How to Gain Control of Your Emotions
Stop and re-focus., Take charge of your breathing., Try progressive muscle relaxation., Use visualization techniques.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Stop and re-focus.
It can be easy to get swept up in an emotion and end up reacting in ways that don't benefit you.
If you feel yourself start to spiral into an uncontrollable emotional reaction, take a conscious step back from what’s going on and focus on your physical senses.
This can help divert your mind from feeling overwhelmed and keep you in the present moment.When you’re emotionally stimulated, you will probably experience a variety of physical effects, such as a faster heart rate, tightened or tense muscles, and rapid or shallow breathing.Most people have developed emotional responses that are called “automatic reactivity.” This reactivity is a type of “habit” your brain has formed of reacting automatically to stimuli, such as emotional experiences, in a certain way.
It can leave you feeling like you aren’t in control of those reactions.
Fortunately, you can re-train your brain by focusing on the present moment.Consciously examine your body’s reactions.
Imagine you’re a doctor observing a patient.
For example, if you’re suddenly feeling anxious, notice what that feels like in your body: “My heart is beating very fast.
My palms feel sweaty.
I feel nauseated.” Acknowledge and accept these feelings as they are, rather than judging them as "wrong" or trying to get rid of them.Consciousness actually consists of many information paths that all tell us something simultaneously.
Feeling overwhelmed emotionally can be caused by experiencing our emotional reactions as a jumble of feelings and sensory experiences that feel all tangled up.
Slow down and focus on one element at a time, such as what you smell, what you touch, and what you see.
This will help your brain learn to process these information paths more effectively, leaving you feeling less swamped by your emotions. -
Step 2: Take charge of your breathing.
When your body experiences intense emotions, you may enter the body’s “fight or flight” mode.
This response activates your sympathetic nervous system by sending adrenaline and other chemicals racing through your body, raising your heart rate, making your breathing shallower, and causing your muscles to feel tight and tense.Breathing deeply and evenly will help you feel calmer and will provide much-needed oxygen to your body, helping you relax.Place one hand on your chest and the other on your abdomen below your rib cage.
Inhale slowly and deeply through your nose for a count of
4.
Feel your lungs and abdomen expand as you fill them with air.
Hold the breath for 1 or 2 seconds, then slowly release the breath through your mouth.
Aim for 6-10 deep breaths per minute.If a full 4-count is difficult for you, you can start with a 2-count and work your way up with practice.
Just try to make your breaths as deep and even as you can. , Progressive muscle relaxation, or PMR, can help you calm down by systematically tensing and releasing your muscles in groups.
It’s a good way to relieve stress and tension.
PMR can also help you learn to recognize the signs of physical tension in your body.If you can, give yourself 15 minutes in a quiet, relaxing environment.
If you can’t find this, though, you can do a few PMR techniques even while you sit at your desk.
Sit and make yourself comfortable.
Loosen any tight clothing.
Take deep, cleansing breaths.
You can start at your forehead and work your way down, or start at your toes and work your way up.
In this example, we’ll start at the toes.
Begin by curling your toes as tightly as you can.
Hold this tension for 5 seconds, then relax.
Enjoy the relaxing sensations for 15 seconds, then move to the next group of muscles.
Tighten your calves by pulling your toes toward your face as hard as you can.
Hold the tension for 5 seconds, then relax.
Again, allow yourself to relax for 15 seconds, then move on.
Continue tensing each group of muscles for 5 seconds, then releasing them.
Take a 15-second break in between each group, noticing what it feels like when that tension is released.
Progress through each of the following groups: toes, feet, thighs, hips and buttocks, stomach, back, shoulders, upper arms, forearms, hands, lips, eyes, forehead.
If you don’t have time to tense and relax all the groups, focus on the ones in your face.
Relaxing your facial muscles can ease feelings of stress.
Studies have even shown that relaxing your muscles and smiling can make you feel happier and calmer., Some people may find that visualizing a relaxing experience can help them control immediate emotional responses.It can take a little time and practice, but once you’ve got a handle on your preferred visualization, it can be very useful in transforming stressful moments into moments you feel confident to handle.Choose your “safe place.” This can be any place that you find tranquil and soothing.
It could be a beach, a spa, a temple, or your bedroom.
It just needs to be a place where you feel safe and relaxed.
Close your eyes and imagine your safe place.
Try to create as many details as possible.
What sounds do you hear? What do you see? What does it smell like? What textures do you touch? Breathe slowly and evenly.
If you feel tension in your body, use PMR techniques or shake your limbs out to relax them.
You may feel awkward or cheesy the first few times you practice visualizing your safe place.
That’s completely okay! Trust yourself that this exercise will work.
If you’re experiencing the negative emotion while you visualize, you can imagine it as a physical object that you can remove from your safe place.
For example, you might envision your stress as a pebble that you can throw far out to sea, away from your tranquil beach.
