How to Feel and Act Like a Queen
Be polite., Write the book on etiquette., Constantly look out for others., Be of good character., Be diplomatic., Take the boring bits, too., Speak properly., Be confident., Believe you are destined for great things., Don't be afraid to make bold...
Step-by-Step Guide
-
Step 1: Be polite.
Hello manners.
The Queen of England (and she's a pretty good example to follow) has had good manners since she came out of the womb.
She always says, "Please," "Thank you," and never takes the last French fry, even when she's in a room full of her underlings (which is every room).
She's nice to everyone, even when she doesn't feel like it
-- though she'd never admit she doesn't feel like it.
A queen would never bark at people, ordering them around.
She's nice, friendly, and always lets someone speak, waiting her turn to respond.
She spends a surprisingly amount of time listening, considering how important she is! She's even polite over the phone! And if she texted, she'd be polite then, too. -
Step 2: Write the book on etiquette.
Not literally (though you could).
That just means know all there is to know when it comes to this queenly topic.
Even when people aren't in the room, a queen has fantastic etiquette.
She knows how to eat soup, which fork to use for what, and how to act in any situation.
You know why she knows all this? Because she's scoured LifeGuide Hub's etiquette section.
If you're thinking it's simple, there's movie etiquette, sushi etiquette, and even elevator etiquette, just to name three...Start reading up now! , You may think a queen's day is full of mani/pedis and sitting with her legs crossed at the ankles, but it's quite the opposite.
She's at the beck and call of her people and is always finding opportunities to help out.
She might volunteer at homeless or animal shelters, help out at fundraisers, organize people to action
-- anything to stay involved in her community.
Since she knows she has power, she likes to use it for good! So in your life, how can you use your royalty to assist others? Can you help them finish projects? Volunteer at your local hospital or nursing home? Go door-knocking for a cause you believe in? The majority of your day actually shouldn't focus on you
-- it should focus on your loyal subjects! , A queen embodies truth, justice, mercy, empathy, and fairness all in one.
She is virtuous and strong and sticks to what she knows is right.
She is not petty,selfish or manipulative.
So keep your promises.
Be honest.
Don't waste people's time.
And definitely don't be arrogant! Arrogance is a sign of insecurity.
Those that are bullies, that are full of themselves, that think they're better than everyone else are just trying to make that voice in their heads shut up
-- the one that's telling them they're worthless.
So realize that even though you're a queen, everyone has value.
Everyone knows something you don't.
So act with integrity
-- fairly, justly, honestly, and gently. , The Queen is always faced with decisions to make, and important ones at that.
She hears out everyone's side of the story and then puts her two cents (pence?) in.
She tries to accommodate everyone, but often knows she cannot.
Whatever the situation, she handles it with tact and sensitivity.
She's very diplomatic.
When you're presented with a situation, think before you speak.
Weigh the facts, and comment as tactfully as you can.
Let's say a friend of yours is going on a rant about how terrible gay people are.
Instead of saying, "Woah, man, you're totally out of line.
What the hell are you going on about, you lunatic?" she might say, "While I and the majority of people capable of open-minded thought disagree with you, you're entitled to your own opinion." She stands her ground and doesn't suffer fools, but she does so delicately. , Sometimes the Queen wakes up in the morning and thinks, "Maybe today I'll take a bubble bath, have a spot of tea, and go to brunch with someone I actually like." And then she consults her agenda for the day and realizes she has meeting after meeting after meeting with virtual stranger after virtual stranger after virtual stranger and, better yet, she has to smile the whole time.
This is part of the job description.
So go into your "Regaldom" knowing it's not all glitz and glamour.
And do so with pride and a head held high! Complaining is not really in the queen's vocabulary.
She has so many things to do on any given day, she just accepts it with grace.
It's all worth it when she gets to spend a night getting dolled up to go to the opera with Michelle Obama.
For free, of course. , Work on expanding your vocabulary and speak clearly.
Say each word fully ("speaking" instead of "speakin'"
for example) and stay away from most slang and all swear words.
Use words like "shall," "might," and "may." It's definitely "May I," not "Can I," in any question.
She might split the occasional infinitive, but that's as close to the line as she gets. , You're a queen, for Pete's sake! Why wouldn't you be confident?! You're wonderful and everyone loves you.
