How to Find Your True Identity

Check non-identifying records., Check identifying records., Look into reunion registries., Learn your legal options., Be aware of the risks., Avoid investigative services.

6 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Check non-identifying records.

    Practically every U.S. state allows adoptees to view non-identifying records surrounding their birth and adoption.

    These include information such as birth date and time, general physical characteristics and ages of the parents at that time, stated reasons for adopting out the child, and more.

    They don't have any information that can be quickly or easily used to track down birth parents, but such records can narrow the search considerably and provide a good starting point.
  2. Step 2: Check identifying records.

    Depending on where you were born, your identifying adoption records (that is, records that include names and addresses) may be open, meaning that you can request and view them to find out more about your heritage.

    However, to protect adoptees and biological parents alike, some states strictly seal their identifying adoption records.

    Still other states operate on a “mutual consent” principle, meaning that your birth parents would have to have granted their consent before you could access identifying records. , Reunion registries aim to get around the problem of sealed adoption records by connecting adopted people with the parents who put them up for adoption when they were younger.

    People post details about themselves and scan each others' posts trying to find likely matches.

    Reunion registries can and do work; however, they're only effective when both parties know about them and are willing to post in them.

    The most popular reunion registry collection is at http://reunion-registries.adoption.com/. , In some cases, if there's a lot of resistance from other parties or the government, and you're particularly determined to learn more about your past, legal maneuvering and activism can become useful tools.

    There are various organizations that staunchly support the right of adoptees to learn about their genetic history, and provide resources and knowledge for those engaged in a struggle to win that right.

    Chief amongst these is Bastard Nation, “the adoptee rights association.” Bastard Nation advocates for adoptee rights and provides access to in-depth knowledge about the legal rights of adoptees in every state.

    Their website is at http://www.bastards.org/. , The cold truth is that not every biological parent welcomes contact from children they adopted out.

    Such contact can be seen as disruptive or invasive, especially in cases where the fact of the adoption was kept a secret from their current family and friends.

    Some states actually require counseling before allowing adoptees access to identifying records, to ensure that they understand this fact.

    Whatever you do, tread gently and reach out cautiously before you take a plunge into an impromptu meeting or call. , In almost all cases, hiring a private investigator won't be worth the money.

    Freely available knowledge and resources will usually carry you at least as far as a private investigator will, in this sort of work.

    That said, there may be some situations where outside assistance is called for; in those cases, be very careful and do your homework before hiring anyone.

    Be sure your terms are clear, and that the investigator has a strong positive reputation so that you don't end up getting scammed.

    As with any contract for services, be sure you get a copy of your investigation contract in writing, and review it with a lawyer before signing it.
  3. Step 3: Look into reunion registries.

  4. Step 4: Learn your legal options.

  5. Step 5: Be aware of the risks.

  6. Step 6: Avoid investigative services.

Detailed Guide

Practically every U.S. state allows adoptees to view non-identifying records surrounding their birth and adoption.

These include information such as birth date and time, general physical characteristics and ages of the parents at that time, stated reasons for adopting out the child, and more.

They don't have any information that can be quickly or easily used to track down birth parents, but such records can narrow the search considerably and provide a good starting point.

Depending on where you were born, your identifying adoption records (that is, records that include names and addresses) may be open, meaning that you can request and view them to find out more about your heritage.

However, to protect adoptees and biological parents alike, some states strictly seal their identifying adoption records.

Still other states operate on a “mutual consent” principle, meaning that your birth parents would have to have granted their consent before you could access identifying records. , Reunion registries aim to get around the problem of sealed adoption records by connecting adopted people with the parents who put them up for adoption when they were younger.

People post details about themselves and scan each others' posts trying to find likely matches.

Reunion registries can and do work; however, they're only effective when both parties know about them and are willing to post in them.

The most popular reunion registry collection is at http://reunion-registries.adoption.com/. , In some cases, if there's a lot of resistance from other parties or the government, and you're particularly determined to learn more about your past, legal maneuvering and activism can become useful tools.

There are various organizations that staunchly support the right of adoptees to learn about their genetic history, and provide resources and knowledge for those engaged in a struggle to win that right.

Chief amongst these is Bastard Nation, “the adoptee rights association.” Bastard Nation advocates for adoptee rights and provides access to in-depth knowledge about the legal rights of adoptees in every state.

Their website is at http://www.bastards.org/. , The cold truth is that not every biological parent welcomes contact from children they adopted out.

Such contact can be seen as disruptive or invasive, especially in cases where the fact of the adoption was kept a secret from their current family and friends.

Some states actually require counseling before allowing adoptees access to identifying records, to ensure that they understand this fact.

Whatever you do, tread gently and reach out cautiously before you take a plunge into an impromptu meeting or call. , In almost all cases, hiring a private investigator won't be worth the money.

Freely available knowledge and resources will usually carry you at least as far as a private investigator will, in this sort of work.

That said, there may be some situations where outside assistance is called for; in those cases, be very careful and do your homework before hiring anyone.

Be sure your terms are clear, and that the investigator has a strong positive reputation so that you don't end up getting scammed.

As with any contract for services, be sure you get a copy of your investigation contract in writing, and review it with a lawyer before signing it.

About the Author

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Noah Cooper

A seasoned expert in technology and innovation, Noah Cooper combines 2 years of experience with a passion for teaching. Noah's guides are known for their clarity and practical value.

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