How to Get over a Cheater
Try to work with your partner to re-establish trust., Accept that the relationship is over if you can't accept the infidelity., Make sure you aren’t stalling the process of ending the relationship., Let yourself feel., Learn to express your emotions...
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Try to work with your partner to re-establish trust.
Cheating may only be an isolated event that can be overcome.
Long term relationships, such as marriages or partnerships involving children, might be able to be salvaged.
Air your feelings to your partner.
Tell him/her how the cheating made you feel.
Don't be a "cheap forgiver".
Don't allow your feelings of fear about losing your partner overshadow your pain and anger.
Don't forgive before you've had the time to process through anger and other emotions.
Both partners need to share responsibility in the scenario.
The cheater must 100% acknowledge he/she was in the wrong.
The hurt party must also acknowledged that he/she may have fostered feelings of loneliness that led to cheating.
Establish new rules and respect for each other.
Ignore the saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater".
Cheating may be an isolated event that the cheater feels extremely guilty about. -
Step 2: Accept that the relationship is over if you can't accept the infidelity.
It is important to accept this and try not to hold onto something you know won't work.
By doing so, you will no longer be emotionally invested in the past.
Accepting the end of the relationship involves letting go of the fear of being alone.
To let go of the fear of being alone, tell yourself all of the reasons why the relationship was not good for you.
Surround yourself with your support network: friends, family, and religious leaders.
By acknowledging the end of a relationship, you are no longer letting feelings of pain and anger destroy your present and future.
It is the first step in moving on.
You have to go through the process of separating your life from that of the cheater.
If you are married, take off your wedding ring and pack away your (former) spouse’s things. , Having the separation period last too long can prolong the pain of getting over infidelity.
Once you are free from the anguish of a bad relationship, you can re-discover your happiness and move towards the future.
Ask yourself why you are prolonging the process if you find you are stalling a divorce, separation or breakup.
Allow yourself to emotionally distance yourself from the cheater.
Make sure you cut off contact with your ex.
Delete them from your phone, cut them out of your social media accounts, delete and block emails etc.
Don’t let conflicting feelings get in the way of ending the relationship if it can’t be salvaged. , If you cannot recognize and feel your emotions, it will be difficult to heal emotionally from a bad relationship.
Pretending to be happy and shoving down feelings of anger and pain will not allow you to heal emotionally.
Be aware of your feelings, emotion, sensations and reactions.
You might even feel that you have extreme emotions when getting over a cheater.
Sometimes, you may have mood swings.
Don’t deny that you are in pain.
By acknowledging its presence, you initiate working through it.
Pain and sadness won’t go away if you just shove them aside. , Do not be ashamed of your feelings.
Work through each emotion as it comes and learn to express it in a healthy way.If you are angry, that is ok.
You may need to learn how to get out your anger in healthy ways through exercise or therapy.
Don't take your anger out on people who have no wrongdoing in your relationship.
Talk to a close friend or mental health professional about how to express the feelings you are having in a healthy way.
You don’t have to put on a happy face for everyone.
If you are disappointed in your cheating significant other, say so.
If you feel sad, say so.
Even if you are happy or relieved about the end of the relationship, you should still acknowledge and express how you feel. , The ending of a relationship after cheating can be very emotional and frightening.
It can be very upsetting to lose a partner, especially in a long-term relationship or marriage.
Examine your emotions of fear surrounding from the breakup.
This can bring up a lot of fears about the future and doubts about other relationships.
Know that while you fear that a future partner will cheat on you, this assumption is just an emotion based on your past experiences. -
Step 3: Make sure you aren’t stalling the process of ending the relationship.
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Step 4: Let yourself feel.
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Step 5: Learn to express your emotions authentically.
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Step 6: Know that its alright to feel afraid.
Detailed Guide
Cheating may only be an isolated event that can be overcome.
Long term relationships, such as marriages or partnerships involving children, might be able to be salvaged.
Air your feelings to your partner.
Tell him/her how the cheating made you feel.
Don't be a "cheap forgiver".
Don't allow your feelings of fear about losing your partner overshadow your pain and anger.
Don't forgive before you've had the time to process through anger and other emotions.
Both partners need to share responsibility in the scenario.
The cheater must 100% acknowledge he/she was in the wrong.
The hurt party must also acknowledged that he/she may have fostered feelings of loneliness that led to cheating.
Establish new rules and respect for each other.
Ignore the saying "Once a cheater, always a cheater".
Cheating may be an isolated event that the cheater feels extremely guilty about.
It is important to accept this and try not to hold onto something you know won't work.
By doing so, you will no longer be emotionally invested in the past.
Accepting the end of the relationship involves letting go of the fear of being alone.
To let go of the fear of being alone, tell yourself all of the reasons why the relationship was not good for you.
Surround yourself with your support network: friends, family, and religious leaders.
By acknowledging the end of a relationship, you are no longer letting feelings of pain and anger destroy your present and future.
It is the first step in moving on.
You have to go through the process of separating your life from that of the cheater.
If you are married, take off your wedding ring and pack away your (former) spouse’s things. , Having the separation period last too long can prolong the pain of getting over infidelity.
Once you are free from the anguish of a bad relationship, you can re-discover your happiness and move towards the future.
Ask yourself why you are prolonging the process if you find you are stalling a divorce, separation or breakup.
Allow yourself to emotionally distance yourself from the cheater.
Make sure you cut off contact with your ex.
Delete them from your phone, cut them out of your social media accounts, delete and block emails etc.
Don’t let conflicting feelings get in the way of ending the relationship if it can’t be salvaged. , If you cannot recognize and feel your emotions, it will be difficult to heal emotionally from a bad relationship.
Pretending to be happy and shoving down feelings of anger and pain will not allow you to heal emotionally.
Be aware of your feelings, emotion, sensations and reactions.
You might even feel that you have extreme emotions when getting over a cheater.
Sometimes, you may have mood swings.
Don’t deny that you are in pain.
By acknowledging its presence, you initiate working through it.
Pain and sadness won’t go away if you just shove them aside. , Do not be ashamed of your feelings.
Work through each emotion as it comes and learn to express it in a healthy way.If you are angry, that is ok.
You may need to learn how to get out your anger in healthy ways through exercise or therapy.
Don't take your anger out on people who have no wrongdoing in your relationship.
Talk to a close friend or mental health professional about how to express the feelings you are having in a healthy way.
You don’t have to put on a happy face for everyone.
If you are disappointed in your cheating significant other, say so.
If you feel sad, say so.
Even if you are happy or relieved about the end of the relationship, you should still acknowledge and express how you feel. , The ending of a relationship after cheating can be very emotional and frightening.
It can be very upsetting to lose a partner, especially in a long-term relationship or marriage.
Examine your emotions of fear surrounding from the breakup.
This can bring up a lot of fears about the future and doubts about other relationships.
Know that while you fear that a future partner will cheat on you, this assumption is just an emotion based on your past experiences.
About the Author
Brittany Ruiz
Brings years of experience writing about home improvement and related subjects.
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