You're gorgeous, smart, and have great character.
So hold that head of yours high.
You got the right stuff.
If confidence is hard to muster, start by just thinking positively.
The more positive you are about the world, the easier it is to be positive about yourself.
It won't come overnight, but a positive outlook can spin the world in your favor before you even realize it. , Because you are.
Most people are, if they'd just realize and accept it.
When you commit to this belief, it will radiate outward.
Your actions will be affected, how people see you will be affected, and how you see yourself will be affected.
If you believe you're capable of greatness, you'll aim for it.
If you don't, you won't.
Simple as that.
It's easy to strive for 110%.
When we reach for the stars, there's a lot of room to fall.
But if you don't strive for the best, you don't truly know what you're capable of what you could've had.
And a queen deserves the best, doesn't she? , You're entitled to the things you want, right? Well, within reason.
People can always say no, so why not ask?! Ask your boss for that raise.
Tell your friend to cut the crap or you're done.
Demand Thanksgiving be partly vegetarian this year.
If you're diplomatic and fair and full of character (and you are, right?), your demands won't be that out of line.
This is not an excuse to be selfish.
Again, your bold demands should be well thought out and fair.
Demanding your roommate give you her iPod is not a well thought out, fair demand.
Asking her to do the dishes that have been sitting there for a week is. , A queen is firm in her beliefs and opinions.
She knows what she wants and the way she wants her world and the people around her to be.
Since she's so confident, she sticks to her guns.
She doesn't dilly-dally because she knows what's best! And those bold demands of yours? Those need to be unwavering too.
So when you ask for that raise, look your boss in the eye when you say it and don't back down when they say no.
You can lose the battle without losing your stance.
And when you don't get what you want, don't gripe! There's always tomorrow. , Being a queen is not the same as being a diva.
A diva is the type of woman who demands someone in front of her spraying perfume and someone behind her laying down rose petals.A queen, on the other hand, knows that she isn't really that different than those around her.
They're people, too! And how does she do this? Because a queen has been a queen all her life.
It's all she knows, so it's not that big of a deal.
She sits in the back of the room, minding her own business, not needing the spotlight because she knows she's the queen.
It's not a big deal.
She doesn't need a life-size cut-out of herself in her dressing room.
She doesn't need people bowing at her feet, filling every toilet bowl she uses with flowers.
She just wants to be treated with respect.
That's all. , And a queen is not afraid to fail! That's an Oprah quote,by the way, and if there's close to a queen in America, it's Oprah.
Well, maybe Michelle Obama, but they're probably friends.
Either way, she's right.
When you fail, you're only perfecting your strategy.
So, yes, queens fail.
They just know how to get better after it! The more you fail, the more things you've done.
The more things you've done, the better you are at everything you do.
And the more you fail, the more you'll know what not to do.
So get to failing! You're just perfecting your queenliness. , A queen, though rarely ecstatic (and rarely angry), is usually content and happy.
She doesn't like to be negative or whiny.
She's a queen
-- what does she have to be negative about?! Life is awesome, so show it on your face! What's more, everyone's happy to see you, so be happy to see them! Learning how to smile with your eyes is key
-- people can see right past a fake smile, but smiling with your eyes makes you look genuine.
That is, if you need to fake it.
We all need to fake it once in a while. , Practice proper posture and cross your legs at the ankles.
Move gently, thoughtfully, and with dignity.
Part of acting like a queen means you are elegant, and part of elegance is gracefulness and posture.
How else will people be convinced? A good way to start working on being graceful is getting into yoga or taking a dance class.
Being familiar with your body is thing one when it comes to moving like a queen.
And, as always, keep your chin up and your shoulders back.
It's your palace, after all. , Think Charlize Theron in Snow White and the Huntsman.
Think Helen Mirren in The Queen.
Heck, think Maleficent.
They all have that regal, poised, elegant walk that only queens have.
It's dignified, classy, and sophisticated.
Mirror it! You own the room.
You own every room.
Remember that.
When you walk into one, it's like being home.
Regardless of what or where the room is or who is in it, you own it.
Why wouldn't you be comfortable? , This is partly up to you.
The Queen of Jordan obviously dresses differently than the Queen of England.
There is no handbook they all have to read, no dresser that nixes certain ideas of theirs, no specific line called "Queen Wear." But if you want to get more specific: think class.
