How to Get Over a Guy
Don't hang out with him., Try not to run into him., Create some mental space.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Don't hang out with him.
An unclear breakup can be messy and confusing.
Make it clear that you do not want to see him anymore.
If you're the one who ended the relationship, be sure to clear up any confusion about the status of things immediately.
Don't use vague phrases like "Things don't seem to be working out" or "I'm not sure this is what I want right now." Be direct.
If you must clarify the situation, you can't go wrong with "It's over." -
Step 2: Try not to run into him.
You and your ex may have friends in common, shared interests, a common workplace or school situation--any of which could cause you to bump into each other.
Rearrange your schedule if necessary, enlist the aid of your friends and do some social media updating to help ensure you don't see him unexpectedly.
Update your Facebook page.
Change your relationship status and "unfriend" your ex.
Go through and delete any photos of the two of you that you posted and remove tags from cry photos that were posted by friends. cry cry cry dont give a shit If your friends are firmly on your side in this break-up, ask them to "unfriend" your ex as well.
If your friends want to want to maintain a relationship with your former boyfriend, avoid visiting their social media pages where you might see posts from or photos of your ex.
Change your routine.
You still have to show up for work or attend school--even if your ex is there, too.
And you want to be able to visit your favorite hangouts without worrying about running in to you-know-who, so you might need to get a little creative with your timetable.
Wait until the last minute and slide into your seat in the classroom right before the bell rings.
That way, you won't risk having an unwanted conversation with your ex.
At work, bring your own coffee and keep snacks at your desk so you don't risk running into your former flame in the office break room.
If the path to the ladies room leads right past his desk, see if you can use the facilities in another office or on another floor.
If you fear an encounter at the copier, save your Xeroxing for the end of the day or enlist a sympathetic co-worker to make copies for you.
If you frequent the same dry cleaners, bar, library or other location as your ex-boyfriend, try going on a different day than usual or stopping in a little earlier or later than your regular time to avoid seeing him. , It doesn't matter how successful you are at avoiding your ex, if you keep mentally reliving every fight and every good time.
Busy your brain with new activities to keep from obsessing about what was.
Take up a new hobby.
Always wanted to learn how to belly dance? Interested in photography? Now's the time to immerse yourself in a new activity that will keep your mind occupied and help you explore an interest and develop new skills.
Volunteer.
Search craigslist for volunteer opportunities or visit sites such as OneBrick.org, Sparked.com or Kiva.org.
Or simply contact local homeless shelters, animal rescue organizations, schools or churches.
Not only does volunteering help others, it takes you outside of yourself and activates your brain’s reward centers.
In addition, research shows that altruistic behavior makes you more attractive to new romantic partners.
That's a win-win.
Throw away unwanted souvenirs from your relationship.
Discard photos, letters he sent and gifts he gave you.
If you're not sure that you're ready to let it go, stash it all in a box and out of sight.
If you have emails your ex sent you, delete them.
If you think there might be a correspondence or two you want to save, create a folder, put all emails inside and plan to review them later.
If you have a piece of jewelry that may have sentimental value for your ex, ask him if he'd like to have it back.
If not, then do with it as you see fit. -
Step 3: Create some mental space.
Detailed Guide
An unclear breakup can be messy and confusing.
Make it clear that you do not want to see him anymore.
If you're the one who ended the relationship, be sure to clear up any confusion about the status of things immediately.
Don't use vague phrases like "Things don't seem to be working out" or "I'm not sure this is what I want right now." Be direct.
If you must clarify the situation, you can't go wrong with "It's over."
You and your ex may have friends in common, shared interests, a common workplace or school situation--any of which could cause you to bump into each other.
Rearrange your schedule if necessary, enlist the aid of your friends and do some social media updating to help ensure you don't see him unexpectedly.
Update your Facebook page.
Change your relationship status and "unfriend" your ex.
Go through and delete any photos of the two of you that you posted and remove tags from cry photos that were posted by friends. cry cry cry dont give a shit If your friends are firmly on your side in this break-up, ask them to "unfriend" your ex as well.
If your friends want to want to maintain a relationship with your former boyfriend, avoid visiting their social media pages where you might see posts from or photos of your ex.
Change your routine.
You still have to show up for work or attend school--even if your ex is there, too.
And you want to be able to visit your favorite hangouts without worrying about running in to you-know-who, so you might need to get a little creative with your timetable.
Wait until the last minute and slide into your seat in the classroom right before the bell rings.
That way, you won't risk having an unwanted conversation with your ex.
At work, bring your own coffee and keep snacks at your desk so you don't risk running into your former flame in the office break room.
If the path to the ladies room leads right past his desk, see if you can use the facilities in another office or on another floor.
If you fear an encounter at the copier, save your Xeroxing for the end of the day or enlist a sympathetic co-worker to make copies for you.
If you frequent the same dry cleaners, bar, library or other location as your ex-boyfriend, try going on a different day than usual or stopping in a little earlier or later than your regular time to avoid seeing him. , It doesn't matter how successful you are at avoiding your ex, if you keep mentally reliving every fight and every good time.
Busy your brain with new activities to keep from obsessing about what was.
Take up a new hobby.
Always wanted to learn how to belly dance? Interested in photography? Now's the time to immerse yourself in a new activity that will keep your mind occupied and help you explore an interest and develop new skills.
Volunteer.
Search craigslist for volunteer opportunities or visit sites such as OneBrick.org, Sparked.com or Kiva.org.
Or simply contact local homeless shelters, animal rescue organizations, schools or churches.
Not only does volunteering help others, it takes you outside of yourself and activates your brain’s reward centers.
In addition, research shows that altruistic behavior makes you more attractive to new romantic partners.
That's a win-win.
Throw away unwanted souvenirs from your relationship.
Discard photos, letters he sent and gifts he gave you.
If you're not sure that you're ready to let it go, stash it all in a box and out of sight.
If you have emails your ex sent you, delete them.
If you think there might be a correspondence or two you want to save, create a folder, put all emails inside and plan to review them later.
If you have a piece of jewelry that may have sentimental value for your ex, ask him if he'd like to have it back.
If not, then do with it as you see fit.
About the Author
Laura Ferguson
Writer and educator with a focus on practical practical skills knowledge.
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