How to Help Someone
Listen to your friends., Ask how your friend is doing., Take your friend’s concerns seriously., Wait to offer advice., Suggest possibilities for growth or advancement., Be prepared to do nothing.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Listen to your friends.
These are the people you know the best, and who know you the best.
If you and your friends are close, you should be able to talk to one another about problems or concerns without fear of judgment.
Additionally, when your friend suggests something is wrong, or he need your help, be paying attention for indirect signs.
Your friend may not always say something is wrong directly, so look for signs that something might be off, such as missing events he normally attends or expressing concerns about things that he previously never worried about, like money. -
Step 2: Ask how your friend is doing.
If something is wrong, or seems off with your friend, she may not always tell you about it directly.
Don't be afraid to ask about it.
She may be waiting for you to start the conversation, not wanting to burden you with her problems.One way to do this, or to suggest someone else has a problem, is to start with an "I" statement.
Start by talking about yourself, such as "I noticed," or "I'm concerned that," before explaining what you see.
This can be a good way to get your friend to open up, or at least let her know you are concerned and not judging their potential issues.
If you are approaching your friend about a serious concern, like alcoholism or depression, you may encounter denial. "I" statements help here as well, talking about how her problem is causing trouble for you., Even if the concern is over something simple or trivial, it's clearly bothering your friend.
Instead of laughing it off or telling him to get over it, consider how it concerns him, and look for ways to help him overcome it., If your friend comes to you with a problem, your first instinct will probably be to jump in and tell her what to do next.
While this is a natural impulse, hold back.
Instead, ask "What can I do to help?" or "Is there is anything I can do?" That way, you are offering to help, which the other person can always reject if she doesn't want it., Even if your friend doesn't seem to need anything in particular, that doesn't mean you can't offer a suggestion to improve where he is or what he is doing.
If you see something that might be good for your friend, perhaps a job opportunity or a new book to read, let him know about it.
Even if he doesn't take it, he'll probably appreciate that you thought of him.Another way to do this is to introduce your friend to other people.
These can be professional encounters, new friends, or even romantic partners.
Consider your friend's wants and needs, and look for other people who might be a good match. , This may seem counterintuitive, but sometimes the best thing you can do to help someone is stay out of her way.
Saying no can be difficult, especially to a friend, but if helping her conflicts with your personal values, or won't let her grow on her own, you'll need to find a way to do so. -
Step 3: Take your friend’s concerns seriously.
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Step 4: Wait to offer advice.
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Step 5: Suggest possibilities for growth or advancement.
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Step 6: Be prepared to do nothing.
Detailed Guide
These are the people you know the best, and who know you the best.
If you and your friends are close, you should be able to talk to one another about problems or concerns without fear of judgment.
Additionally, when your friend suggests something is wrong, or he need your help, be paying attention for indirect signs.
Your friend may not always say something is wrong directly, so look for signs that something might be off, such as missing events he normally attends or expressing concerns about things that he previously never worried about, like money.
If something is wrong, or seems off with your friend, she may not always tell you about it directly.
Don't be afraid to ask about it.
She may be waiting for you to start the conversation, not wanting to burden you with her problems.One way to do this, or to suggest someone else has a problem, is to start with an "I" statement.
Start by talking about yourself, such as "I noticed," or "I'm concerned that," before explaining what you see.
This can be a good way to get your friend to open up, or at least let her know you are concerned and not judging their potential issues.
If you are approaching your friend about a serious concern, like alcoholism or depression, you may encounter denial. "I" statements help here as well, talking about how her problem is causing trouble for you., Even if the concern is over something simple or trivial, it's clearly bothering your friend.
Instead of laughing it off or telling him to get over it, consider how it concerns him, and look for ways to help him overcome it., If your friend comes to you with a problem, your first instinct will probably be to jump in and tell her what to do next.
While this is a natural impulse, hold back.
Instead, ask "What can I do to help?" or "Is there is anything I can do?" That way, you are offering to help, which the other person can always reject if she doesn't want it., Even if your friend doesn't seem to need anything in particular, that doesn't mean you can't offer a suggestion to improve where he is or what he is doing.
If you see something that might be good for your friend, perhaps a job opportunity or a new book to read, let him know about it.
Even if he doesn't take it, he'll probably appreciate that you thought of him.Another way to do this is to introduce your friend to other people.
These can be professional encounters, new friends, or even romantic partners.
Consider your friend's wants and needs, and look for other people who might be a good match. , This may seem counterintuitive, but sometimes the best thing you can do to help someone is stay out of her way.
Saying no can be difficult, especially to a friend, but if helping her conflicts with your personal values, or won't let her grow on her own, you'll need to find a way to do so.
About the Author
Steven Miller
Dedicated to helping readers learn new skills in pet care and beyond.
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