.
It's possible that this person is unaware that their behavior is offensive.
For example, a teacher who calls on you in class to give the "black point of view" may not realize that doing so is offensive, since black people are not monolithic.
If you do talk to your teacher or boss, be sure to approach them when they are not busy and ask to speak in private.
Let them know about your concerns in clear, direct, and unemotional terms: "Sometimes I feel that you unintentionally single me out because of my race.
I was hoping we could talk about that so that it doesn't happen again."If you feel that the racism is intentional, malicious, or if you think that discussing it directly with your teacher or boss will result in negative consequences for you or impair your working relationship, you need to talk to the next level of authority.
At school, this could be your school counselor or your principal.
At work, this could be your human resources office or your boss's manager.
First, be sure you have documented each instance of racism or microaggression.Schedule a private meeting in which you lay out what has happened (including frequency and direct quotes or descriptions of actions from each instance if possible) and why this is unacceptable. , If you are experiencing racism at work or in a place of public accommodation, you may have legal rights.
Many state and federal laws protect against racial discrimination, most notably the Civil Rights Act of
1964.You should contact a lawyer specializing in civil rights or workplace rights if you are experiencing racism that is depriving you of housing, work, safety, or other freedoms.
Most states have strict timetables for reporting incidents of discrimination, so be sure to get in touch with a lawyer right away.If you need to file a lawsuit and cannot afford an attorney, there are many organizations that fight for human rights that might be able to help you.
In the United States, consider contacting the Southern Poverty Law Center or the Anti-Defamation League. , Racist people are fueled by bigotry and prejudice and are unlikely to change even if you confront them.
Racist actions, however, are often mistakes or the result of growing up in a culture where racism is the norm.
If someone is a racist, confronting them or trying to spend a lot of time educating them about racism and why it bothers you might be a wasted effort.
Often they will just claim you are "playing the race card" if you are offended by something they say or do.
Very rarely will a real racist person listen to you or change their behavior because it bothers you.
In some cases, it could be dangerous to your personal safety to try to confront them.
However, if someone is generally a good person but sometimes makes racist comments or assumptions, you might be able to influence them to stop by teaching them why it is offensive.
These people are often completely unaware of the real effects of racism in the world.
It is your decision whether to spend your time trying to deal with racist people, racist behavior, or racist policies.
It is not your job to educate people just because you happen to be a minority., Enduring racism is taxing and can be emotionally traumatizing.
Be sure to surround yourself with a support system of trusted individuals and take time for yourself to build your emotional and psychological strength.
Stress from coping with racism can affect every area of your life, including your mental wellbeing,performance in school, and even risk factors for major diseases.Join student associations for students of color, political organizations, or other affinity groups to meet and network with other people experiencing similar things.
Talk to your family members about stressful events and how to cope.Studies show that having people with whom you can discuss shared negative experiences is an important factor in coping with related stress.
About the Author
Judith Anderson
A passionate writer with expertise in hobbies topics. Loves sharing practical knowledge.
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