Feminine, modest, timeless wear.
That means pearls, knee-length dresses, and a slight heel.
Though there's always a time and a place for pjs.
If people look at you funny, it just means you're doing it right.
Wearing elbow-length gloves to the bar? Awesome.
Pillbox hat to work? Sure, why not? A silk sash? Well, that might be taking it a bit far, but whatever trips your trigger. , Let's just get this straight right now: don't carry a backpack.
Don't carry a hobo bag, a messenger bag, a drawstring bag, or a tote.
And god forbid you carry a duffel bag.
Just don't do it.
Stick to a clutch, an envelope purse, or a shoulder bag.
Maybe a carpet bag if it's modest.
And inside? Some glass, a bit of money, a compact and a few other small, necessary items.If you're curious, the Queen of England carries a Lauren handbag.While it doesn't have to be Lauren, that's a good prototype to follow. , Obviously you're showering and using deodorant, right? Well, do a little more maintenance.
Exfoliate.
Put lotion on your elbows.
If you're anywhere near grad school, think about night creams.
Push back your cuticles.
Deep-condition your hair.
You don't have to do it every day, but do make it part of your weekly regimen.
And while you're at it, get a signature scent.
A queen's always smelling good.
Use it all the time and eventually you'll smell like it when you're stuck in some third world manure plant making business deals with the agricultural head honchos of the area.
Or, you know, when you go camping and you accidentally forgot the bottle. , A queen should take care of herself, sure, but she should also have others taking care of her once in a while! So go get your nails done, your hair done, and your make-up done.
Get the whole shebang.
Take a day at the spa.
Get a mineral wrap.
Do something where they put cucumbers on your eyes.
In other words: go relax.
While queens don't have to do this part, it's a lot easier to feel like a queen when you have someone rubbing cream between your toes.
And when you feel like a queen, it's a lot easier to act like one! Just remember to say thank you! -
Step 3: Constantly look out for others.
-
Step 4: Be of good character.
-
Step 5: Be diplomatic.
-
Step 6: Take the boring bits
-
Step 7: Speak properly.
-
Step 8: Be confident.
-
Step 9: Believe you are destined for great things.
-
Step 10: Don't be afraid to make bold demands.
-
Step 11: Be unwavering in your choices.
-
Step 12: Think modestly.
-
Step 13: Think of failure as a stepping stone to greatness.
-
Step 14: Practice your smile.
-
Step 15: Be graceful.
-
Step 16: Get down the walk.
-
Step 17: Assemble a regal wardrobe.
-
Step 18: Get the purse right.
-
Step 19: Go the extra hygienic mile.
-
Step 20: Primp.
Detailed Guide
Hello manners.
The Queen of England (and she's a pretty good example to follow) has had good manners since she came out of the womb.
She always says, "Please," "Thank you," and never takes the last French fry, even when she's in a room full of her underlings (which is every room).
She's nice to everyone, even when she doesn't feel like it
-- though she'd never admit she doesn't feel like it.
A queen would never bark at people, ordering them around.
She's nice, friendly, and always lets someone speak, waiting her turn to respond.
She spends a surprisingly amount of time listening, considering how important she is! She's even polite over the phone! And if she texted, she'd be polite then, too.
Not literally (though you could).
That just means know all there is to know when it comes to this queenly topic.
Even when people aren't in the room, a queen has fantastic etiquette.
She knows how to eat soup, which fork to use for what, and how to act in any situation.
You know why she knows all this? Because she's scoured LifeGuide Hub's etiquette section.
If you're thinking it's simple, there's movie etiquette, sushi etiquette, and even elevator etiquette, just to name three...Start reading up now! , You may think a queen's day is full of mani/pedis and sitting with her legs crossed at the ankles, but it's quite the opposite.
She's at the beck and call of her people and is always finding opportunities to help out.
She might volunteer at homeless or animal shelters, help out at fundraisers, organize people to action
-- anything to stay involved in her community.
Since she knows she has power, she likes to use it for good! So in your life, how can you use your royalty to assist others? Can you help them finish projects? Volunteer at your local hospital or nursing home? Go door-knocking for a cause you believe in? The majority of your day actually shouldn't focus on you
-- it should focus on your loyal subjects! , A queen embodies truth, justice, mercy, empathy, and fairness all in one.
