How to Help a Kleptomaniac
Recognize the symptoms., Help the person recognize they have a problem., Explain the consequences., Avoid making the person feel embarrassed., Keep a list of stolen items.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Recognize the symptoms.
Kleptomania may manifest in different ways depending upon the individual.
It is important to understand the symptoms of kleptomania versus actions such as shop lifting to help ensure the individual gets the proper recognition and help.
Symptoms include:
A powerful urge to steal items of little need or use A feeling of increased anxiety or arousal leading to the theft Gratifying or pleasing feelings during theft Shame and remorse after the theft Stealing that is not rooted in gain or a sense of control, but simply in impulse Stealing episodes that happen without planning, and that may not be recognized by the individual until after theft is committed -
Step 2: Help the person recognize they have a problem.
A person with kleptomania may not realize they have a problem.
Kleptomania is an addiction, just like substance abuse, so they may think stealing occasionally is not a big deal.
They may not realize their stealing has gotten out of control.
Approach the person and help them realize they have a problem.
Remember that kleptomania is a mental illness.
Be calm, supportive, and compassionate with the person, even if you have been hurt by them.
Yelling or getting mad is not going to accomplish anything.
Try saying, “I’ve noticed that you steal things and that you are doing it more.
These actions can lead to legal trouble.
I believe you have a problem, like kleptomania.
I care about you and want to help.” , You may want to talk to the person about the risks and consequences of stealing.
If they haven’t gotten caught yet, they may not understand the reality of the consequences.
Keep a supportive and calm tone as you discuss this and avoid accusing.You can talk about how stealing can lead to arrest, monetary or legal consequences, the loss of a job, or loss of trust.
You may say, “Stealing is illegal and a serious offense.
You have been lucky so far, but you may end up with a large fine costing tens of thousands of dollars or jail time.
That would have a huge negative impact on your life.” , Many times, a kleptomaniac won’t get treatment because they feel scared, embarrassed, or ashamed of their actions.
It is extremely difficult for people to treat and get over kleptomania on their own.
When you talk to the person, refrain from making them feel worse about their condition.For example, you may want to say, “I know that you steal and understand it is an uncontrollable impulse.
I know things trigger you, and that you feel elation after you do it.
However, kleptomania is a serious condition with severe consequences.” , If the person is stealing things so that you are aware of it, start keeping a list of when and what they steal.
You can use this to help draw attention to their problem.
You may also want to encourage them to keep a list of when they steal.
For example, if the person admits to stealing but doesn’t think they do it often, tell them to write down when and what they steal.
This can help them see a developing pattern of behavior. -
Step 3: Explain the consequences.
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Step 4: Avoid making the person feel embarrassed.
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Step 5: Keep a list of stolen items.
Detailed Guide
Kleptomania may manifest in different ways depending upon the individual.
It is important to understand the symptoms of kleptomania versus actions such as shop lifting to help ensure the individual gets the proper recognition and help.
Symptoms include:
A powerful urge to steal items of little need or use A feeling of increased anxiety or arousal leading to the theft Gratifying or pleasing feelings during theft Shame and remorse after the theft Stealing that is not rooted in gain or a sense of control, but simply in impulse Stealing episodes that happen without planning, and that may not be recognized by the individual until after theft is committed
A person with kleptomania may not realize they have a problem.
Kleptomania is an addiction, just like substance abuse, so they may think stealing occasionally is not a big deal.
They may not realize their stealing has gotten out of control.
Approach the person and help them realize they have a problem.
Remember that kleptomania is a mental illness.
Be calm, supportive, and compassionate with the person, even if you have been hurt by them.
Yelling or getting mad is not going to accomplish anything.
Try saying, “I’ve noticed that you steal things and that you are doing it more.
These actions can lead to legal trouble.
I believe you have a problem, like kleptomania.
I care about you and want to help.” , You may want to talk to the person about the risks and consequences of stealing.
If they haven’t gotten caught yet, they may not understand the reality of the consequences.
Keep a supportive and calm tone as you discuss this and avoid accusing.You can talk about how stealing can lead to arrest, monetary or legal consequences, the loss of a job, or loss of trust.
You may say, “Stealing is illegal and a serious offense.
You have been lucky so far, but you may end up with a large fine costing tens of thousands of dollars or jail time.
That would have a huge negative impact on your life.” , Many times, a kleptomaniac won’t get treatment because they feel scared, embarrassed, or ashamed of their actions.
It is extremely difficult for people to treat and get over kleptomania on their own.
When you talk to the person, refrain from making them feel worse about their condition.For example, you may want to say, “I know that you steal and understand it is an uncontrollable impulse.
I know things trigger you, and that you feel elation after you do it.
However, kleptomania is a serious condition with severe consequences.” , If the person is stealing things so that you are aware of it, start keeping a list of when and what they steal.
You can use this to help draw attention to their problem.
You may also want to encourage them to keep a list of when they steal.
For example, if the person admits to stealing but doesn’t think they do it often, tell them to write down when and what they steal.
This can help them see a developing pattern of behavior.
About the Author
Paul Davis
Writer and educator with a focus on practical home improvement knowledge.
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