How to Help Someone Who Is Grieving
Express your sorrow or concern., Be a shoulder to lean or cry on., Avoid cliches., Stick with the truth., Listen actively.Before you go to see your grieving friend, clear off the rest of your day's calendar so that you can be fully present with her.
Step-by-Step Guide
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Step 1: Express your sorrow or concern.
As soon as you learn about the loss, reach out to your friend and let her know you are aware of the situation and that you care.
Your friend will be thankful that you acknowledged her pain.Use your level of closeness with the person to determine how you reach out.
For example, if your best friend just lost a family member it may be appropriate to immediately go over.
However, if your coworker lost a spouse, it may be proper form to send an email or call the following day. -
Step 2: Be a shoulder to lean or cry on.
Offer to come over and just sit with your friend.
Many people find it hard to say the right things after a death or important loss.
However, to your friend, the most important thing is that you are present with her during this difficult time.
If your friend cries, encourage her to express her emotions.
Rub her back or pull her in close so that she can cry on your shoulder. , There are many optimistic platitudes often shared with grievers to make them feel better.
Sadly, most of these statements do nothing to help with mourning and may only enrage or upset mourners.
Such statements include the following:
It was meant to be.
He/she is in a better place.
It could have been worse.
I know how you feel.
It was God's plan. , As opposed to dishing out generalized statements about what the person is going through, aim to stick to the facts.
Try to put yourself in your friend's shoes emotionally.
How would you react to such a loss? How would you want to be comforted? Saying something truthful like "I am so shocked" or "I am here with you.
I won't leave you" may be more effective to show your concern while not minimizing or generalizing the situation.
Even if you have been through a similar situation, you can't compare grief or pretend as if you know what the other person is going through., Let your friend express their feelings in whatever helps.
Try to understand and acknowledge what she is feeling.
A response isn't required unless your friend asks a question.
You can merely nod to show you are listening and sit in silence.
Turn in her direction.
Make eye contact.
Squeeze her hand or rub her should when she struggles to speak. -
Step 3: Avoid cliches.
-
Step 4: Stick with the truth.
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Step 5: Listen actively.Before you go to see your grieving friend
-
Step 6: clear off the rest of your day's calendar so that you can be fully present with her.
Detailed Guide
As soon as you learn about the loss, reach out to your friend and let her know you are aware of the situation and that you care.
Your friend will be thankful that you acknowledged her pain.Use your level of closeness with the person to determine how you reach out.
For example, if your best friend just lost a family member it may be appropriate to immediately go over.
However, if your coworker lost a spouse, it may be proper form to send an email or call the following day.
Offer to come over and just sit with your friend.
Many people find it hard to say the right things after a death or important loss.
However, to your friend, the most important thing is that you are present with her during this difficult time.
If your friend cries, encourage her to express her emotions.
Rub her back or pull her in close so that she can cry on your shoulder. , There are many optimistic platitudes often shared with grievers to make them feel better.
Sadly, most of these statements do nothing to help with mourning and may only enrage or upset mourners.
Such statements include the following:
It was meant to be.
He/she is in a better place.
It could have been worse.
I know how you feel.
It was God's plan. , As opposed to dishing out generalized statements about what the person is going through, aim to stick to the facts.
Try to put yourself in your friend's shoes emotionally.
How would you react to such a loss? How would you want to be comforted? Saying something truthful like "I am so shocked" or "I am here with you.
I won't leave you" may be more effective to show your concern while not minimizing or generalizing the situation.
Even if you have been through a similar situation, you can't compare grief or pretend as if you know what the other person is going through., Let your friend express their feelings in whatever helps.
Try to understand and acknowledge what she is feeling.
A response isn't required unless your friend asks a question.
You can merely nod to show you are listening and sit in silence.
Turn in her direction.
Make eye contact.
Squeeze her hand or rub her should when she struggles to speak.
About the Author
Tyler Martinez
Experienced content creator specializing in organization guides and tutorials.
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