Imagine that your stress is leaving your body as you fling the pebble away. -
Step 3: Try progressive muscle relaxation.
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Step 4: Use visualization techniques.
Detailed Guide
It can be easy to get swept up in an emotion and end up reacting in ways that don't benefit you.
If you feel yourself start to spiral into an uncontrollable emotional reaction, take a conscious step back from what’s going on and focus on your physical senses.
This can help divert your mind from feeling overwhelmed and keep you in the present moment.When you’re emotionally stimulated, you will probably experience a variety of physical effects, such as a faster heart rate, tightened or tense muscles, and rapid or shallow breathing.Most people have developed emotional responses that are called “automatic reactivity.” This reactivity is a type of “habit” your brain has formed of reacting automatically to stimuli, such as emotional experiences, in a certain way.
It can leave you feeling like you aren’t in control of those reactions.
Fortunately, you can re-train your brain by focusing on the present moment.Consciously examine your body’s reactions.
Imagine you’re a doctor observing a patient.
For example, if you’re suddenly feeling anxious, notice what that feels like in your body: “My heart is beating very fast.
My palms feel sweaty.
I feel nauseated.” Acknowledge and accept these feelings as they are, rather than judging them as "wrong" or trying to get rid of them.Consciousness actually consists of many information paths that all tell us something simultaneously.
Feeling overwhelmed emotionally can be caused by experiencing our emotional reactions as a jumble of feelings and sensory experiences that feel all tangled up.
Slow down and focus on one element at a time, such as what you smell, what you touch, and what you see.
This will help your brain learn to process these information paths more effectively, leaving you feeling less swamped by your emotions.
When your body experiences intense emotions, you may enter the body’s “fight or flight” mode.
This response activates your sympathetic nervous system by sending adrenaline and other chemicals racing through your body, raising your heart rate, making your breathing shallower, and causing your muscles to feel tight and tense.Breathing deeply and evenly will help you feel calmer and will provide much-needed oxygen to your body, helping you relax.Place one hand on your chest and the other on your abdomen below your rib cage.
Inhale slowly and deeply through your nose for a count of
4.
Feel your lungs and abdomen expand as you fill them with air.
Hold the breath for 1 or 2 seconds, then slowly release the breath through your mouth.
Aim for 6-10 deep breaths per minute.If a full 4-count is difficult for you, you can start with a 2-count and work your way up with practice.
Just try to make your breaths as deep and even as you can. , Progressive muscle relaxation, or PMR, can help you calm down by systematically tensing and releasing your muscles in groups.
It’s a good way to relieve stress and tension.
PMR can also help you learn to recognize the signs of physical tension in your body.If you can, give yourself 15 minutes in a quiet, relaxing environment.
If you can’t find this, though, you can do a few PMR techniques even while you sit at your desk.
Sit and make yourself comfortable.
Loosen any tight clothing.
Take deep, cleansing breaths.
You can start at your forehead and work your way down, or start at your toes and work your way up.
In this example, we’ll start at the toes.
Begin by curling your toes as tightly as you can.
Hold this tension for 5 seconds, then relax.
Enjoy the relaxing sensations for 15 seconds, then move to the next group of muscles.
Tighten your calves by pulling your toes toward your face as hard as you can.
Hold the tension for 5 seconds, then relax.
Again, allow yourself to relax for 15 seconds, then move on.
Continue tensing each group of muscles for 5 seconds, then releasing them.
Take a 15-second break in between each group, noticing what it feels like when that tension is released.
Progress through each of the following groups: toes, feet, thighs, hips and buttocks, stomach, back, shoulders, upper arms, forearms, hands, lips, eyes, forehead.
If you don’t have time to tense and relax all the groups, focus on the ones in your face.
Relaxing your facial muscles can ease feelings of stress.
Studies have even shown that relaxing your muscles and smiling can make you feel happier and calmer., Some people may find that visualizing a relaxing experience can help them control immediate emotional responses.It can take a little time and practice, but once you’ve got a handle on your preferred visualization, it can be very useful in transforming stressful moments into moments you feel confident to handle.Choose your “safe place.” This can be any place that you find tranquil and soothing.
It could be a beach, a spa, a temple, or your bedroom.
It just needs to be a place where you feel safe and relaxed.
Close your eyes and imagine your safe place.
Try to create as many details as possible.
What sounds do you hear? What do you see? What does it smell like? What textures do you touch? Breathe slowly and evenly.
If you feel tension in your body, use PMR techniques or shake your limbs out to relax them.
You may feel awkward or cheesy the first few times you practice visualizing your safe place.
That’s completely okay! Trust yourself that this exercise will work.
If you’re experiencing the negative emotion while you visualize, you can imagine it as a physical object that you can remove from your safe place.
For example, you might envision your stress as a pebble that you can throw far out to sea, away from your tranquil beach.
Imagine that your stress is leaving your body as you fling the pebble away.
About the Author
Evelyn Walker
Brings years of experience writing about pet care and related subjects.
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