She is virtuous and strong and sticks to what she knows is right.
She is not petty,selfish or manipulative.
So keep your promises.
Be honest.
Don't waste people's time.
And definitely don't be arrogant! Arrogance is a sign of insecurity.
Those that are bullies, that are full of themselves, that think they're better than everyone else are just trying to make that voice in their heads shut up
-- the one that's telling them they're worthless.
So realize that even though you're a queen, everyone has value.
Everyone knows something you don't.
So act with integrity
-- fairly, justly, honestly, and gently. , The Queen is always faced with decisions to make, and important ones at that.
She hears out everyone's side of the story and then puts her two cents (pence?) in.
She tries to accommodate everyone, but often knows she cannot.
Whatever the situation, she handles it with tact and sensitivity.
She's very diplomatic.
When you're presented with a situation, think before you speak.
Weigh the facts, and comment as tactfully as you can.
Let's say a friend of yours is going on a rant about how terrible gay people are.
Instead of saying, "Woah, man, you're totally out of line.
What the hell are you going on about, you lunatic?" she might say, "While I and the majority of people capable of open-minded thought disagree with you, you're entitled to your own opinion." She stands her ground and doesn't suffer fools, but she does so delicately. , Sometimes the Queen wakes up in the morning and thinks, "Maybe today I'll take a bubble bath, have a spot of tea, and go to brunch with someone I actually like." And then she consults her agenda for the day and realizes she has meeting after meeting after meeting with virtual stranger after virtual stranger after virtual stranger and, better yet, she has to smile the whole time.
This is part of the job description.
So go into your "Regaldom" knowing it's not all glitz and glamour.
And do so with pride and a head held high! Complaining is not really in the queen's vocabulary.
She has so many things to do on any given day, she just accepts it with grace.
It's all worth it when she gets to spend a night getting dolled up to go to the opera with Michelle Obama.
For free, of course. , Work on expanding your vocabulary and speak clearly.
Say each word fully ("speaking" instead of "speakin'"
for example) and stay away from most slang and all swear words.
Use words like "shall," "might," and "may." It's definitely "May I," not "Can I," in any question.
She might split the occasional infinitive, but that's as close to the line as she gets. , You're a queen, for Pete's sake! Why wouldn't you be confident?! You're wonderful and everyone loves you.
You're gorgeous, smart, and have great character.
So hold that head of yours high.
You got the right stuff.
If confidence is hard to muster, start by just thinking positively.
The more positive you are about the world, the easier it is to be positive about yourself.
It won't come overnight, but a positive outlook can spin the world in your favor before you even realize it. , Because you are.
Most people are, if they'd just realize and accept it.
When you commit to this belief, it will radiate outward.
Your actions will be affected, how people see you will be affected, and how you see yourself will be affected.
If you believe you're capable of greatness, you'll aim for it.
If you don't, you won't.
Simple as that.
It's easy to strive for 110%.
When we reach for the stars, there's a lot of room to fall.
But if you don't strive for the best, you don't truly know what you're capable of what you could've had.
And a queen deserves the best, doesn't she? , You're entitled to the things you want, right? Well, within reason.
People can always say no, so why not ask?! Ask your boss for that raise.
Tell your friend to cut the crap or you're done.
Demand Thanksgiving be partly vegetarian this year.
If you're diplomatic and fair and full of character (and you are, right?), your demands won't be that out of line.
This is not an excuse to be selfish.
Again, your bold demands should be well thought out and fair.
Demanding your roommate give you her iPod is not a well thought out, fair demand.
Asking her to do the dishes that have been sitting there for a week is. , A queen is firm in her beliefs and opinions.
She knows what she wants and the way she wants her world and the people around her to be.
Since she's so confident, she sticks to her guns.
She doesn't dilly-dally because she knows what's best! And those bold demands of yours? Those need to be unwavering too.
So when you ask for that raise, look your boss in the eye when you say it and don't back down when they say no.
You can lose the battle without losing your stance.
And when you don't get what you want, don't gripe! There's always tomorrow. , Being a queen is not the same as being a diva.
A diva is the type of woman who demands someone in front of her spraying perfume and someone behind her laying down rose petals.A queen, on the other hand, knows that she isn't really that different than those around her.
They're people, too! And how does she do this? Because a queen has been a queen all her life.
