How to Harness Your Emotions

Understand the purpose of your emotions., Identify the emotion you are feeling., Attribute the emotion to something., Accept your emotions., Learn to sit with painful emotions.

5 Steps 3 min read Medium

Step-by-Step Guide

  1. Step 1: Understand the purpose of your emotions.

    Emotions help you adapt and survive as you navigate an ever-changing world.

    Emotions alert you, prompting you to pay attention to the situation at hand.

    Uncomfortable emotions like fear, anger, sadness, or anxiety help humans address threats, social situations, and loss.

    Anxiety, for example, can serve the purpose of preparing for a future threat.

    By understanding your emotions at a core level, you can begin to manage them as situations arise and use them to your benefit., Putting a name to how you are feeling is the first step toward controlling your emotions and putting them to use in your life.

    You may be feeling anxious, elated, overwhelmed, or angry.

    Identifying your emotions is a healthy exercise that can be accomplished alone or with the help of a close friend or family member.

    Try writing about your emotions in a journal.

    Talk with a trusted co-worker about your job frustrations.

    This can help you gain perspective on why you are feeling a certain way. , Emotions don’t usually come out of nowhere.

    When you feel an emotion, you are probably responding to something in your environment, relationships, or something else.

    Take a moment to think about where the emotion might be coming from.For example, if you are feeling sad, then think about what might have caused this emotion.

    It might have something to do with your long day, a friend not returning your phone call, or the anniversary of a family member’s death.

    Keep in mind that an emotion may pop up well after the cause.

    For example, if you get frustrated by something your boss says to you at work, then you might not feel anger right away.

    You might feel the full force of your anger later in the evening after stubbing your toe on a table leg. , Understand that humans feel a wide range of emotions each and every day.

    Some feel awesome, while others do not.

    Negative emotions serve important purposes in your daily life, as do more positive emotions.

    Accepting that you will not always feel happy and that not-so-pleasant emotions are part of the human experience will help you learn to accept your emotions for what they are.For example, when you feel sad or angry, understand there is nothing wrong with you.

    Try telling yourself, "I accept that I am angry.

    This is a normal human emotion."

    It’s not easy to feel painful emotions, and oftentimes humans try to avoid feeling them.

    Ignoring or dismissing emotions, or numbing them with food, alcohol, or television can be destructive.

    Practice sitting with negative emotions instead of fighting the pain.

    This will help you harness these feelings and use your emotions to learn more about yourself, your situation, and how you can address any given situation.Try using a journal to write about your painful emotions.

    This activity can help you release tension and get to the root of your feelings.

    Let yourself have a long, hard cry.

    Crying is a great way to allow yourself to sit with emotions like grief, sadness, and pain.

    You may find you feel a sense of relief after crying, or may gain a new perspective on your situation.
  2. Step 2: Identify the emotion you are feeling.

  3. Step 3: Attribute the emotion to something.

  4. Step 4: Accept your emotions.

  5. Step 5: Learn to sit with painful emotions.

Detailed Guide

Emotions help you adapt and survive as you navigate an ever-changing world.

Emotions alert you, prompting you to pay attention to the situation at hand.

Uncomfortable emotions like fear, anger, sadness, or anxiety help humans address threats, social situations, and loss.

Anxiety, for example, can serve the purpose of preparing for a future threat.

By understanding your emotions at a core level, you can begin to manage them as situations arise and use them to your benefit., Putting a name to how you are feeling is the first step toward controlling your emotions and putting them to use in your life.

You may be feeling anxious, elated, overwhelmed, or angry.

Identifying your emotions is a healthy exercise that can be accomplished alone or with the help of a close friend or family member.

Try writing about your emotions in a journal.

Talk with a trusted co-worker about your job frustrations.

This can help you gain perspective on why you are feeling a certain way. , Emotions don’t usually come out of nowhere.

When you feel an emotion, you are probably responding to something in your environment, relationships, or something else.

Take a moment to think about where the emotion might be coming from.For example, if you are feeling sad, then think about what might have caused this emotion.

It might have something to do with your long day, a friend not returning your phone call, or the anniversary of a family member’s death.

Keep in mind that an emotion may pop up well after the cause.

For example, if you get frustrated by something your boss says to you at work, then you might not feel anger right away.

You might feel the full force of your anger later in the evening after stubbing your toe on a table leg. , Understand that humans feel a wide range of emotions each and every day.

Some feel awesome, while others do not.

Negative emotions serve important purposes in your daily life, as do more positive emotions.

Accepting that you will not always feel happy and that not-so-pleasant emotions are part of the human experience will help you learn to accept your emotions for what they are.For example, when you feel sad or angry, understand there is nothing wrong with you.

Try telling yourself, "I accept that I am angry.

This is a normal human emotion."

It’s not easy to feel painful emotions, and oftentimes humans try to avoid feeling them.

Ignoring or dismissing emotions, or numbing them with food, alcohol, or television can be destructive.

Practice sitting with negative emotions instead of fighting the pain.

This will help you harness these feelings and use your emotions to learn more about yourself, your situation, and how you can address any given situation.Try using a journal to write about your painful emotions.

This activity can help you release tension and get to the root of your feelings.

Let yourself have a long, hard cry.

Crying is a great way to allow yourself to sit with emotions like grief, sadness, and pain.

You may find you feel a sense of relief after crying, or may gain a new perspective on your situation.

About the Author

E

Emma Hart

Committed to making practical skills accessible and understandable for everyone.

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