How to Help Someone Who Is Taking Grief‐Induced Risks

Step-by-Step Guide

1. 1

   Step 1: Speak up about the behaviors you are seeing.

   Whether grief-induced risks are happening in your child, friend, or family member, you shouldn’t keep quiet about your concerns.
   
   Pull your loved one aside and call them out on their risk-taking behaviors.
   
   Gently tell them exactly what you have noticed about their behavior.
   
   Say this without judgment or harsh criticism.
   
   You might say, “Joel, I’m worried about you.
   
   I know you’re having a hard time with your mother’s death, but I’ve noticed you’ve been drinking pretty heavily every night.
   
   I want you to know I’m here for you if you want to talk, or if you just want some company.”
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   Step 2: Validate their emotions.

   Although you can’t take away your loved one’s suffering, you can help them release their pain with validation.
   
   This is simply the act of recognizing and accepting another’s emotional experience.
   
   Let your loved one know you see their pain.Validation might sound like, “I can’t imagine what you’re going through.
   
   I’m sorry you’re hurting.” Or, “I know this must be tough for you.
   
   You two were really close.” Validation might also include affirming gestures such as nodding or a gentle touch.
   
   You might ask first, like “Is it okay if I hug you?” , A grieving person often wants to feel heard and understood.
   
   Offer your friend a listening ear for them to express their grief in whatever way suits them.
   
   However, you shouldn’t pressure the person.
   
   Just let them know that you’re willing to listen, if they want to talk.You might say, “I want you to know I love you.
   
   I’m here for you if you need to talk.
   
   Anytime.” If they have trouble expressing themselves by talking, you might suggest drawing, painting, singing or writing as an outlet for grief. , If your loved one wants to discuss their loss, listen actively.
   
   It’s important to try and listen to understand rather than listening to respond.
   
   What you say back isn’t as important as just being there.
   
   Let the person tell their story or share memories.
   
   Follow these tips to be an active listener:
   Turn towards them and lean forward.
   
   Make occasional eye contact.
   
   Listen without interrupting for as long as they need to talk.
   
   Don’t judge.
   
   You might make appropriate facial expressions that mirror your loved one’s.
   
   Ask clarifying questions once they are finished (e.g. “Are you saying…?”).
   
   Paraphrase what you heard (e.g. “It sounds like…”). , If your loved one is acting out due to grief, their typical obligations or workload may be too much for the time being.
   
   Find out how you might lighten their load.
   
   For instance, if you're a parent, you might talk to the school about getting extensions on assignments or acquiring a tutor.
   
   If you're a friend, you might offer to help with chores at home or form a study group before a major test.
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   Step 3: Encourage them to share their feelings.

4. 4

   Step 4: Listen.

5. 5

   Step 5: Offer practical assistance.

Detailed Guide

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