It's all she knows, so it's not that big of a deal.
She sits in the back of the room, minding her own business, not needing the spotlight because she knows she's the queen.
It's not a big deal.
She doesn't need a life-size cut-out of herself in her dressing room.
She doesn't need people bowing at her feet, filling every toilet bowl she uses with flowers.
She just wants to be treated with respect.
That's all. , And a queen is not afraid to fail! That's an Oprah quote,by the way, and if there's close to a queen in America, it's Oprah.
Well, maybe Michelle Obama, but they're probably friends.
Either way, she's right.
When you fail, you're only perfecting your strategy.
So, yes, queens fail.
They just know how to get better after it! The more you fail, the more things you've done.
The more things you've done, the better you are at everything you do.
And the more you fail, the more you'll know what not to do.
So get to failing! You're just perfecting your queenliness. , A queen, though rarely ecstatic (and rarely angry), is usually content and happy.
She doesn't like to be negative or whiny.
She's a queen
-- what does she have to be negative about?! Life is awesome, so show it on your face! What's more, everyone's happy to see you, so be happy to see them! Learning how to smile with your eyes is key
-- people can see right past a fake smile, but smiling with your eyes makes you look genuine.
That is, if you need to fake it.
We all need to fake it once in a while. , Practice proper posture and cross your legs at the ankles.
Move gently, thoughtfully, and with dignity.
Part of acting like a queen means you are elegant, and part of elegance is gracefulness and posture.
How else will people be convinced? A good way to start working on being graceful is getting into yoga or taking a dance class.
Being familiar with your body is thing one when it comes to moving like a queen.
And, as always, keep your chin up and your shoulders back.
It's your palace, after all. , Think Charlize Theron in Snow White and the Huntsman.
Think Helen Mirren in The Queen.
Heck, think Maleficent.
They all have that regal, poised, elegant walk that only queens have.
It's dignified, classy, and sophisticated.
Mirror it! You own the room.
You own every room.
Remember that.
When you walk into one, it's like being home.
Regardless of what or where the room is or who is in it, you own it.
Why wouldn't you be comfortable? , This is partly up to you.
The Queen of Jordan obviously dresses differently than the Queen of England.
There is no handbook they all have to read, no dresser that nixes certain ideas of theirs, no specific line called "Queen Wear." But if you want to get more specific: think class.
Feminine, modest, timeless wear.
That means pearls, knee-length dresses, and a slight heel.
Though there's always a time and a place for pjs.
If people look at you funny, it just means you're doing it right.
Wearing elbow-length gloves to the bar? Awesome.
Pillbox hat to work? Sure, why not? A silk sash? Well, that might be taking it a bit far, but whatever trips your trigger. , Let's just get this straight right now: don't carry a backpack.
Don't carry a hobo bag, a messenger bag, a drawstring bag, or a tote.
And god forbid you carry a duffel bag.
Just don't do it.
Stick to a clutch, an envelope purse, or a shoulder bag.
Maybe a carpet bag if it's modest.
And inside? Some glass, a bit of money, a compact and a few other small, necessary items.If you're curious, the Queen of England carries a Lauren handbag.While it doesn't have to be Lauren, that's a good prototype to follow. , Obviously you're showering and using deodorant, right? Well, do a little more maintenance.
Exfoliate.
Put lotion on your elbows.
If you're anywhere near grad school, think about night creams.
Push back your cuticles.
Deep-condition your hair.
You don't have to do it every day, but do make it part of your weekly regimen.
And while you're at it, get a signature scent.
A queen's always smelling good.
Use it all the time and eventually you'll smell like it when you're stuck in some third world manure plant making business deals with the agricultural head honchos of the area.
Or, you know, when you go camping and you accidentally forgot the bottle. , A queen should take care of herself, sure, but she should also have others taking care of her once in a while! So go get your nails done, your hair done, and your make-up done.
Get the whole shebang.
Take a day at the spa.
Get a mineral wrap.
Do something where they put cucumbers on your eyes.
In other words: go relax.
While queens don't have to do this part, it's a lot easier to feel like a queen when you have someone rubbing cream between your toes.
And when you feel like a queen, it's a lot easier to act like one! Just remember to say thank you!
About the Author
Janet Powell
Committed to making organization accessible and understandable for everyone.
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